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Out of Gas
M=Mal, B=Book, I=Inara, J=Jayne, K=Kaylee, R=River, S=Simon, W=Wash, Z=Zoe
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M: A ship like this will be with you until the day you die.
Z: That's because it's a death trap.
M: Try and see past what she is, to what she can be.
Z: What's that, sir?
M: Freedom, that's what.
Z: I meant, what's that?
M: Oh. Yeah, just step around that. I think something must have been living in here.
Z: "Get her running again?"
M: Yeah.
Z: So, not running now?
M: Not so much.
W: Monastic humor -- I miss out on all the fun. And all the food, apparently.
Z: Just who do you think you're married to? [hands him a plate of food] Voila!
W: I love my wife.
J: Now Inara, she's gotta have some funny whorin' stories, I venture.
I: Oh, do I ever. Funny and sexy -- you have no idea. And you never will.
S: How did you know? River, did you--?
R: "Day" is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable.
[everyone looks at her]
R: I didn't get you anything.
M: Seems a fresh warrant for your arrest came up on the cortex. Had your birth date attached right to it.
W: I'm not leaving her side, Mal! Don't ask again.
M: I wasn't asking. I was telling.
Z: Something about him bothers me.
M: What about him bothers you?
Z: I'm not sure. It's... something.
M: Well, your something comes up against a list of recommendations as long as my leg. Tanaka raves about this guy, Renshaw's been trying to get him on his crew for a month. And we need us a pilot.
Z: I understand, sir. He bothers me.
M: Okay, I need that in Captain-Dummy Talk, Kaylee.
I: I love this ship. I have from the first moment I saw it.
S: I just don't want to die on it.
I: I don't want to die at all.
R: Don't be afraid. That's what it says, don't be afraid.
B: Yes.
R: But you are afraid. You're afraid we're going to run out of air, that we'll die gasping. But we won't -- that's not going to happen. We'll freeze to death first.
M: Wave your arms around, jump up and down, divert the navsats to the transmitter, whatever.
W: Divert the navsats to-- Right! Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die!
W: Even if some passerby did happen to receive it, all it would do is muck up their navigation.
M: Could be that's true.
W: Damn right it's true! They'd be forced to stop and dig out our signal before they could even go anyplace.
M: [gives him a 'think about it' stare]
W: Well, maybe I should do that, then!
M: Maybe you should!
W: Okay!
M: Good!
W: Fine!
J: What do you two think you're doing, fighting at a time like this? You're going to use up all the air.
M: When we landed, you said you need a few days to get us spaceworthy again and is there something wrong with your bunk?
Bester: What?
M: [eloquent look at Kaylee getting dressed]
Bester: Oh... No, Captain. She likes engines. They make her hot.
K: Grav boot ain't your trouble. I seen the trouble plain as day when I was down there on my back before.
Bester: Mal, what do you need two mechanics for?
M: I really don't.
J: Jayne'll be worth something if you run into trouble, but don't trust him, and don't let him take over. You're paid up through the end of the month, this is still your ship.
I: Mal--
J: As far as your security deposit goes, that I might have to owe you.
M: If it's Alliance trouble you got, you might want to consider another ship. Some onboard here fought for the Independents.
I: The Alliance has no quarrel with me. I supported Unification.
M: Did ya? Well, i don't suppose you're the only whore that did.
I: Oh, one further addendum -- that's the last time you get to call me "whore".
M: Absolutely. Never again.
I: Mal, you don't have to die alone.
M: Everybody dies alone.
Captain: Catalyzer's a nothing part, captain.
M: It's nothing until you don't got one. Then it appears to be everything.
M: Which one you figure tracked us?
Z: The ugly one, sir.
M: Could you be more specific?
M: Well, looks can be deceiving.
J: Not as deceiving as a low-down, dirty... deceiver.
M: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?
Z: Had a kind of poetry to it, sir.
J: Tell us where the cargo is so I can shoot you.
M: Point of interest? Offering to shoot us might not work so well as an incentive as you might imagine.
M: Let's say you did kill us -- or didn't. There could be torture, whatever. Anyhow--
J: Seven percent's standard.
M: Okay. Zoe, I'm paying you too much.
Captain: You would have done the same.
M: We can already see I haven't. Now get the hell off my ship.
J: We'd have been back first, but there's something wrong with Inara's shuttle. She's done something to it, Mal. Smells funny.
I: I told you, that's incense.
J: So you say.