B: But I didn't do anything.
PS: Why do I find that so very hard to believe?
PS: Buffy Summers. If there's trouble, she's behind it.
B: You stupid little troll. You have no idea.
PS: Attitude problem. Serious.
Cop: We have a fugitive on foot at the high school. Homicide suspect. Female, blond, approximately sixteen years old. Suspect is very dangerous.
B: Okay, that was about equal parts protecting me and copping a feel, right?
C: I ran. I think I made it through three counties before I realized nobody was chasing me. Not too brave.
G: What do you want?
As: I want to torture you. I used to love it. It's been a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured somebody, they didn't even have chain saws.
As: Oh, yeah, Acathla. He's an even harder guy to wake up than you are. I mean, I performed the rituals, said all the right phrases, blood on my hand, got nothing. Big doughnut hole for my troubles. I figure you know the ritual. You're pretty up on these things. You could probably tell me what I'm doing wrong. But, honestly, I sort of hope you don't... 'cause I really want to torture you.
B: Who are you?
B: What are you doing here?
Wh: Waiting for you.
Wh: 'Cause I need a date to the Prom.
B: I've had a really bad day, okay? If you have information worth hearing, then I am grateful for it. If you're gonna crack jokes, then I'm gonna pull out your rib cage and wear it as a hat.
Wh: Hello to the imagery! Very nice.
Wh: It wasn't supposed to go down like this. Nobody saw you coming. I figured this for Angel's big day. But I thought he was here to stop Acathla, not to bring him forth. then you two made with the smoochies. Now he's a creep again.
B: What are you, just some immortal demon sent down to even the score between good and evil?
Wh: Wow. Good guess.
B: Then why don't you try getting off your immortal ass and fighting evil once in a while?
S: Hello, cutie.
S: Hey! White flag here. I quit.
B: Let me clear this up for you. We're mortal enemies. We don't get time-outs.
B: What do you want?
S: I told you. I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world.
B: Okay, you do remember that you're a vampire, right?
S: We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got... dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people... billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision... with a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly, farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square.
B: Okay, fine, you're not down with Angel.
B: The whole earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big 'ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to not care.
B: All right, talk.
S: I'm just gonna kill this guy...
S: Oh, right.
X: I mean, how am I gonna pass Trig? And who am I gonna call every night? And talk about everything we did all day? You're my best friend. I love you.
O: How you feelin'?
W: My head... feels big. Is it big?
O: No, it's head size.
As: Rupert, buddy, I'm here to tell you, I'm impressed. How you holding up?
G: Never... better.
As: Glad to hear it. Now, tell me when it hurts.
S: What, your Mom doesn't know?
J: Know what?
B: That I'm, uh... in a band. A rock band... with Spike here.
S: Right. She plays the-the triangle.
S: Drums, yeah. She's hell on the old skins, you know.
J: Buffy, _what_ is going on?
B: Mom... I'm a vampire slayer.
W: I mean, I don't feel good, but... I'm awake, and I know my name, and who's president, and how many fingers, so they don't think my brain got mushed at all.
J: Have we met?
S: You hit me with an ax one time. Remember? Uh, "Get the hell away from my daughter!"
J: Oh. So, do you, uh, live here in town?
B: She killed Kendra.
S: Dru bagged a Slayer? She didn't tell me. Good for her! < pause > Though not from your perspective, I suppose.
J: Did she explode like that man out there?
J: Honey, are you sure you're a vampire slayer? I mean, have you tried not being a slayer? It's because you didn't have a strong father figure, isn't it?
J: Now that we know you're innocent...
B: What? You thought I was guilty? Geeze, feelin' the love in this room.
B: Get them involved, you'll get them killed.
J: Well, you're not going to hurt them, are you?
B: I'm a Slayer, not a postal worker.
B: Do... do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... god, even studying! But I have to save the world... again.
C: So, Buffy's going for the big show-down, huh? I wish we could help, you know, without dying.
W: I'm okay.
X: You don't look okay. Does she?
C: You should listen to him. The hair, it's so flat, and the lips...
X: Could we stay on topic here, honey?
W: There's no use arguing with me. Do you see my resolved face? You've seen it before, you know what it means.
O: Okay, I pretty much missed out on some stuff, didn't I? Because this is all making a kind of sense that's... not.
As: You know, I can stop the pain. You've been very brave, but it's over. You've given enough. Now let me make it stop.
As: Just tell me what I need to know.
G: In order... to be worthy... you must perform the ritual... in a tutu. Pillock!
As: All right, someone get the chain saw.
S: Now, now, don't let's lose our temper.
As: Keep out of it, sit-n-spin.
S: You have your way with him, you'll never get to destroy the world. And I don't fancy spending the next month trying to get librarian out of the carpet.
PS: You do know this is a crime scene, don't you? But then... you're a criminal, so that pretty much works out.
PS: These are moments you want to savor. You wish time would stop so that you could live them over and over again. You're expelled.
B: You never ever got a single date in high-school, did you?
PS: Your point being?
S: Uh, Drusilla...
S: We are finished here, ducks.
D: Sorry. I was in the moment.
Wh: You know, raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun. You're never going to get the good stuff.
X: Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here.
X: Now that's a new look for you.
B: It's a present for Angel.
W: Are we ready?
C: Stinky herbs are go.
O: Did I mention I didn't take Latin?
W: You don't have to understand it. You just have to say it -- I hope.
S: Painful, isn't it?
S: I don't want to hurt you, baby. //thud// //bam// Doesn't mean I won't.
X: Giles! Giles!
X: Can you walk?
G: You're not real.
X: Sure, I'm real.
G: It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.
X: Then why would they make you see me?
G: You're right. Let's go.
As: My boy Acathla here is about to wake up. You're going to hell.
B: Save me a seat.
O: But we know the world didn't end, 'cause... check it out.
W: I think the spell worked. I felt something go through me.
C: Plus the Orb did that cool glow thing.
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