By Bob Hutchinson (aka UCSBDad)
from an idea by Dastardly
Copyright 2000

Author's Note:

Dastardly, in post number 24216 suggests an alternate reaction by John to Aeryn's "jealousy." He suggested I could use this in a fanfic, so here it is.

"... and play with your little trelk." Aeryn turns away from John and the rest, lights the welding torch and starts to work on her Prowler.

John turns and comes up behind Aeryn and puts his arms around her. Aeryn is very careful not to react to him. John leans close and whispers in her ear. "Don't be like that, Aeryn. You know you're my favorite little trelk." Before Aeryn can react, John slaps her on the butt and runs. Aeryn, screaming words that the translator microbes can't handle is in hot pursuit. John makes it to Farscape 1 and blasts out of Moya and into space. Aeryn turns back to her Prowler and is soon after John.

John spots a likely sun ahead and does the slingshot maneuver. There it is: A wormhole. John shoots through, but Aeryn is right behind him. John goes screaming through space/time with an enraged Sebacean right behind him. John zooms over the deserts of Tatooine with Aeryn on his six. Only the fortuitous appearance of the Millennium Falcon causes Aeryn to do a split -S and temporarily lose John. But she's right back on our Favorite Rocket Jockey.

John rips through a series of alternate Universes, but can't shake Aeryn. He comes close by doing a Cuban 8 over Barsoom, but Aeryn is onto his tricks. The Beloved Raven Goddess is not to be denied.

John roars by the USS Enterprise at Warp 12, temporarily distracting Captain James Tiberius Kirk from the alien chick of the week. John screams as he goes by, "Wanna drag?"

Twisting space/time, John almost arrives at the transport pod caught in the Flax in time to save himself from dying from the kill shot. "No way," he thinks, "Aeryn may have a little temper, but can she kiss."

John finds himself on a desert planet just as an eclipse starts. "Whoa, Aeryn and I have got to get out of here." He grabs Aeryn and flees to the next dimension. Somehow, he finds he has saved two beautiful dark haired women. "Deja vu," thinks John.

Momentarily, human and Sebacean share a grassy knoll in Dallas, causing much confusion later. When they leave Dallas, John finds himself in the Prowler chasing Aeryn in Farscape 1. "Curse you, Red Baron, " he yells.

Suddenly, he is arm wrestling with Aeryn in Quark's Bar, and just as quickly, he's dancing with her in Harry's Bar while Papa asks about their adventures and takes notes. "I shot Scorpius with the Mannlicher. It was good," says Aeryn.

Suddenly the Prowler and Farscape pass a small white module at trans-light speeds, causing it's oxygen to overheat and explode. John yells as he roars by, "Sure. I create the whole scenario and you cast Tom Frelling Hanks in the lead."

John, long hair swinging, face painted and dressed in bell bottoms, slides his arms around Aeryn's waist and pulls her into a long, slow kiss. "I just love Janis Joplin, don't you, Sunshine?" Aeryn just giggles and kisses back.

Finally, John is at the beginning of time, in the great primordial Soup of Creation before the Big Bang. A familiar arm slides around his waist and Aeryn slaps him on the butt. She whispers to him, "And you know you're my favorite little trelk, Stud Muffin. Now let's quit fooling around and have some fun."