MediaWest 21 -- Horsechicks Quote List

About half of SunS converged on Lansing, Michigan for the annual Pilgrimage to Media Mecca. There was role-playing, vids (and the entailed disasters), dealing, jewelry making, eating of Chinese food, watching and mocking of bad TV for the sake of guest stars (Michael Shanks on Andromeda and Peter Wingfield on Queen of Swords), live-action role-playing (leading to some scary cross-over places, since half of the participants were also in Forces of Empire, a Star Wars LARP), and the usual suspects got into the usual amounts of trouble.... Mild profanity warning (not *nearly* as bad as usual!), and once again, my name wound up plastered all over the damn thing!

SunS Participants: Dawn, Dianne, Julie, Kiki, Lizbet, Lynn, Perri, Tina, Valerie (with contributions from various members of the NatPack; you lose track after the first few days without sleep)

Non-SunS Participants: Adam, Heather, John, Kevin, Mark, everyone else involved in the "Unchained Twilight" Buffy LARP (who are, at the very least, guilty by association), and several random bystanders who happened to be funny in earshot of someone with a pen and paper.

Cleavage floof!

Beware! My spit is now lethal!

I'm so glad I got my religion *before* I discovered slash.

Adam, can you be the remote?
I get to be Remote Guy.

I love you and your twisted little mind.

That should have freaked them sufficiently.

D'Argo's sound is off from his video.

I'm just going to charge admission. 'Get your threesome here!'

Can you hold on a second, hon? I'm quoting on your chair.
Quote that, too.
On someone else's chair.

I only downloaded the first half. Of course, the smut started in the second half. Just kill me.

I was looking across the table and Perri was having a silent orgasm.
At least there's no bondage yet.
But there could be...

Don't you love having your name taken in vain?

Josh Lyman in tights... Oh my.

Oh my god! Your pudding is invading your Jell-O!

Ethan comes pre-bruised for Buffy's convenience.

Okay, trying to get cleavage here.
Get pregnant.

Lindsey broke my printer.... Why does that sound like Dingos Ate My Baby?
Because it's very early.

I was watching 'The Body' from behind many antlers.

Well, you won't be alone tonight.
Well, not in *that* outfit you won't!

Excuse me, I apparently had wild, intemperate sex during the night.

Basically, the steering wheel was trying to enter my womb.
Immaculate steering wheel conception.

The Donner Party of MediaWest.

I need coffee!
Why are you looking at me?
Because your hair is brown and it looks like coffee!
//long step back//

And Perri's stuffing the quote list down her bra. [Ed: Was not!]

And all talking ceases when the quote list hits the table.

We are highly educated in our obscene hand gestures.

~I'm too sexy for my bodice lace...~

You guys are both decent, right? By modern standards?

It's the vastness of space... with creases.
It's a wrinkle in time.

An American has never sucked on my watch and I'm not gonna start now.

I'm torn between looking like Mickey Mouse and looking rather phallic.


Unchained Twilight Live-Action Role-Play Game

Angel falling over from heat prostration would not be a good thing.
He's a vampire, not a Sebacean.

What are you doing to my snake?

And she's wigging out on us...

My friend Adrian has been trying to get me to watch anime for the past three years. I don't want to get addicted.
You don't have to be addicted, you just have to come hang out.

I just dropped a bobby pin through my cleavage.
A body?
A bobby pin.
I don't know, you could fit a body through those...

Anya, go get a snake!
Giles, should she be going out there alone?
...Faith, go with her.
Oh, like *that's* an improvement...

[as Anya] I dress very well. Very professionally. I want a snake.

[as Faith] Dude, I *am* insane, and I need a poisonous snake. You can call the police tomorrow.

I am not here. I am a floating amorphous presence which is a storyteller and I'm just watching.

You saw her run off with Xander. With a very bruised, bloody Xander.
[as Faith] And it wasn't me this time!

I love watching Giles and Faith dope-smack each other.

I get to be condescending again! Yay!

Everything about Tina is normal.

Oh my god! Giles, why are you shoving your ass in Tara's face?

You're supposed to suck blood, not draw it. If you have to use pencils, it's no fun.

Willow's an alien!
Give her another [antenna] and she'll be my favorite martian.

Vampire unicorn!

You're not acquainted with 'The Scarlet Pimpernel', are you?
You poor bastard.

I pulled the whip out of my cleavage.
Well, that's always good.

I will *find* some way to grab your bottom lip!
I'll find your goddamned processing unit!
And I'll ram it up your CPU!

I've read that fanfic.
[chorus] You *wrote* that fanfic!

So, I need to beat up this Low-key guy, right? I think with a name like that, I can take him.

You look different with more cleavage.

We have to take the scissors away from Giles *already*?

Buffy came back from hell or L.A. or wherever she was.
And she brought cookies!

Okay, living people on the left, dead on the right.

Drusilla needs a moment to de-chipmunk if you don't mind.

We're all going to be very good friends by the time this photoshoot is over.
Or something...

These aren't the vampires you're looking for. Move along. Move along.

The impotent vampire! Awesome!

Which isn't as perverted as it sounds in Sunnydale....

You did great, Dawn! Well, except for freeing the Fenris wolf, you did great!

It was a pink chihuahua! I didn't think it would do any harm.

Angel, Darla got the power of The Wish and can control you!
*Now* you tell me!
Well, you yell at me when I interrupt fights!
But this was important! Why didn't you interrupt me?
Because you would have yelled at me!

Oh, it's you. What *did* happen to your hair?
Look who's talking. Guess you haven't looked... No, I don't guess you *have* looked in a mirror lately.

Oh, that feels really good.... Who is that?
Evil Willow.
... Would you. Please. Stop?

Don't eat the Watcher, honey. We need him.

Giles has got to get all of the women. That's the show.

And Giles takes everyone to Disneyland!

I think we're becoming sarcasm-impaired at this point.

I'm sorry I missed what you two were trying to do to each other. I'm sure it would make an interesting video.

Lovely to meet you, lovely to be staked by you.

Having done the LARPs with fen, it is now time to collapse with fen.


I can do [the quilt] when I feel stupid... bite your tongue harder, woman!

She paid a woman to rub her butt.
And I *liked* it!

Of all people, Lord Arcturus has been smiley faced!
Oh, kiss my smiley face.

There's implied Peter nudity.
You can fill in the blanks.

They suck rotten tribbles through a twisty straw.

So it's pet trauma, not tribble trauma.

The really great thing about this con is that it runs on Pacific time.

Perri munchie quilt.

I should have let her get away from Angel. She was well-perforated; less wind resistance.

I'm going to be murdered in my sleep.
Who's waiting for sleep?

We are not moist-towelletting my cleavage.

Everyone's been booping me all day,
That sounds so wrong -- like you should have been earning a lot more money.

My cheesecake... giggles.

It's a middle-of-the-day outside wedding. No vampires.
I don't know; if it snowed, it might be all right.
On Labor Day, the most magical holiday of the year!
I'm dreaming of a white Labor Day?

Does he need to be reminded he's not the son of a god anymore?

If Kevin Smith ever guest stars, everyone's head is going to explode.

I am officially in love. Come here, baby, I'll teach you about procreation!

He could give her a computer virus. [Ed. This was funnier before he actually did. ]

There was naked Michael and you didn't share!

A binary butt!

And all at once all the food replicators started spouting whipped cream.

So, the ships have been having sex?
Is that how they get shuttlecraft?

No, this is a good thing, because the stomach has been undecided about whether it's going to throw up or not and that may decide it.

It's the Mantilla of Invisibility. She gets two extra traits if she uses it... I have to stop this.
That's okay -- Jack calls it the Eye Bra.

[as Col. Montoya] How do I fake this regret without showing it? Ah, no problem, she's not very bright.

[as Col. Montoya, brandishing a dragon-head katana] Look! I stole this off of a Scottish guy!

Every time, I hear, 'Where can I find the pandas?'
Vicious attack pandas.
What is the name of the pandas who killed my master?
The pandas mock Montoya!
[Ed. It was very late and a particularly dreadful episode. Forgive us]

At least I believe *those* masks!

The pandas are coming!
One if by land, two if by tree...

The gods mock the Horsechicks, and will regret mocking the Horsechicks.
Remember -- Ares used to have more hair...

The giggles of Chaos!

You shot the panda!
You bastard!

Sexual harassment panda?
He was arrested for panda-ing.

If Tessa walks in on this, she's gonna have a *herd* of cows....
...Populating the Spanish countryside!

Look, it's a Methos puddle!

Look, I have waxed my armpits!

I didn't know pandas had lips.
Of course pandas have lips; otherwise the bamboo would fall off.

Hummingbird-ostrich hybrid!

Was he shot while trying to escape or did he commit suicide? We haven't decided.
Which one did we decide last time?
He was shot while trying to escape so that he could commit suicide.

Was it orgasm or was it gas?

Okay, we've got the early stages of estrogen poisoning here.

I'm saying "Um" because I can't say anything else... I love you guys.

Okay, hotel rooms are not supposed to cha-cha-cha.

Cold thing on forehead good.
Okay, nobody comment, Val has to get better.
Don't share, Dee! Don't share!

Banshee breakage bad.
But extremely alliterative.
Banshees just leak.
They turn into bagpipes?

Let's rewind and watch Peter walking!
How pathetic are we?

No, I'm going to tie you up in an embarrassing position and leave you for the public to see.
[chorus] Ooooooo.....

"What are you going to do if someone shows up?"
[as Tessa] I am going to pull out my whip and do my CatWoman impression.

[shaking head] I'm sorry, did I miss anything?
Only the past 20 minutes.
Class works much better when you're not in a fugue state.

"Montoya lied to you."
[as twit guest star] Oh, *that's* what they all meant when they said Montoya lied to me!

[as Col. Montoya] Two chicks with swords. I'm going to make snarky comments, order the guards to kill them, and then leave.

If you could chop off Kiki's arms and put them in the quote list, you could quote that.

It's not a sword, it's a... stabber thing.

[as Col. Montoya] Who is the Queen of Swords?
I'm sorry, man, she pays the electric bills for the guitar, I cannot tell you!

And the cow goes, "Groo!"

Her tongue matches her dress. Now *that's* accessorizing!

Raise your hand if you want to be woken up to mock stupid Keanu dude. Okay, Perri.

Jonathan's not a real Jonathan anymore because he's... Jonathan.
There was no part of that that made sense.

I know when you said 'for better or for worse', you knew it included occasional possession by imaginary people, but...

There's a bomb threat! Grab the zines!

I'm sorry, Lizbet. I have to throw you over for my fiance.

She is not NatPack. Her boobs are NatPack.

Perri-noia: fear that if you look at one of Perri's websites, you'll lose your soul.

Have you hugged your water buffalo today?

No, Anya, we don't *bunt* in this situation!

Hey, hon? Did you know this car can do 100?

What could be weirder than a giant Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man?
That pretty much maxes out my weird-o-meter.
The only thing weirder would be a Goa'uld-infected Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

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