Pinky and the Dru

by havocthecat
Copyright 1998

Goddess help me, I'm sick. Sick, sick, sick, sick, and in need of mental help. You thought the Highlander crossover was bad, didn't you (not the Richie one, that's sane, but Well, this one is worse. Yes, worse.

This is what I get for watching Kids' WB every morning, you realize.

No one's mine, blah, blah, blah, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Steven Spielberg, WB, etc., etc., and so on and so forth.

"What do you want to do tonight, Brain?" Pinky bounced up and down, then hopped on one foot until he fell on his head.

Brain sighed. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky," he said, refusing to let despair overtake him. The world *would* be his! "Try to take over the..."

"Oooh, look," said a voice. "Two little, white snackies."

"Yeah, luv," said Spike. "Um, am I mistaken, or didn't you just eat?"

"Excuse me," said the Brain, walking toward them and raising a questioning hand. "Might I ask who you are? Indeed, might I also ask how, precisely, creatures of a size such as yourselves could find a way past the security guard?"

"Oh," said Drusilla. "I ate him."

"Zoit!" Pinky was staring at Spike and Drusilla. "And here I am with just my mouse pellets to keep me company." He started laughing.

Brain hit him. "Hush, Pinky," he whispered. "Perhaps these two can be of aid to us in our quest."

"Um, 'scuse me," said Spike. "But can I ask exactly how you two blokes can talk?"

"We are but simple lab mice," said the Brain, using his tail to unlock the cage door. "Innocent and furry test subjects who spend night after night in futile attempts to take over the world." With a click, the door opened and he walked over to Spike. "You see, the world would benefit from my leadership--my genius entitles *me* to rule the Earth!" He paused. "Unfortunately, the Earth is full of blind and foolish people who refuse to recognize my obvious talent."

Spike nodded. "I think I can relate," he said, glancing over at Drusilla, who was watching Pinky run in his exercise wheel.

"You like to spin," she said. "You're a little mousey-flavored milkshake who turns round and round and round."

A thought seized the Brain. Yes! He had, with his formidable genius, come up with a plan. "Pinky," he said, hoping to catch his dimwitted assistant's attention.

"Yeah, Brain?" Pinky tumbled off the wheel and came over to sit, sprawled out on the floor, next to the Brain.

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Perhaps--someday--he would get the correct answer. Perhaps today.

"Yeah, Brain, but I don't really think that Squeez Cheez would work there."

Perhaps not.

"Of course not," said Drusilla, eliciting a shocked look from the Brain--and apparently from Spike as well. "You want to try bits of cake instead."

"Oooh," said Pinky, sighing happily. "You *do* understand. He scampered up Drusilla's arm and perched on her shoulder.

Spike rolled his eyes. "Hop in," he said, gesturing to one of the many pockets on his leather jacket. "It looks like we're gonna be keeping each other company for a while."

Brain complied, sharing a commiserating glance with Spike as Pinky bounced happily on Drusilla's shoulder as she twirled around the room.

"What do you want to do tonight, Drusilla?" Pinky clambered to the top of her head and peered down..

Dru crossed her eyes and looked at him. "Try to destroy the world?"


Spike rolled his eyes. Brain frowned. It was going to be a long night.


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