The Roomie Con Quote List

SunS Perpetrators: Beth, Celli, Lizbet, Mary Beth

And now that Lizbet is done imitating the black guy from Police Academy...

Tony Starke with his butt in the air...and then I have to talk?

Try not to pick up any strange men, they're going to try to pay you.

She's biting the phone. She sorta looks like a dog with a bone.

This is the bus that's going to sell you into white slavery.

Hey! We came here to get away from those accusations.

I just went four different places with that and none of them were clean.

To your left are the beautiful something mountains.

The rest of you I'll take care of, your ass you're on your own.

Have I mentioned that we've been up since 3 am? Have I mentioned that we've been up since 3 am? Have I mentioned that we've been up since 3 am?...

I listen to this song and think, Sting, you've been divorced for ten years. Get over it.

The often squid?

This is either Celli's new hair color, or the Grand Canyon.

And wow, I made everybody go spuh. And not in a good way.

I have instant quote replay.

You can't quote that, it doesn't make sense.

My God, we're already becoming interchangeable.

There's a fine line between insulting someone's family with them and finding yourself on the ground with a knee in your back.

See, when you use logic I just don't know what to do with you.

California is very fuzzy. California is very clear. California is very fuzzy. California is very clear.

You always have a sledgehammer approach to vacations.

There's a knock knock knock between the tap tap tap and the thud thud thud.

So it could cover registering onsite or birthing a cow.

I'm trying to tell a story that humiliates you...Shut up!

The ones in my stomach are lonely too.

A plague on both your pizzas!

Lizbet, quit while you're behind.

Why are you singing the Marseilles?

You'll be getting up at 5 am our time, stripping naked, painting yourselves green and purple spots and run screaming through traffic.

Now it smells like a litterbox made of lemons.

I have to play the tape before the phone call or the point is pointless.

I can't make the phone call with you people staring at me.
We weren't even looking.
That's not the point.

She's telling him about the cat.
She's making small talk.
Well, it's a very small cat.

I have to get the ringer off the phone.
You have to get the "ringer" for Gillian Anderson off the phone.

Now All Hand Wash In-Out Service Center. All I did was read the sign. That's all I did.

How many big ugly ducks are there in your life?

I thought she was quoting a past duck, not a current duck.

Me. Fall. Floor. Boom.

It's pointing at Celli, what does that mean?

Don't do that, I'm naked.

You just got brand new cat, an e-mail account and an agent for your scripts. What are you going to do now?
I'm sending my friends to Disneyland.

I sat on it. It was very comfortable.

Did he not like it when the fork contaminated the sugar?

At least I didn't say go fork yourself.

I don't have to tell you this story. I can be quiet if you want to sit there and play with your eyebrows.

He's back, he's naked, and you find yourself strangely attracted to him.

Then there's the part where we give the nice man some money.

Now you know they're Horsechicks, they're messing with the waiter.

Don't you think he'd get a little cramped in there?


Go for the throat, there's no tongue there.

Perhaps I was the only one in that dimension at that time.

She's not satisfied with having a cat, she has to pet me.
You love it, remember?

I'm not licking that up.

I'll have you know that I've been on TV and they managed to get me just fine.

Down came the good fairy, and she said < unintelligible dolphin sound >.

You snort also?

How do you quote a knife cutting personal space?

Do you normally have people under your table when you eat?

So we get a cameraman who knows jujitsu.

You know, her lips seem to be growing like a duck bill.

Write down everything you just said.

You can't see me! You can't see me!
Yes we can, you just have a napkin over your head.

Did I mention I failed that part of preschool?

She did traumatic things with that frog. That frog will never be the same.

We're doing the comprehensive tour of all Rite Aids in California...well, except for the ones we're not allowed in anymore.

I was having fun with whacking.

My hands and my butt altogether will not fit in these jeans.

Tiger Woods never blamed the shoe.
Tiger Woods was paid to endorse the shoe.

No, that was not bouncing. That was just jumping up and down with extreme disapproval.

I will speak with my dying breath. With my dying not-breath.

Okay, that was a shot of no proportion.

I lost a piece of clothing that was fairly important.

Off the green thing, around the wall, in the hole. Or possibly nowhere near the hole.

I will now do nothing that I plan to do. (and she didn't)

They're very sensitive balls.

Softly but firmly.

Kind of like that, only with bushes.

This is where the vampires jump us. It depends on what vampires are doing the jumping.

Hit over the mountie!

Can we not make the cat work out our personal issues?

You have no idea what a charge I get out of having something shorter than me in the house.

Hey! Hey! That's my head. You don't stand on that!

This is an out hole, not an in hole.

You are too tall for words. Except tall. Tall is a word.

Celli take me! Celli take me! Celli take me!

Then we run through FantasyLand as fast as possible, screaming our heads off when we pass It's a Small World so we don't have to listen.... Or we could just walk.

I have Debbie Boone issues. Would you stop!?

This guy's going subspeed limit in a major way. I made a new cliche!

That had the air of something that should have been profound.

It was the guy with his shirt unbuttoned to his waist. It drove all rational thought from my brain.

I broke into my house for *nothing*?!?

I was listening to the woman with the towel on her head. --Unless the towel has become a deadly weapon of late, you really don't have to.

Angel is going shopping in Hell. (bouncing)

Somewhere Angel's going oh look change... and I can get a free king sized meal at Burger King.

Do they have Burger King in Hell?
-- They have *our* Burger King in Hell.

M-I-C-K-E-Y *thwap*!

Excuse me. I have to set my sun dial back an hour.

I have a frog and I'm not afraid to use it.

I have a notebook and I'm not afraid to use it.

You have frog trauma?

Celli go boing boing boing smush!

Just because you're becoming intimate with my dashboard....

Okay, but we don't go near the library.

Call the Horsechicks. Tell them the apocalypse is at hand. A cow is speaking Spanish.

He is *not* Wyle E. Coyote!

After watching a sky writer: And as the plane goes down, little letters will spell out O-O-P-S!

[unintelligible squeaking] Quote *that*!

Okay now you just sound like a pig.

Gordon's Body Shop. Now how nice is Gordon's body that we'd want to go shopping for it?

I saw my first real hooker on this street.

Look! Marie Callenders! [restaurant]
- I hear that Callender woman's food is to die for.

If you're wet, you've gone too far.

For the record, squeal after.

I can't write that down.

Oh come on, you can't drive across traffic?
-- Yes, but she didn't want to scare us. Why stop now?

Where are you going?
-- It's the direction commonly known as straight.

Didn't we talk about the whole blow the thingy up at the ceiling?

"A club for men with taste -- showgirls." Am I miss something here?
-- The "no" fell off.

It was really cute, in a pathetic way.

She wants to make the face at it in private.

If there was a career in quoting....

Thank you very much. I have now lost the ability to read the English language, even if it is just lines and dashes and the English isn't really there.

The English majors will sit here and play hang man. The fashion merchandising major will admire her shoes.


This one's spent too much time with the cat.

Lizbet, that's a side of you I never really wanted to see.

The top of the coke is not fuzzy!

You don't want me to breathe. It'll give me more breath support.

That is not funny! That is so not funny on a scale of epicness!

I've amused them greatly and embarrassed myself muchly.

You're trilling with bubbles.

This is hysteria!
-- No, that was Def Leppard's really good album.

When did this become strip tarot reading?

You made me squeak. Are you happy now?

In my alternate persona as a firefly, duh!

A sledge hammer is an equal opportunity weapon.

She killed the fluffy thing. You bastard!

I don't think much of Michael Biehn. I don't think much of Eric Close.
-- Are you human?

Ingrained reflex.
-- I'm sorry. Ingrown toenail doesn't work the same.

There's a lot of balance in dooming people.
-- They're all level when you're done?

You suck. In a majorly sucking way.
-- That's how people suck. If they sucked in a nonsucking way, they wouldn't be sucking.

Chinese! Ball! Chinese! Ball! They should make Chinese balls.
-- They do.

They're making Spanish cat talk.

Her dad was a triangle?
-- Actually, a rhombus. Her dad was a rhombus? Her dad was something I failed in geometry.

He was interlactic.
-- What does space have to do with milk?
-- Haven't you heard of the milky way?

You tried to decapitate my roommate!
-- With a pizza box? It's French.

My animal cracker bit me!

Be good and I won't make it hump your arm.

The torture was just a bonus.
-- Torture is always a bonus.

It's an amusement park. We don't come here for the food. We come here to throw up the food.

You end up on your back?
-- It's the only way to ride.

Be sure he has really strong arms and that you have a really strong bed.

It's a family trait. That only I have.

Go back to doing this. I wasn't moving my mouth then.

Where you aim your hands is not my problem.

Ow! Watch where you swing that thing.

Let's all stare at Celli's chest.

Our quote list is glowing.

How to mess with your own head....

The horribly talented writer comes in the cow's body.

Lizbet's comforter surfacing.
-- I'm looming dammit! Oh. Is that what you're doing?

This conversation is slowly descending.
-- That's because we're going down stairs.

What is your fascination with my underwear drawer?

Let's not mess with the person in charge of the large moving vehicle.

Write that down!!
-- I can't. The pen is dead.

Stop talking!!

Why are you singing the wedding march for a dead pen?

Mary Beth! The Pen Slayer!

Watch the mind boggle. Boggle boggle boggle.

1 + 1 = 2 beers.

I told you you're not allowed to feel me up.

Lizbet on beer = bad.
-- Actually, Lizbet on beer would be about six inches taller.

If I were drunk, I'd be having much more fun.

I was talking before Dylan McDermott happened, but now I can't remember what I was saying.

Now she's making seal noises.

I sat on the quote list.

I'm back.
-- No you're not, but you're faking it well.

Mary Beth, you just have to accept the fact that your magnetic personality has an effect on remotes.

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