A: I'm a bright girl -- good education, quick on the uptake. So tell me, why in the name of almighty Grothnar would I let myself become human again?
S: You're really talkin' to the wrong fella.
A: You know, the only thing worse than being human is being trapped inside a house full of humans.
S: Preaching to the choir, luv.
S: I like my plan better. Get up. Get out. Get drunk. Repeat as needed. It's just more elegant.
A: Tonight I plan to drink you under the table.
S: You're on, then.
A: Good. Of course, once you're down there, I could join you. Kidding. I like my sex on top of the table.
S: Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone.
A: So what?
S: It's my bone.
R: It's started, hasn't it?
B: The Hellmouth has begun its semi-annual percolation. Usually it blows around May.
R: Buffy, I'm just a guy. Granted, a cool and sexy vampire fighting guy, but still.
B: Don't forget snappy dresser.
R: It's nothing like the end of the world to bring people together.
B: It's heartwarming.
A: Where the hell have you been? This funnel cake is kicking my ass!
R: Yeah, I hear they're tricky.
B: Andrew is our... actually, he's our hostage.
An: I like to think of myself more as a "guestage."
R: So you hold him her against his will?
B: Well, he was evil, and people got killed, and now he... bakes. It's a thing.
B: You'll have to forgive Andrew. Or not. Your call.
K: I love this job! Did you see that? I called that girl maggot.
R: I'm just not sure the First has an ass you can actually, you know, kick.
W: Well, Buffy, I see that our preparation for the school pep-dance-cheer-drill-contest are coming along. Bring it on!
R: She really almost destroyed the world?
R: Remind me not to make her crabby.
B: The First is coming and look at us. The army. There are a bunch of fighters with nothing to hit, a Wicca who won't-a, and the brains of our operation wears oven mitts.
A: He won't stop coming till he kills me.
S: And yet here we are. Walking, talking, annoying.
A: You fought like such a wimpire, what with the lifting and the running.
R: Is that what you are? A good guy?
S: I haven't heard any complaints. Well, I have heard a few complaints over the years, but then I just killed whoever spoke up and that was pretty much that.
S: Yeah, I went to great lengths, lots of trouble. And now I'm unique. Well, more or less.
D: Did you know that ancient Sumerians did not speak English?
B: They're worse than the French.
B: Don't you have any real homework?
D: Oh, you mean, like, schoolwork?
D: Well, I've got a system. It's called flunking out. No, just kidding. I'm paying someone to do my work. I'm kidding! I love to see your eyeballs change color when you think I'm gonna flunk out...
X: You're our leader, Buffy, as in "follow the."
B: Aside from getting rescued, what is it you do?
A: I provide much needed sarcasm.
X: Um, that would kind of be my job, actually.
B: What I want is the Spike that's dangerous. The Spike that tried to kill me when we met.
S: Oh, you don't know how close you are to bringing him out.
D: That emergency bag's got some neat stuff in it -- weapons, charms... advanced reading assignments.
X: That's it -- the First hates puppets. Now if we can just airlift Kermit, Fozzy the Bear and Miss Piggy into town, the First'll be a-runnin'.
X: It's cryptic. I don't like it. Every time instructions get cryptic, someone gets hurt. Usually me.
X: Okay, so far, so creepy.
X: Ah, this must be the exchange student.
D: Are you injured?
K: Just hurt.
K: Is getting thrown through the ceiling what he does best?
X: Looks like it's spell-o'clock.
A: And you expect to reopen the portal without sending Willow off the deep end?
W: Thanks for your support.
K: We'll just start with what we know -- take it from there.
X: Great. So far we know jack about squat. Let's go from there.
A: You missed her 'everyone sucks but me' speech. If she's so superior, let her find her own way back.
B: I know we have bigger issues to deal with, but how'd I understand anything you guys just said? Oh, I know, ancient magics. I just thought it was neat.
B: The neat of it just left.
K: Well, now what? We hold hands and chant Kumbaya or something?
W: I think I might pee my pants.
K: You can do it. The magics, not the pants thing.
Magic Guy: The first Slayer did not talk so much.
W: Via, concurses, tempus, spatium, audi me ut imperio! Screw it! Mighty forces, I suck at Latin, okay?! But that's not the issue. I'm the one in charge and I'm telling you, open that portal now!
S: Oh, come on now, nancy. Call yourself a demon?
B: You think I came all this way to get knocked up by some demon dust?
S: I don't know your feelings, big guy, but to me, a tussle like that... is good for the soul.
B: I knew it -- it's always the staff.
W: You've been kind of quiet since...
K: You sucked the life out of me?
W: Yeah, since then.
B: Thanks for bringing me back... again.
W: Aw, that's what I do.
B: I was hard on you guys today.
W: Well, that's all right -- you needed to be. Although twinkies and kisses -- also peachy motivational tools.
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