I really should beg forgiveness for this one -- or be staked at dawn with a piece of wood soaked in garlic holy water... *g* With apologies and burnt offerings to Clement Clarke Moore.
Dedicated to anyone who is happy that rerun hell is ALMOST OVER!!!!
'Twas the night before Buffy, and all through the region
Not a creature was stirring, not even a demon.
The VCRs were all programmed with care
In the hopes that St. Giles soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of vampires danced in their heads.
And Joyce in her kerchief and Hank in his cap
Were just waking up from a long summer nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my computer to see what was the matter.
Away to the Windows I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash...
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature Slayer, and five Slayerettes!
With a British librarian so stuffy and guiless.
I knew in a moment it must be St. Giles.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name
"Now, Amy, now Catherine, now Kyle and Darla!
On Master, on Marci, on Spike and Drucilla!
"To the top of the roof, to the top of the wall
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all."
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew
With a sleigh full of kids, and St. Giles too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the veranda
The squabbling and arguing of each young member.
As I drew in my head and was turning around
In through the door St. Giles came with a crowd.
He was dressed all in tweed, from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with library paste and dust.
And a Slayer came with him, followed by five Slayerettes.
For a vampire was here, and I wasn't laying any bets.
His eyes -- how yellow-gleamed! His fangs, how shiny!
His cheeks were like tombstones, his nose a trifle bony!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow.
Waiting to taste the blood of the inhabitants below.
The length of a stake she held tight in her hand
While Xander and Angel gave her backup in their band.
She had a fancy hairdo and a tight little skirt
That amazingly went nowhere, no matter the work.
She was intense and scary, a right capable young Slayer.
And I shivered when I saw her, not wanting to be a player.
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
She spoke not a work but went straight to her work.
And staked that vampire, then turned with a jerk.
And linking arms with her Slayerettes,
And giving a nod, out the door they went.
She sprang to Cordy's Beemer, claiming shotgun
And away they all flew like vampires from the sun.
But I heard her exclaim ere they drove out of sight --
"Happy Buffy to all, and to all a fright night!"
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