Do Vampires Dream of Electric Goldfish

by Abby Albrecht
Copyright 1997

Okay after all this talk of Spike and everyone's favorite other Spike (the fish), I had a weird daydream...

Darkness engulfed the empty football field. Spike, Drusilla, Claudius anda number of other vampires lounged on the bleachers, watching the starspass over their heads as their dinners decomposed on the field below them.Spike had to admit to himself, freshman cheerleader sure did have a niceboquet -- even if they hadn't been virgins in a long time.

"So, Spike. Tell us again how you got your name." Claudius drawled in aSouthern Grecian way that only people who've experienced way too much cando.

The dye-job vampire smiled, reveling in the relative fame he received fromhis memorable name. He spent the next ten minutes explaining how he lovesto toture mortals with railroad spikes, and how the sound of the peoplebegging for their lives fed a hunger no blood could.

"But Spike..." Drusilla started.


"So perfect!"

"Great idea!" The vampires said admiringly.

"That's not how you got your name," The strange vampiress continued.

Looking slightly worried Spike said, "Yes it is my lovely. You were there.Remember all the fun we had spiking people in Budapest?"

"Spike, you chose your name in Toronto. When we were visiting that oldguy." Drusilla looked at him, confused. "Spike was the name of his fishy.You liked that little pretty fishy so much..."

"What?" Claudius started laughing. "You're named after a fish!"

"Hey! I happen to like that gold fish!" Spike stated emphatically as hegot up.


I blame Indiana Jones for that. Sorry.

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