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The Train Job
M=Mal, B=Book, I=Inara, J=Jayne, K=Kaylee, R=River, S=Simon, W=Wash, Z=ZoeD=Drunk, N=Niska, Sh=Sheriff
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D: I'm thinking you're one of them Independents.
M: And I'm thinking you weren't overburdened with schooling. So why don't we both ignore each other until we go away.
M: Say that to my face.
D: I said, you're a coward and a pisspot. Now what do you want to do about that?
M: Nothing. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you.
J: Hey, I didn't fight in no war. Best of luck, though.
M: Wash? We got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss.
M: Is Jayne even awake?
M: This is why we lost, you know. Superior numbers.
Z: Thanks for the reenactment, sir.
W: Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.
J: Damn yokels can't even tell a transport freighter ain't got no guns on it.
K: So, what happpened? Was there a terrible brawl?
Z: Oddly enough, there was.
W: Are you getting my wife into trouble?
M: What? I didn't start it! I just wanted a quiet drink.
Z: Funny, sir, how you always seem to find yourself in an Alliance-friendly bar come U-Day, looking for a quiet drink.
M: See, this is another sign of your tragic space dementia, all paranoid and crotchety. It breaks the heart.
M: They tell you never hit a man with a closed fist, but it is, on occasion, hilarious.
R: Mal. Bad. In the Latin.
B: That young man's very brave.
M: Yeah. He's my hero.
M: If I'm your mission, shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't.
I: You have such lovely hair. I'm sure the doctor would agree.
K: Who, Simon? No, he's too... I'm just... Do you think it would look better up?
I: We could experiment. We might even get wild later and wash your face.
I: There's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide. You try to feel that--
M: And then you try to feel the energy around their credit account. It has a sort of aura...
I: What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?
M: That it was manly and impulsive?
I: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, "Don't."
M: Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Was it monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?
M: You're servicing crew now?
I: In your lonely and pathetic dreams.
N: You do not like I kill this man?
M: Oh, no. I'm sure he... was a very bad person.
N: My wife's nephew. At dinner I am getting earful. There is no way out of that.
Z: He's a psycho, you know. Niska.
M: Well, he's not the first psycho to hire us. Nor the last. You think that's a commentary on us?
Z: I just have an image in my head of a guy hanging from the ceiling.
M: I got an image of it not being me. Let's do the thing.
I: You could always pray they make it back safely.
B: I don't think the captain would much like me praying for him.
I: So don't tell him. I never do.
Z: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.
M: This job, I would pull for free.
Z: Then can I have your share?
M: No.
Z: If you die, can I have your share?
M: Yes.
S: So... what are we doing?
K: Oh! Crime.
S: Crime. Good.
J: Captain ain't around, that means I'm in charge.
K: Since when?
J: These are stone killers, little man. They're not cuddly like me.
R: They won't stop. They'll never stop. They'll just keep coming until they get back what you took. Two by two, hands of blue. Two by two, hands of blue...
M: Whatever happens, remember I love you.
Z: Sir?
M: Because you're my wife.
Z: Right, sir. Honey.
M: That sounds like the Alliance. Unite everyone under one rule, so everybody can be interfered with or ignored equally.
J: You know what the chain of command is? That's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here.
W: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?
S: I told him to sit down.
K: You doped him.
S: It was supposed to kick in a good deal sooner. I-I just didn't feel comfortable with him in charge. I hope that's all right.
I: Zoe. What would your husband say if he knew you were here?
Z: I... I was weak.
Sh: His story had kind of an odor to it.
I: Yes. It's not the only thing about him that does.
M: Nice shot.
J: I was aiming for his head.
Sh: You were truthful back in town -- these are tough times. A man can get a job, he might not look too close at what that job is. But a man learns all the details of a situation like ours.... well, then he has a choice.
M: I don't believe he does.
M: We're not thieves. Well, we are thieves, but we're not taking what's his.