B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, D=Dawn
J=Jonathan, Wn=Warren, Aw=Andrew, Am=Amy, DK: Doris Kroger

D: Candles? We can't have candles?
B: Dawn, it's a magic clearance. Everything must go.
D: But they're just candles!
B: Well, yeah, you know, to you and me they're just candles. But to witches, they're like... bongs.

G: So, no candles, no charms, no--
W: Bird.
B: Bird?

Wn: It still needs a trial run, but it's--
J: Kinda clunky looking
Wn: What?
Aw: I pictured something cooler. More ILM, less Ed Wood.

J: You penis!
Wn: Oh, cheer up, Frodo.

B: How are you doing?
W: Okay. Not ready to head back to classes, face the world okay, but the shakiness is only semi now.

W: Okay, I deserve the wrath of Dawn, but why is she taking it out on
B: Because I let it happen.

S: Just, uh, took a stroll. Found myself in your neck of the woods.
B: Couldn't find a less flammable time of day to take a stroll?

S: So, um, what should I call you, then? Pet? Sweetheart? My little Goldilocks?

S: Uh-uh, uh-uh -- this flapjack's not ready to be flipped.

X: Good Godfrey Cambridge, Spike. Still trying to mack on Buffy? Wake up already. Never gonna happen. Only a complete loser would ever hook up with you. Unless she's a simpleton like Harmony, or a nut-sack like Drusilla--
B: Hey.

B: Now's really not a good time. I have company.
S: No worries. I'll wait.
B: Spike, this nice woman is from Social Services.
S: Oh, right. Hey, Buffy's a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis. Like, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it.
DK: I'm sorry, did you say--
B: Crib. Crib! He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin' street slang.

DK: He sleeps here?
B: What? No, no. Oh, the blanket. That's a security thing, yeah. He has issues.

DK: Oh, so you live with another woman?
B: Oh, oh, it's not a gay thing, you know. I mean, well, she's gay, but we don't... gay. Not that there's anything, oh, wrong with...

B: You know, I know what that looks like, but I swear it's not what it looks like. It's magic weed. It's not mine.
DK: I think I've seen enough.

S: So long, Goldilocks.

Aw: I'm scared. What if we get caught?
J: No way. We'll be invisible. Plus, their security's gotten lax.

Wn: Remember -- we're professionals.
Aw: Uh, Slayer.
Wn: What? Where?
Aw: There, headed this way.

J: Give it!
Aw: No, I need to be invisible!
J: I need it more. Buffy can't see me!
//invisibility ray hits Buffy//
Aw: Oopsie.

X: What happened to Buffy? She's gone.
A: She's right here. Table four. I put her with your family.
X: Great. Except we don't hate Buffy. Put her back at table one.
A: Well, where do I put D'Hoffryn?
X: We're not inviting D'Hoffryn.
A: I have to. He's my ex-boss. You're inviting your work buddies.

X: Where... where are you?
B: At table four, apparently.
A: Well, that remains to be seen. Like you.

X: Buffy, how did this hap--? Wait a sec. Have you been feeling ignored lately?

X: Can we get back to freaking out about no-show Buffy?

A: Why would anyone make her invisible, anyway? I mean, an invisible Slayer's got to be way more effective than the standard variety.
X: Yeah, I'm less with the why, and more with the how. We get the how, then we got how to make her unseen sight seen again, right?
B: 'S'allright.

A: It would help if we had a little bit more to go on. Or... anything to go on.

X: Willow, we need to talk.
W: We are talking. Well, I'm talking and you're looking at me funny.

X: Rhymes with blinvisible?
W: What??

X: Buffy was in town, leaving the hair cutting place, when she suddenly just--
W: Buffy got her hair cut?
X: Yeah. Adorable, apparently. I couldn't tell since she's all blinvisible.

W: So I guess it wouldn't matter if I just jump off the wagon completely, since you already think I'm making pit stops.

Aw: But we had so many plans. Naked women, and all... Well, all the naked women.

Aw: She could be anywhere. Even here. Right now. Watching, listening to every word we say. For all we know, she could be one of us.

J: In my book, an invisible Slayer means a whole world of trouble.

B: I am the ghost of fashion victims past. Studded caps - not a good idea! Hey, I'm doing you a favor!

B: Kill, kill, kill...
DK: What?
Other SW: I didn't say anything.
DK: Not you, the mug.

DK: I didn't do this. It was the voice.
SW: Excuse me?
DK: There was a voice before. It made my coffee dance.

X: No jumping. Look - feet firmly planted.

W: Whatever hit this fire hydrant hit it after it was made invisible. And betcha-by-golly-wow, that something was the same something that shot out of that alley.

//on TV// "Oh my god, the blood! Look at all the blood!"
S: //rubs belly, gets up for snack of blood from refrigerator//

S: Whatever beastie you are, I know you're here. And I hurt beasties.

S: A ghost, is it? Well, go and haunt the living, like a good spook.

S: Buffy?
B: I told you -- stop trying to see me.

A: Oh, I got it.
X: What?
A: Yeah, we'll put D'Hoffryn at your parent's table, and move your Uncle Rory to table five near the bar.
X: An, honey, we're looking for invisibility spells here.
A: Well, obviously, I haven't found anything yet.

A: Ewww. Xander!
X: What?
A: An unpleasant tactile experience. Like putting my hand in pudding.

X: If we don't find Buffy, I mean, if we don't figure out how this was done...
A: She's pudding?

Wn: Eventually, her molecular makeup will start losing its integrity, and then... pfft.
Aw: But wouldn't that kill her?
Wn: Well, let me think... yeah.
J: Wait a minute. We're not killing anybody - especially not Buffy.
Wn: You guys are so immature. We're villains! When are you gonna get that through your thick skulls?
J: We're not killers. We're crime lords.
Aw: Yeah, like... like Lex Luthor. He's always trying to take over Metropolis, but he doesn't kill Superman.
Wn: Because it's Superman's book, you moron!

X: ...naked in bed?
S: A man shouldn't let immortality be an excuse to let himself go. You gotta keep fit for the killing.
X: Yeah-huh.

X: Looks like you had a little trouble upstairs. Mini disaster area.
S: So what, you just come here to criticize my housekeeping?

X: I'm looking for Buffy.
S: Haven't seen her.
X: Well, you wouldn't. Fact is, she's come down with a slight case of invisibility.

S: And if we bump into each other, I'll clue her that you're on the lookout.
X: After your... exercises.
S: Yeah, right.
X: You know, kidding aside, Spike, you really should get a girlfriend.

S: This vanishing act's right liberating for you, isn't it? Go anywhere you want. Do anything you want. Or anyone.
B: What are you talking ab--
S: The only reason you're here is that you're not here.

B: I'm free. Free of rules and reports, free of this life.
S: Free of life. Got another name for that -- dead.

S: Get dressed if you can find your clothes, and push off, 'cause if I can't have all of you, I'd rather... hey, that's cheating.

B: He threw me out? He threw me! Did I, like, fall into some backward dimension here? Is this bizarro world?

B: I'm invisible. Check this out. Whoo... whoo... unidentified flying pizza, coming in for a landing.

B: Okay, not the most clever ad-lib, but c'mon, points for spontaneity.

B: Xander and Anya are working on it, Muldering out what happened.

X: Buffy, if this isn't reversed, you're gonna, well, dissolve... or fade... into nothing.
B: Wow.

Wn: Congratulations. You're our first hostage.

B: Where are the bad guys?
Wn: All around you, Slayer, so don't try anything.
W: He's bluffing, Buffy, there's just three of them... I think.
Wn: More than enough to cause some serious carnage, right guys? Guys? Guys!
J: ..at video game.. Kick! Use the kick.
Aw: I tried that -- he keeps blocking it with his drunken monkey fist.
B: Ooh, scary video carnage.
Wn: Hey! Slayer's here.
Aw: Sorry - didn't see her.

B: Okay, play time's over.
Wn: You haven't won yet, Slayer.
B: No, that part comes after I beat the snot out of you.
Wn: You'll just have to find me first. There's three of us against just one of you.
J: Hey, you lied to us.
Aw: Fight her yourself.

J: Ow, ow! Watch the chest hair!
B: I know that voice. You... you're Jonathan?! You have chest hair?

B: Who are you?
Aw: Andrew. I summoned the flying monkeys that attacked the high school? During the school play, you know?
Wn: It's Tucker's brother.
J: Tucker's brother.
B: Oh.

B: So you three have, what, banded together to be pains in my ass?
Wn: We're your arch-nemesises... nemeses.

Wn: What do you mean it's locked? You were supposed to check it!
J: I forgot.
B: I give you my arch-nemesises...ses.

B: So, how did you manage to.. do it, exactly? I mean, to locate it?
W: The hard way. The spell-free way. the oh-my-god-my-head's- gonna-fall-off, my-feet-are-killing-me way.

B: The whole "taking a vacation from me" thing didn't work out too well.
W: Tell me about it.
B: I'm not saying that I'm doing back-flips about my life, but... I didn't... I don't... want to die. That's something, right?
W: It's something.

W: So I guess we both made good first steps.
B: I guess.
W: Yay for us.
B: Yay.

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