Okay, I really am going to die for this one, but it was too entertaining to resist. And since I'm pretty much the most humiliated one in the room... Mild profanity warnings, mostly my fault.
Chicago/Denver/Los Angeles Scary Phone Call
Chris: "A bounty hunter named Norman Fister?"
Chris: "That's probably why he became a bounty hunter...."
Perri: "shit shit shit shit shit!"
Tina: "*Major* emotional angst!"
Perri: "shit shit shit shit shit!"
"I love Joss. I hate Joss. I can't believe this..."
"We have a love-hate relationship with someone we don't even know!" -- Chris and Tina
"You're speaking French!"
"They're the Tish & Gomez Addams of the vampire world!" -- Tina and Chris
"She's going non-verbal over *Xander*!?" -- Perri
"Don't squeak so loudly!"
"I'm not squeaking, I'm whining!" -- Tina and Perri
"How can you simultaneously drool and-- and---"
"Cringe, yeah, that's it...." -- Perri and Chris
"Damn, he looks fine with his shirt off and in pain." -- Chris
Tina: "I wanna see Dru get better."
Chris: "You're sick, Tina.
Chris and Perri: "And you'll always *be* sick!!"
Tina: "But I want to have fun with it!"
Perri: [Darla tones] "That's good, too...."
"Duhh ugh uhh ahh duhh dah..."
"Nonsensical babbling." -- Tina and Chris
Lizbet (to Beth, earlier; before she even says hello): You're calling just to torture me. Whoever this is, I'm not talking to you. It's not fair!
Buffy: "No kick-o, no fight-o..."
Perri: Punchy fruity drinky?
Perri: You sound just like me!... Actually, I was saying "shit shit shit shit shit!" during this part.
"Oh, whoa. When did *you* become Klingon?" -- Lizbet
Chris: More little mewling and whimpering sounds.
Perri *and* Lizbet: *mew*
Chris: Lots of them!
"Certainly has that arm-licking thing down, doesn't he?"
"Lollipop, lollipop..." -- Chris and Perri
Perri: 'Been a very bad daddy...' bitch bitch BITCH!
Chris: There are levels of weirdness in that statement that I just don't want to examine.
Perri: Wait a minute. Giles is better dressed than Buffy!
Chris: Aren't we supposed to drink now?
Lizbet: We're beyond drink, beyond chug. We should be switching the channel to make sure we're not watching VR.5, but we're not!
"How many weapons does this woman *have*?"
"I want her arsenal." -- Lizbet and Chris
"High-pitched sounds are going to be happening now." -- Lizbet
"Lizbet, look at his chest closely, see if you can figure out what that pendant is."
"Oh, yeah, _that's_ why you're watching his chest." -- Perri and Chris [Ed. It's an ankh, by the way. Was too watching for that!]
Someone else: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahhhhh!
"Demon Mug Book." -- Perri
Perri (very fast): Damn his noble little self-sacrificing hide!
Chris: Say that again?
Lizbet: Damn his noble little self-sacrificing hide!
"Good cop, bad cop."
"No, good Slayer, bad Slayer. Well, bad Slayer, worse Slayer." -- Lizbet and Perri
"Wig Lizbet, wig!"
"Bite me! I know it's self-evident, but bite me anyway!"
"I can't from 2,000 miles away. Besides, I'm not into phone-fang." -- Perri and Lizbet
(Buffy takes out Spike with the censor:)
Buffy: "I'm good."
(The organ loft crashes down on him and Dru)
Perri: I think you had a little help from above, there.
Val and Jack in Ohio, not on the phone with the other crew
"EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee. Jack, stop laughing at me. EeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEeeeeeeeeee--oh, Willie, you are so bloody fucking CLUELESS, *how* are you still alive? Don't care right now. Saved Angel. I'll beat him up later." -- Valerie
"I dunno, Kendra's still not off the hook. [cop lady takes hostage by throat] Okay, *now* Kendra's off the hook." -- Valerie
"Good Slayer, bad Slayer. This has possibilities." -- Valerie
"And why was he running straight toward the organ?" The aisle led there and he had to turn to get to the door? I guess this one did have a few sloppies, didn't it? I was busy whimpering about Angel..." -- Jack and Valerie
Virginia Gathering (with color and play-by-play from Dianne)
Oh dear... they _did_ find the list...
"There's nothing worse than a pissed off Frosty." -- MB
"Where did Maryland go?" -- Celli, on the phone at the time.... calling from Maryland.
"She's not only a geek, she's a retro geek" -- Dianne, on Buffy & her Dorothy Hamill style
"Not liking this!"
"Well, we know he's gonna be naked later, so it's ok." -- Beth and MB
"Have you seen the James Bond *everything* commercial? Pretty soon he's gonna have his own maxi-pad!" -- Shannon
"Angel half-naked, tied up, bed.... *those* two having sex is *not* what I had in mind." -- Beth
"It's the Angel lunge."
"And it hurts!" -- Dianne and MB
Yes, MB sustained line-of-duty Angel-drooler injuries on the rerun... Angel appears, half-naked, tied to bed, and both times three people do this amazing flying lunge to land on their stomachs on the carpet approximately three inches from the screen. It *was* quite amusing... :-)))
"Mmmmmm.... blood. *slurp*." -- Nancy
"Where's the pen?"
"I threw it when I saw Angel naked." -- Dianne and Beth
"There are way too many times when he's just mwhumwawubbba...." -- MB
"She's talking to some guy in Michigan.... or possibly Spain." -- MB
"Oh yeah, it makes more sense that way 'round." -- Celli
"Where do you squeeze him?"
"Somewhere around his tummy." --Shannon and Celli
"I'm still on an Angel-naked high." --Beth
"It's Angel naked disease." -- Beth
"He has his hand up her..."
[Various women thunder toward computer screen w/picture on it.]
"Insane groupies to the front of the line." --MB and Dianne
"Sex, sex, and more sex?" -- MB
"Where *are* you from?"
"Yeah, the Land of Not Here." -- MB, Beth and Dianne on Kendra [Later, someone, Celli?, decided that her watcher must be Irish.]
"I think she got a kick out of that."
"She's not the only one!" -- Beth and Celli
And yes, this was part of the torture bit...
"The alien one where he's fuzzy and blue?" -- MB
"Whoever you are. You're calling for the express purpose of torturing me and that's cruel and unfair." --Lizbet answering her phone at about 10:15 EST.
Hah! Like we would *ever* do such a thing!
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