Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, C=Cordelia


B: We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Buffy, and you're history.

B: Giles, don't mention it. It was my pleasure to make the world safe for humanity again.

G: It should simply be plunge and move on, plunge and move on...

B: That's great - I kill 'em, you fence their stuff.

B: Two points for the Slayer, while the Watcher has yet to score.

B: See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.
G: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.

G: While the mere fact of you wanting to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday...

W: He's solitary, mysterious... He can brood for forty minutes straight. I've clocked him.

W: What are you talking about?
G: What are *you* talking about?
W&B (in unison): Boys!

G: My calculations are precise.
G: I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the 12th century, and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
B: Okay, at this point, you're abusing sarcasm.

B: Cute guy. Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!

G: Follow your hormones if you want.

B: I won't wear my button that says, "I'm a Slayer. Ask me how!"

B: He's not any guy, he's more... Owen-y.
X: Sure, he's got a certain Owen-osity.

O: Well, we could invite the chess club, but they drink, they start fights...

G: She is the strangest girl.

W: I saw on TV once, a bunch of people our age went to a *party*.
B: Wow, I knew being a teenager was so full of possibilities.

G: You have a date?
B: Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow.
G: You're not getting off that easily!
O: Man, you really care about your work!

O: What, she doesn't like to dance?
X: ...You should probably know that Buffy doesn't like to be kissed. Actually, she doesn't like to be touched. As a matter of fact, don't even look at her.

B: A cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer.

B: Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date.

B: If the apocalypse comes, beep me.

X: He's like Super Librarian. Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon.

G: Damn!

C: Hello, salty goodness!

C: Pick up that phone, call 911. That boy's going to need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him.

B: Prophecy, anointed one, yadda, yadda, yadda.

B: Bite me!

O: Are we going to see a dead body?
B: Possibly several.

G: It is you - oh, good.

G: They came after me, but I was more than a match for them.
B: Meaning?
G: I hid.

G: Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires, and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time!

O: I've never seen a dead body before. Do they usually move?

O: He tried to bite me. What a sissy!

B: You killed my date!

O: Does anyone have an aspirin... or sixty?

B: I'm sure this isn't exactly what you had in mind for a first date.
O: Yeah, I was hoping maybe we could finish up with Ben & Jerry's.
B: We still could.

O: I think I'll just walk home... which way is home?

G: I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer.

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