Welcome To the H-Mouth

B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Angel, M=Master
C=Cordelia, J=Jesse

X: I kind of had a problem with the math.
W: Which part?
X: The math.

X: You're certainly a font of nothing.

B: That gym was full of vampi... asbestos.

X: Very suave, very not pathetic.

X: Oh, hey, you forgot your... stake?

C: John Tesh?
B: The devil.
C: That was pretty much a gimmee.

B: It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hang out with me.
W: Aren't you hanging out with Cordelia?
B: I can't do both?
W: Not legally.

J: Is it me or are you turning into a bibbling idiot?
X: No, it's not you.

C: Gym was cancelled due to the extreme dead guy in the locker.

B: Dead?
C: Totally dead. Way dead.
X: So, not just a little dead, then.

J: If you need a shoulder to cry on, or just to nibble on...

B: Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, "ooohhhh!"

B: I didn't think there'd be vampires on campus and I don't care!
G: Then why are you here?
B: To...tell you...that...I don't care...which...I don't...and...have now told you...so...bye!

B: To make a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing.

B: I've both been there, and done that, and I'm moving on.

B: First of all, I'm a *vampire* slayer, and secondly, I'm retired.

B: A stake through the heart, a little sunlight - it's like falling off a log.

B: This is Sunnydale - how bad an evil can there be?

B: What do I want?
A: To kill them. To kill them all.
B: Sorry, that's incorrect, but you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of turtle wax.

B: Who are you?
A: Let's just say I'm a friend.
B: Well, maybe I don't want a friend!
A: I didn't say I was yours.

B: Dark, gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way.

G: Did he say anything else?
B: Something about the mouth of hell. I *really* didn't like him.

C: Oh, yay, it's my stalker.

B: I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy bunny feelings for them, I'm just not going to get way extra-curricular with it.

X: You're like a textbook with arms.

G: It's dated?
B: It's carbon dated!

C: What is your childhood trauma?

C: Excuse me, I have to call everyone I have ever met, right now.

G: The vampire is not dead?
B: No, but my social life's on the critical list.

B: Now, we can do this the hard way, or... well, actually, there's just the hard way.

B: This is not gonna be pretty. We're talkin' violence, strong language, adult content....

X: We're having a talk with vampires in it.

W: Oh, I--I need to sit down.
B: You are sitting down.
W: Oh. Good for me.

W: If you hadn't shown up, they would have taken us, too... does anybody mind if I pass out?
B: Breathe.
W: Breathe.
B: Breathe.

X: They can fly?!
B: They can drive.

B: God, I'm so mentally challenged!

G: Maybe you could wrest some information from that dread machine. That was a bit, um, British, wasn't it?

X: Yesterday, my life's like, "uh-oh, pop quiz." Today it's, "rain of toads."

A: I thought you'd figure this out sooner or later. Actually, I thought it would be a *little* sooner.

A: They really don't like me dropping in.
B: Why not?
A: They really don't like me.
B: How can that possibly be?

B: Do you know what it's like to have a friend? That wasn't supposed to be a stumper.

B: ...he had this really, really thick neck, and all I had was this little, little exacto knife... you're _not_ loving this story.

C: Why do we have to devise these programs - isn't that what nerds are for?

B: Are you okay?
J: I am not okay on an epic scale.

J: I can hear the worms in the earth.
X: *That's* a plus.

X: I don't like vampires. I'm going to take a stand and say they're not good.

B: So, Giles, got anything that can make this day any worse?
G: How about the end of the world?
B: Knew I could count on you.

B: There's something you forgot about, too - sunrise. *stake* It's in about nine hours, moron.

B: Well, we averted the apocalypse. I'll give us points for that.

C: They were an ugly way of looking.

X: I mean, the dead rose. We should have at least had an assembly.

G: We may, in fact, stand between the earth and it's total destruction.
B: Well, I got to look on the bright side - maybe I can still get kicked out of school.
X: Oh yeah, that's a plan, 'cause a lot of schools aren't on a Hellmouth.
W: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that.
B: I was thinking of a more subtle approach. You know, like excessive not studying.
G: The earth is doomed.

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