B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, C=Cordelia, O=Oz, A=Angel
J=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, WP=Wesley, F=Faith, MW=Mayor Wilkins

MW: A package is arriving tomorrow night from Central America. Something - and I can't stress this enough - something crucially important to my ascension. Without it... well, what would tollhouse cookies be without the chocolate chips? A pretty darn big disappointment, I can tell you!

MW: There - that look on your face is my reward.

MW: So, you just take good care of it. You be careful not to put somebody's eye out with that thing. 'Till I tell you to.
F: Got any particular eyes in mind?

B: Sorry, honey.
A: That's okay.

B: Well, there's something you don't see every day. Unless, of course, you're me.
A: That was bracing. Wanna do another sweep?
B: It's what I live for - sad to say.

B: Do you get the feeling that we're kind of in a rut?
A: Rut?
B: You never take me anyplace new.
A: What about that fire-demon nest in the cave by the beach? Thought that was a nice change of pace.
B: So this is our future? I mean, this is how we're gonna spend our nights when I'm 50 and you're... the same age you are now?
A: Let's just get you to 50.
B: Liking that plan.

B: I just can't decide on a school right now. I mean... I want to sleep on it, you know, mull it over. Raise 'em up my inner flagpole, see which one I salute.

PS: Okay, what's in the bag?
Guy: My lunch.
PS: Is that the new drug lingo?
Guy: No, it's my lunch.
PS: Sit up straight.

W: Sounds like your mom's in a state of denial.
B: More like a continent. She just has to realize that I can't go away.
W: Maybe not now, but soon, maybe. Or maybe I, too, hail from denial land.
B: Faith's turn to the dark side of the Force pretty much put the proverbial kibosh on any away plans for me.

B: But you - I can't believe you got into Oxford!
W: It's pretty exciting.
O: There's some deep academia there.
B: That's where they make Gileses!
W: I know. I could learn, and have scones.

X: Kerouac. He's my teacher. The open road, my school.
B: Making the open dumpster your cafeteria?
X: Go ahead, mock me.
O: I think she just did.
X: We bohemian, anti-establishment types have always been persecuted.
O: Well, sure, you're all so weird.
W: I think it's neat, you doing the back-pack, trail mix, happy wanderer thing.
X: I'm aware it scores kinda high on the hokey-meter, but I think it'll be good for me, help me to find myself.
C: And help us to lose you. Everyone's a winner.
X: Well, look who just popped open a fresh can of venom. Hey, did you hear about Willow getting into Oxnard?
W: Oxford.
X: And M.I.T., and Yale, and every other college on the face of the planet? As in your face, I rub it.
C: Oxford. Whoopee. Four years in teabag central. Sounds thrilling. And M.I.T. is a clearasil ad with housing, and Yale is a dumping ground for those who didn't get into Harvard.
W: I got into Harvard.

B: You guys, don't forget to breathe between insults.
C: I'm sorry, Buffy, this conversation is reserved for those who actually have a future.

W: Oh, Buffy, she was just being Cordelia, only more so.

X: I can't help it. It's my nature.
W: Maybe you need a better nature.

WP: I don't understand.
B: Well, I don't think I can talk any slower, Wes.

WP: But you're a Slayer.
B: Yeah, I'm also a person. You can't just define me by my Slayerness. That's... something-ism.

WP: All right, everyone. Monsters, demons, world in peril?
B: I'll betcha they have all that stuff in Illinois.

WP: You cannot leave Sunnydale! With the power invested in me by the Council, I forbid it.
G: Oh, yes, that should settle it.

B: I'm aware that my graduation may be, among other things, posthumous.

B: All you guys have to do is keep the run-of-the-mill unholy forces at bay through midterms, and I'll be back in time for Homecoming.

G: What's your plan?
B: I gotta have a plan? Really? I can't just be proactive with pep?
G: If you want to take the fight to them, I suggest the first step will be to find out exactly what they're up to.
B: Oh. I actually knew that. I thought you meant a more specific plan, you know, with maps and stuff.

Vamp: You killed him.
F: What are you, the narrator?

Vamp: That won't cut through steel.
F: No, but it'll cut through bone.

MW: What happened to the courier? I was supposed to pay him.
F: I made him an offer he couldn't survive.

MW: What?
F: Nothing.
MW: Oh, it's 'cause I used the "B" word, huh?

MW: She deserves that poor excuse for a creature of the night.

B: So, what's in the box?

B: Unfortunately, that's all I could get out of my informant before his aggressive tendencies forced me to introduce him to Mr. Pointy.

WP: Hang on. We don't know what such a ritual would require.
G: I think the breath of the entropics is standard for this sort of thing. Fairly simple recipe. Xander?
X: I know, I'm ingredient-gettin' guy.

WP: We need time to fully analyze the situation, and devise a proper and strategic stratagem.
B: Wes, hop on the train, or get off the tracks.
WP: The mayor will most assuredly have supernatural safeguards protecting the box. Oh, we all forgot about that, did we?
B: Looks like a job for wiccan-girl. What do you say, Will? Big time danger.
W: Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.
X: But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods.

X: Ten minutes with you, and the admissions department decided that they'd already reached their mean-spirited, superficial princess quota.
C: And once again, the gold medal in the being wrong event goes to Xander "I'm as stupid as I look" Harris.

O: Well, we better be sure. Destroying this box is supposed to be a pretty delicate operation.
X: Then they shouldn't leave it in the hands of the lay people.

O: See, there's you, there's me.
X: Well, how can you tell which is which? I mean, they both kind of look stick-figurey to me.
O: Well, this one's me. See the little guitar?

O: Okay... toad me.

W: Oh, yeah, I'm bad.

B: I'd like very much to come up now, please.

B: Don't suppose you wanna help me get down? /growls// Didn't think so.

MW: This is very unfortunate. I just had this conference room redecorated, for pete's sake. At taxpayers expense. And, oh, yeah... GAHH! They've got my box.

WP: This box must be destroyed.
X: I need a volunteer to hit Wesley.

WP: This is the town's best hope of survival. It's your chance to get out.
B: You think I care about that? Are you made of human parts?

Hench-Vamp: What are you doing?
W: I'm looking for a sucking candy. 'Cause my mouth gets dry when I'm nervous, or held prisoner against my will. And suddenly I'm thinking "sucking" isn't a good word to use around vampires. Hey! Did you get permission to eat the hostage? I don't think so.

MW: A dog's friendship is stronger than reason, stronger than its own sense of self-preservation. Buffy's like a dog. And hey, before you can say "Jack Robinson," you'll get to see me kill her like one.

F: Check out the bookworm.
W: Faith!
F: Anybody with brains, anybody who knew what was going to happen to her, would be trying to claw her way out of this place. But you! You just can't stop Nancy Drewing, can you? I guess now you know too much, and that kind of just naturally leads to killing.

W: It didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo-hoo!

F: You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.
W: Oh, and here I just thought you didn't have a comeback.

W: I'm not afraid of you.
F: Let's see what we can do about that.
MW: Girls. I hope I don't have to separate you two. Faith, you can play with your new toy later.

O: Whole place is locked down, except for the front.
X: Yeah, it gives me that comforting "trapped" feeling.

MW: Well, this is exciting, isn't it? Clandestine meetings by dark of night, exchange of prisoners. I just, I... I feel like we should all be wearing trenchcoats.

MW: She's pretty, Angel. A little skinny. Still don't understand why it couldn't work out with you and my Faith. I guess you kinda just have strange tastes in women.
A: Yeah, well, what can I say? I like 'em sane.

PS: You... all of you... Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?

W: So Faith was like, "I'm gonna beat you up," and I'm all, "I'm not afraid of you." And then she had the knife, which was less fun.

B: This is your night for suave, Will. You should get captured more often.

W: What do you mean, I can't?
B: I won't let you.
W: Of the two people here, which is the boss of me?

W: I have a shot at being a bad-ass wicca. And what better place to learn?

B: I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle.
W: Mochas?
B: Yes, please.

B: He doesn't even know what a lasting relationship is.
A: No.
B: Probably the only lasting relationship he's ever had is with... evil.
A: Yeah.
B: Big, stupid, evil guy.

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