I have recently noticed that a lot of my pretender fics are very WHAMMy (Wistful Heartrenching Agonizing Moments) and this fic is no change. The following story is written as a continuation to my Reasons series. A story that takes a totally different, if not rollercoaster like turn from the sweet little series it was before. I give it about a PG 13 rating for adult themes, Death of a major character (sorrryyyy ) and some violence (very little). It dives into the plot quite quickly, but if you're familiar with Reasons at all it should be fine (if you're not I STRONGLY recommend you read at least one of the four stories). The situation is handled slightly differently than I would expect Miss Parker to if placed in this position, however it's fanfic....so I can be creative. Hope you like it, it was an angle I just had to explore. Please let me know what you think! You Can Run But You Can't Hide Nirvana Kliese Miss Parker lit her third cigarette for the day. Her third cigarette she was unable to smoke. "Oh hell." She grumbled as another wave of nausea swept over her, making her double over. She silenced the cigarettes glowing embers in the nearby ashtray and made her way to the nearest restroom as the wave of nausea got too strong to control. She raised her head away from the cold white bowl and swallowed hard trying to rid herself of the off taste that seemed to have formed in her mouth. She rocked back on her heels and ran a slightly shaking hand through her red hair. All this, and it wasn't even nine thirty yet. * * * * "Miss Parker." The voice from behind her was filled with a deep southern accent she knew all too well. "What is it Sydney?" She hissed without bothering to turn to face him. He came to a stop beside her and let out a breath. "Miss Parker are you all right? I saw you double over earlier..." He asked, concern present in= his voice. She let out a frustrated sigh as she searched for something to explain what she diddn't understand herself. "It's my ulcer Syd." She said finally, trying as hard as she could not to look him in the eye. "It's been playing up again." "Are you sure?" His voice was softer this time and his eyes questioning. "Sure." She repeated firmly. Raising her eyebrows condescendingly as she turned to go. "I mean you couldn't be, you know, pregnant." She felt her body stiffen as the last word struck her. The possibility had crossed her mind after missing her last period, but before now she had continued to ignore it as just a petty thought, just her mind trying to play up a reason. Slowly she turned to face him. She glared at him coldly, a look he had grown to know as 'don't go here'. "No." She replied, her voice steady, controlled, and menacing. "I don't think that's a possibility." * * * * The doctor re entered the room holding a clipboard in his hand. His blue eyes smiled in expected joy. "Miss I have some good news," Miss Parker closed her eyes and swallowed hard, unsure if she wanted to hear what he was about to say. "Ma'am you're 6 weeks pregnant." His smile was bright. She felt a ball of tension form in her stomach. She got to her feet and walked out of the room quickly on suddenly shaky legs. * * * * She slammed the door behind her and collapsed back against its hard wood.= She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, fighting the tears that she had been struggling to hold back. She allowed her legs to give way slowly as she slid down the door and came to rest on the floor. Her head hurt. It was too busy fighting the thoughts it diddn't want to think. Her eyes hurt. She was afraid to open them, afraid to see what was really= happening. Her legs hurt. She was too scared to move. Her whole body felt as thought it was being suffocated by a twisted emotion. An emotion and pain that she couldn't escape. She couldn't leave= it behind. It was growing inside her. She remembered her recent encounters with Jarod and a small smile appeared on her lips. A smile that left as quickly as it came. "Damn him." She whispered, her silent cry bubbling with anger. She closed her eyes as a hot wave of tears continued to stream down her pale cheeks. Tears that seemed to imprint the confusion she was surrounded by even more. She swallowed hard trying to rid herself of the strangling ball of emotion that seemed to be enveloping her. She was scared. She had always been able to fight her enemies. This time she couldn't fight it. It was part of her. Suddenly her confusion and anger left, and in it's place pure fear appeared. Telling her father she was pregnant would be bad enough. An illegitimate grandchild would be too much for him to take. Especially if he asked who the father was. She couldn't tell anyone. Her mind spun at the thought of what they would= do to her if they found out. What they would do to the child. She began to sob harder at the thought. Hopeless tears slid down her face and covered her lips with a salty taste. She wanted to punish herself for bringing this about. Suddenly it wasn't anyone's fault but her own. "I can't have this baby." She allowed the words to slip through her moist lips in an almost strangled cry. She hated herself. Her life. The life she seemed doomed to bring about. She punched at her stomach with another sob. "I can't do it....I can't have this baby." She repeated again through frightened tears. "That's what your mother said." Her head shot up at the sound and her tears evaporated to anger. "Who's there?" She snapped, struggling to bring her usual manner back out on demand. "You weren't planned Miss Parker." The voice was soft but firm as the elderly man stepped from behind the shadows. "Syd what the hell are you doing in my house?!" She hissed, her eyes still moist with tears. "More importantly what are you doing?" He asked. She had never seen Sydney with the look in his eyes he had now. The look that seemed to bore right through her, she was unable to escape it, it demanded an answer even more than the words. She opened her mouth to explain, but he nodded before she could. "I know." He whispered in response. Her vision blurred with tears again as she dropped her head to escape his= gaze. "I can't have this baby." Her voice was now barely audible above her soft sobbing. "I can't do it Sydney, I can't go through with this pregnancy." She looked up as her only hope seemed to come into view. "I'm going to have an abortion." Her voice seemed slightly stronger now. Sydney let out a sad laugh. "It's a good thing your mother diddn't go through with it when she made that threat." Her breath caught. "What the hell are you talking about?" "Like I said you weren't planned Miss Parker." He repeated. "I, I what are you talking about?" She asked softly. "I remember that same look on her face so long ago." He sat down on one of the lounge chairs. "I remember her coming and knocking on my door with= her eyes red and her cheeks tear stained." Miss Parker=92s eyes grew wide. "She came and sat down on one of my chairs and sobbed quietly. It must have been at least ten minutes before I could get her to talk." He swallowed hard. "She finally told me she was pregnant. Your father had told her that if she got pregnant he'd leave her. That children were not to be brought into his household, they were a waste of space. I remember the look of fear in her eyes. The miracle of life was her enemy. It was as if the torment and fear from it was eating her from the inside out. She hated that life inside her like it were a death sentence. She kept sobbing that she couldn't have that baby. That it would be the death of her." She all of a sudden began to feel sick, but this time it wasn't physical.= "Her eyes were wide when she told me what she saw her only option was. To Terminate the pregnancy." "My mother diddn't want me?" Miss Parker half asked, half stated. Sydney smiled. "She wanted you all right. She was scared though, scared for her life as much as yours. Then suddenly something seemed to click inside= her. I think she realized that this life inside her was just that, a life=2E A life that for some reason the greater power gave her to bring about." "Sydney they'll kill me if they know, if they find out..." Her voice trailed off. "Miss Parker I know Jarod's the father." He said softly. She nodded. "What would they do to the baby?" He took a deep breath. "Nothing. If they don't know whose it is." She lifted her head and stared up at him like a frightened child to her father. "Sydney I want this baby." He smiled and his eyes began to sparkle. "I know you do." * * * * Mr. Raines hit play as the tape repeated itself. "I know Jarod's the father." "I know Jarod's the father." He played over and over again. He inhaled another breath of oxygen. "It seems that it wont be long before the Centre has a new addition." He wheezed. * * * * Her legs ached from running. Her mind spun with confusion and her mouth was dry with fear. She could hear their voices behind her, screaming at her to stop. The alley was dark and the bins that littered it seemed to cast shadows that appeared to take on forms of their own. The ground crunched beneath her throbbing feet as the darkness before her= cleared to show a brick wall. She stopped for a second staring up at it. It was too high. There was no way out. She searched frantically for the bins or litter that were there moments ago but found none. She was trapped. It was too late. She felt a trickle of blood make its way down her forehead as her bruises gave a joint throb from the running.= The footsteps were approaching. All she could do it wait. Wait for her impending doom. "Dead or alive!" She heard a mans voice scream from the far end of her prison. She laid her trembling hand on her stomach and took a deep breath. They'd have to take her dead. As they neared her she charged for them. Hopeing they'd shoot. They did. She let out a final scream of pain as she tumbled to the ground in a heap=2E Her hand, still on her stomach. Her eyes flew open and she jerked into sitting position, her mouth dry. She fumbled with the lamp beside the bed as a dull light filled the room.= She struggled to take a deep breath and she closed her eyes to clear her head of the nightmare that had been imprinted in it moments before. She swallowed hard. She'd die for this life inside her. * * * * The elevator doors slid closed and Miss Parker let out a deep breath. She was feeling particularly emotional today. Maybe it was the hormones from her pregnancy, or maybe it was just fear. She closed her eyes for a moment to center her thoughts. She had to tell them today. Her father anyway. He'd be mad, mad that she was going to shame him with an illegitimate grandchild, but she hoped that's all he'd think it was. There was a soft beeping sound signaling she had arrived where she wanted, or rather had to, be. She stepped out into the large gray hall. It had windows all around, making up a great deal of the light in the hall, but somehow it still seemed dark. The carpet was a light gray and the walls a similar colour. It seemed empty except for the littered paintings that hung neatly from the smooth walls, bringing dashes of colour here and there. Keeping her head high she began to make her way towards the large door at= the other end of the hall. "May I help you?" A female voice queried from the desk outside. She had her hands perched above a typewriter, apparently in the middle of a letter. Her black hair was pulled back and she wore a crisp white shirt, a contrast to her dark skin. "Not at all, I'm here to see my father." She replied coolly as she continued up until the doors. They closed behind her almost menacingly. "Is there something you want to tell me?" Her fathers voice emerged as a low rumble from the away turned chair. He sat motionless, staring out the window. He seemed calm, calm like the eye of a storm. "What are you talking about?" Miss Parker asked softly, her confidence deserting her. "Is there anything you want to tell me?" He repeated, his voice stronger this time. "Daddy I'm pregnant." She blurted out, waiting for his response. He nodded. "Who's the father?" He asked as if he were a cat about to pounce, just toying with its prey. "A man I met at a bar, it was just a fling." She replied quietly. "How dare you lie to me." His voice seethed with anger, but he continued to look the other way. Her breath caught. "What are you talking about?" Slowly he reached into his desk and pulled out a small tape recorder. He laid it on the desk and pressed play with a steady hand. "I know Jarod's the father." It played clearly. She closed her eyes as a wave of emotion and anger passed over her. "Where did you get this?" "Mr. Raines had microphones installed in your house for your safety..." "For my safety? How dare you.." She hissed through clenched teeth. "No!" He yelled back, finally catching her gaze with angry eyes. "How dare *you*!" * * * * Sydney leaned back in his chair as the email icon disappeared signaling the sending of mail. He let out a deep breath and reached for the hot cup of coffee that had been delivered to him moments earlier. He raised it to his lips and took a large mouthful of the slightly bitter liquid. Replacing the cup on the table he swallowed quickly, trying to rid his mouth of the unpleasant taste that seemed to be lingering for an unusually long time. The door behind him opened as the all too familiar sound of a gas tank approached. He turned and smiled a false smile at the bald headed man who now stood before him. "Good morning Mr. Raines." In response he let out a wheezing cough. "It's not nice to keep things from eachother Sydney." His voice was low and raspy, and perhaps more menacing than Sydney could remember. "What are you talking about?" Sydney asked, just now noticing his breathing beginning to grow tight. "You knew about Miss Parker. Diddn't your mother ever teach you it's rude not to share?" He wheezed. Sydney squeezed his eyes shut as his vision blurred. Beads of sweat began to trickle down his forehead and he seemed to find it impossible to swallow. He opened his mouth, struggling to talk as he felt the last bit of air leave his lungs. His body went limp and slid off the chair onto the tiled floor. There was the sound of a gas tank being pulled away and on the desk sat a steaming cup of coffee. * * * * "You betrayed the Centre." Mr. Parker's speech continued. "You betrayed our trust and you betrayed everything you believe in." "If you don't mind I'll be the one to decide what I believe in, and don't you *dare* try to talk to me about loyalty or staying true to our beliefs, because as far as I can see you gave that up long ago." She snapped. He spun around to face her, slapping her hard across the face. She bit her lip, she couldn't say anything, couldn't give in. "What do you want to do, kill me?" She mumbled finally, as the sting from the blow continued to settle in. "On the contray." Her father shook his head. "We want you very much alive, you, that is, and the baby." * * * * "You diddn't want me did you?" Her voice was now soft, though not hopeless, she wouldn't let it be. Mr. Parker shook his head. "I don't like the thought of children being brought into a life like this." "You create this life." "I know." He nodded. "We all do what we do for a reason." "What's yours?" Miss Parker asked softly. "I don't believe that's of relevance." He replied, his voice tight. For a moment the room was silent. "What will become of me?" She asked finally. Mr. Parker seemed uncomfortable. "I'm your daughter daddy." She added through clenched teeth. "Yes you are." He took a deep breath. "But you're also going to give birth to what could possibly be the most brilliant child to ever enter the Centre." "Who said I was intending to give my child to The Centre?" She asked incredulously. "Some things aren't decided by choice." * * * * "We're taking you into the doctor for a checkup." The young man explained as he guided Miss Parker out into the hall. "Why don't you bring him here?" She asked shaking his hand off her arm. He grabbed hold of her again. "I follow orders." She took a sharp intake of breath as a stretcher was carried past. The body was covered with a sheet and on the top sat a folder reading who the casualty was. "My God." She gasped softly, closing her eyes as a tear made its way down her cheek. "Sydney what did they do to you?" * * * * The van came to a slow stop and Mr. Parker turned to face her. "You know the rules." He nodded at her condescendingly as he opened the door for her. She stepped out into the crisp evening air and took a deep breath as a sweeper came to stand beside her. "There's a problem with that." She explained calmly. "What's that?" He asked curiously, climbing out of the van himself. She took a swing and punched him hard, knocking him back against the side of the van. "I don't follow rules!" She hissed. She felt a crushing pain on her arm as the sweeper grabbed her and swung her to face him. She raised her leg quickly and kneed him in the groin as she felt a sharp punch strike her head, knocking her down hard. She gave a final kick, getting to her aching legs. She turned and ran as fast as she could, she diddn't know where to go, she just had to get away. Her legs ached from running but she couldn't stop, she knew they were following her. She took a sharp turn and darted into an alley. Bins littered it's walls and shadows seemed to stretch from nothing. She felt a strange feeling of forbodeing sweep over her. A strangely sickening feeling of dajavu. Trying to ignore it she continued to push herself, running as fast as she could as a trickle of blood made its way down her forehead. "Dead or alive!" She heard screamed from behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut fighting back hopeless tears as a tall brick wall came into view. There was no way out. "I don't want to die." She croaked as hot tears filled her eyes. All of the sudden a gentle voice cut through the silence. "Over here quickly!" Arms stretched down from the top of the wall able to reach her. Without even thinking she stretched her arms to meet them, still sobbing as she was pulled to safety. "Jarod!" She whispered through trembling tears as he hushed her and guided her to a beaten up wooden door. He pulled it open and pushed her inside and up a flight of stairs to a small room. The door was donned with several locks and in the corner sat an old couch that looked as though it had recently been used as a bed. The room was painted light green and the bright light from the streetlights was broken up by old lace curtains that hung lethargically from old steel poles. He flipped on a light switch filling the room with a yellowish glow. He turned to face her and held out his arms as she fell into them, sobbing quietly. He guided her over to the couch and sat back on her with her still in his arms. Her head was rested against his chest and he was cradling her head reassuringly, rocking slowly. Neither of them spoke. They diddn't have to=2E * * * * Slowly she lifted her head off his chest and raised her eyes to meet his. Her eyes were red with tears and where darkened with a line of running mascara. Her previously styled hair was disheveled and hung weakly over her eyes, some of it sticking to her forehead in the drying pool of blood that continued to seep from the small cut donning her temple. He lifted her head with his hands, cupping her cheek gently. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, taking her trembling hand in his. "How did you," she swallowed back more tears. "How did you know? How did you know I'm pregnant? How did you know I'd be here?" "I don't know how I knew you'd be here, I just did." He smiled kissing her forehead softly. But as for you being pregnant,Sydney emailed me." She raised her head quickly as her eyes filled with tears again. "Sydney's gone." She whispered, her voice trembling. "He's gone. They killed him." Jarod nodded, his dark eyes clouding. "I know." He pulled her to him again holding her as they both cried. As tears continued to stream down her face she lifted her head and kissed him softly, half seeking reassurance for herself, half offering it to him=2E His lips were salty from tears but none the less he responded to the kiss as she did, both surprised as their sadness began to ebb away in place of desire. He slid closer to her, pulling her to him as his hands caressed her rumpled hair. Their kiss grew like fire as she pushed him back against the mattress, sliding on top of him. She let out a soft moan as his hands began a journey of exploration and as evening turned to night they made love, for themselves, for eachother and for the life their passion helped to create. * * * * A long while later he took a deep breath. "Run away." He whispered, "Run as far as you can. Run so they can't find you." She shook her head, her hand still caressing his chest gently. "I can run, but I can't hide." "You can't stay." He lifted his head worriedly. "Heavens knows what they'll do to the baby." He raised his eyebrows. "Or you." She shook her head. "They can't do anything to me. Not if I'm dead." * * * * Sam scanned the rooftop of the building one more time. They had the whole block sealed off. There was no escape. He yawned. 7:00am. His hopes of them emerging any time soon seemed to be growing slim. Truth was he diddn't even know if this is where they went in the first place. There was a loud creaking sound as the door at the opposite end of the rooftop creaked open slowly. Miss Parker stepped out into the crisp air and began walking briskly to what she seemed to think was an escape root. Without warning he jumped out from where he'd been sitting, his gun poised at her. "Freeze!" He yelled tensely. She turned to look at him for a moment then began to run in the opposite direction. He would shoot her if he had to. Alive was only a preferable. "I said freeze!" He ordered again, worry seeping into his voice as she not only refused to listen, but made a beeline for the ledge. "Stop!!" He screamed one last time as she came to the edge, took a deep breath and jumped. He cursed silently, running to where she previously stood and looking down. On the footpath below lay a bloodied body, red hair covering it's face. "Oh my God." He shook his head disbelievingly at the lifeless body of his chasee. He stepped back quickly and made a dash for the elevator, he diddn't know what the point of going down there was, but he had to anyway. The silver doors slid closed as he hit the small round button signaling the ground floor. The elevator began a painfully slow decent. * * * * He pushed past the opening doors, barely waiting till the elevator had stopped moving. He shoved the glass door of the building open and pushed past the growing crowd. By this time the scene was filled with flashing lights emerging from several police cars and an ambulance van. Two ambulance officers slowly lifted a stretcher off the reddened ground. The body on it lay motionless, covered with a white sheet. He stood silent for a moment, not wanting to seem too conspicuous. Finally he called to one of the policemen. "What happened here?" He shouted, his face barely lit in the growing daylight. The blond officer shook his head. "A jumper I'm afraid, tragic when young people find life so hopeless." He nodded. "Is she okay?" He diddn't need an answer, but had to ask anyway. The man shook his head. "She was killed on impact. Now I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to clear the scene." The ambulance doors closed softly. * * * * Seven and a Half months later..... Miss Parker May You Rest In Eternal Peace. The words were carved deep into the plaque that sat at the top of the grave. Beside the writing was carved a small angel holding a child. Next to the plaque grew several types of flowers bringing colour to the tragic looking gray stone. The red haired lady knelt down and ran her fingers over the engraved writing, placing a yellow bunch of flowers there herself. Yellow, for joy. The morning of her "death" was still fresh in her mind. It had taken planning, even with Jarod involved. She had to admit though that him working in the Ambulance and Police departments had come in handy more than she could have imagined at the time. She smiled to herself a small smile and allowed her hand to come to rest on her heavily pregnant stomach. Suddenly she felt a gush of water pour down her legs and a sharp pain in her lower abdomen. "Oh ho." She gasped painfully, doubling over. "Oh my!" The words came from an elderly lady obviously paying respects to a relitative nearby. "Let me help you!" The woman smiled stretching her arm out for support as she lead Miss Parker to the passenger side of her old model car. She let out a deep breath and rested her head back against the seat as the remainder of the contraction ebbed away. "Thank you." She smiled warmly at the elder woman. "My pleasure." She chuckled. "I'm Jane." Miss Parker smiled and continued with the formalities. The lady raised her eyebrows. "Miss Parker?" She repeated back. "I know this way seem odd me asking, but, wasn=92t that the name on the headstone back there?" The car pulled into the flow of traffic. Miss Parker laughed silently. "Believe me, it's a very long story." * * * * "Aaauuuggghhh.." She gave a painful moan at the beginning of yet another contraction. "I want a doctor! Give me a doctor!!" She screamed angrily, grasping onto the metal sides of the hospital bed for dear life. "Now Miss, don't worry. We have our best doctor coming your way in just a moment." The young nurse assured calmly. She let her head drop back against the pillows, her brow soaked with sweat. "No, I want a doctor now!" The doors swung open and in stepped a man in a doctors uniform. He appeared to be in his mid thirties and he had medium brown hair, and warm dark eyes. He smiled, removing his Mask. The nurse smiled. "Miss Parker this is Dr. Jarod Russell." THE END