B=Buffy, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, D=Dawn
J=Jonathan, Wn=Warren, Aw=Andrew, H=Halfrek

S: How you doin'?
B: Oh, fine. You know, same old, same old.
S: Here, I could take care of this guy if you want.
B: Whatever. Your call.
S: I mean, sure, he don't look like much, but I'd wager he could give you a bit of nasty. Save you the staking. All you gotta do is...
B:I am not telling my friends about us.

B: I tried to kill my friends, my sister last week, and guess how much they hate me. Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you -- they'll deal.
S: In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?
B: Because I don't love you.
S: Like hell.

W: Look at you, all coming out of class and everything.
T: I do that sometimes. Usually at the end part of the class.

W: It's between a hitch and kink, with a side of a twinge.

T: And Buffy's okay too? Enjoying the refreshing sanity and so forth?

T: Only this time you stuck around.
W: Uh, um, various sounds of hesitation...

B: Okay, how about this one.
D: Ah, three pairs of earrings, a coin purse, and a toothbrush.
B: You stole a toothbrush?
D: A mother-of-pearl handle, very fancy.
B: Yeah, but you stole a toothbrush. As far as rebellious teenagers go, you're kind of square.
D: Dental hygiene is important!

J: Get back. You don't want to make me rush this.
Wn: I'm not impressed, Padawan. When do we hit paydirt?

Wn: Cheer up, Short Round. You're about to get us everything we ever wanted.

Aw: I sort of feel sorry for him.
Wn: That's a weakness.
Aw: Um, okay.

Aw: He's got that same look on his face, though. The one he had that time I highlighted in his Babylon 5 novels... right before he told his mother on me!

X: But you gotta believe me, please. I want to make up for it. I want to take away the hurt. I love you so much. [pause] I may have practiced that a couple of times in front of the mirror.

X: No, no, I mean, you know, if I were, like, more self-aware -- because with the whole idiot thing.

A: I wish you felt the pain of a thousand searing pokers boiling your heart in its own juices.
X: I know, honey. I totally deserve that.
A: I wish you had tentacles where your beady eyes should be!

B: I'm the embarrassing mom who tries too hard. When did this happen?

D: Why don't I come patrolling with you tonight?
B: Oh, and then, maybe we could invite over some strangers and ask them to feed you candy.
D: You guys went out patrolling every night when you were my age.
B: True, but technically you're 1 1/2.

A: You're lesbians, so the hating of men will come in handy -- let's talk about Xander.

B: I don't think he could feel any worse.
A: Let's test that theory.

D: I never use that word anymore.
A: Coagulate?
D: W-I-S-H.

D: Any "I wish" can totally end in horrible grossness.
A: Give me a for-instance?

A: Squish, squish, squish. Guys have been running roughshod over you for years. Torturing that perky little ticker. Aren't you sick of it? Don't you wish guys like that...
B: Whoa. Guys? There've only been four. Three. Three guys. That's barely plural.
A: And didn't each of them rip your heart out?

X: I have to go after her.
B: Or, in the land of the sane, you could give her some space, let her cool down.
X: That's not proactive guy. That's sit-around-and-watch-the- rest-of-your-life-turn-to-crap guy.
B: True, but at least crap guy gets to keep all of his appendages.

S: Oh, the great Xander thinks so? Shudder, gasp, it must be true.

A: So, what's your pleasure?
S: Fresh out of pleasure. That's why I'm here.

A: Oh my god -- Spike hates Xander. Maybe I can get him to wish... Damn it. If only he were a woman. Oh, got it. If I can somehow get someone to wish that Spike were a woman, then I could go to him - well, he'd be a her by then. But then I could go to her--
H: Anyanka, there's an easier way. Now, I know you have this whole female power, take-back-the-night thing, and I think that's cute.

A: Giles left a couple of supplies here that I think just might help. Eases the hurt, makes the sun shine a little brighter, even makes boring people seem more interesting. Ah, here! [brings out bottle of Jack Daniels]

S: What he done to you, I'll never stoop that low. And I'm an evil, soulless thing.

A: To tell you the truth, all I wanted was to use him and lose him. I hadn't had a good tumble in a thousand years.

A: And now I'm off my guard. Happy. Singing in the shower and doing my sexy dance.
S: Exactly! [pause] I have no dance.

A: Screw 'em!
S: To the rafters.

S: I have nothing but respect for a woman who's forthright. Drusilla was always straightforward. Didn't have a single buggering clue about what was going on in front of her, but she was straight about it. That was a virtue.

S: Take it quick or my chivalry will run out.

A: Wait -- what are you doing?
S: Moving on.

A: You know I'm only doing this because I'm lonely and drunk and you smell really good.
S: See? Forthright.

Wn: Is that...?
J: Spike?
Aw: He is so cool. And, I mean, the girl's hot, too.

D: So, this is it? This is the stuff you've been protecting me from? You and Spike?
B: And a lot of monsters.

T: There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again, on both sides. You have to learn if, if we're even the same people we were. If we can fit in each other's lives. It's a long and important process. And... can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?

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