The Harsh Light of Day

B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, O=Oz, J=Joyce
S=Spike, H=Harmony, P=Parker, A=Anya, D=Devon

W: Hey, look, Parker's here.
B: Yeah.
W: You're not looking? He looks really cute in green.
B: Teal. He's reflected in the mirror.
W: You know, when you spend all week with a guy, you're allowed to look at him directly.

B: We hung out moderately incessantly.

W: Buffy's looking at Parker, who, it turns out, has a reflection, so big plus there. Buffy's having lusty wrong feelings.
B: No, I'm not.
W: No, you're not.
B: Oh, I so am.

D: That was, like, the best set ever. We'll do great in LA. We're gonna have them glued to their seats.
W: Uh, Devon? Aren't they supposed to dance?
O: Well, we can glue them to the dance floor.
D: I don't mean with real glue. You got that, right?
O: I got that.

H: You were always funny, Willow. You haven't changed a bit.
W: No, you neither.
H: Oh, maybe a little.

W: Back off, Harmony.
H: Okay, fine. Hide behind your boyfriend. But guess what? I have a boyfriend, too, and he's gonna be mad that you were mean to me.

P: You have a scar.
B: Right... um, angry puppy.

B: Bad, bad Buffy.

P: I'm not doing the deep "get sympathy" routine. I mean, don't you just hate guys who are all, "I'm dark and brooding, so give me love."
B: I don't think I've ever met that type.

B: I sort of drowned a couple of years ago. But I came back. Obviously.

P: I mean, everybody says they get it - "Oh, man, me too. Live for today." But what they really want is an excuse to goof off and not study for finals.
B: Also a valid life choice.

X: I'm not enjoying this.
G: Well, shelve them correctly and we can finish.
X: I just don't get your crazy system.
G: My system? It's called the alphabet.
X: Huh. Would you look at that.

A: You should lock your door.
G: Believe me, I am kicking myself.
X: Anya? The last time I saw you fleeing in terror. How'd that work out for you?

A: So, where's our relationship?
X: Our what? Our who?

X: And there's the whole you used to be a man-killing demon thing. Which, to be fair, is as much my issue as it is yours.

A: I can't stop thinking about you. Sometimes, in my dreams, you're all naked.
X: Really? You know, if I'm in the check-out line at Wal-Mart, I've had that same one.
A: So I can assume a standing Friday night date, and a mutual recognition of prom night as our dating anniversary?
X: Anya, slow down. In fact, come to a screeching halt.

B: This is it. My door. Wood. Maybe some kind of wood veneer.

O: Remember Harmony?
W: She's back from her summer vacation. And she's a little different.
B: Different?
W: Paler.
P: Is your neck okay?
B: Neck. Paler. Puppy! The angry puppy.
O: Yeah, we came to warn you about the... angry puppy.

W: Band-aid, now. Thank you.

B: Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection.

O: Devon dated her for a while, but she was too flaky for him, which, stop and marvel at the concept.
B: Guy dating Harmony dead. Must be, like, the most tolerant guy in the world.

H: How's my little blondie bear?
S: Harm, does this look like a good time to talk?
H: Are you going to kill Willow today? 'Cause I want you to say, "This is for messing with my sweet girl."

H: You almost killed her last year. Suddenly it's a big deal?

H: This one tastes funny. Take me out to eat.
S: He's perfectly fresh.
H: I think I had a math class with him last year, and I didn't like him that much then, either.

P: This is some party, huh? The last days of Rome.
B: It's better. No old Romans.

S: I like him. He's got... um, what's the word? Vulnerability.
B: And you're with Harmony. What, did you lose a bet?
H: Hey!

B: What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?
S: Maybe I dumped her!
H: She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days.
S: Harm!

G: You've done all you can for tonight. Go to bed.
B: Uh-huh. Sleepy. Yawn. Bye!

H: Is Antonio Bandaras a vampire?
S: No.
H: Oh. Can I make him a vampire?
S: No. Wait. On second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well.

H: Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool! Can we eat a doctor so I can get a stethoscope and hear my heart not beating?

S: We've got an extra set of chains.
H: Ew. Just because Dorkus went in for that...
S: Drusilla.
H: Whatever.
S: Say her name.
H: Dorkus.
S: Bite your tongue.
H: Do it for me.

X: So... the crux of this plan is...
A: Sexual intercourse. I've said it, like, a dozen times.
X: Uh-huh. Just working through a little hysterical deafness here.
A: I think it's the secret to getting you out of my mind. Putting you behind me. Behind me figuratively. I'm thinking face-to-face for the event itself.

X: But sexual interc-- What you're talking about, well--and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this--but it's about expressing something. And accepting consequences.
A: Oh, I have condoms. Some are black.
X: That's... that's very considerate.
A: I like you. You're funny, and you're nicely shaped. And frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.
X: And the amazing thing... still more romantic than Faith.
A: Fabric softener.

B: He's not supposed to drink, and I saw him here, you know, in the land of the beer.

P: You think I could get a dance with the prettiest girl at the party?
B: And what do I do, just stand here and watch?

B: One more thing before I go...
P: A kiss.
B: Well, I was going to go with pants, but, uh, a kiss is good, too.

H: You love that tunnel more than me.
S: I love syphilis more than you.

B: You know what? I'm an adult and it's none of your business where I was.
G: I'm sincerely relieved to hear it. Now, can we discuss the impending disaster?

W: Did it happen with Parker?
B: Yeah, it happened.
W: Well, and? Details! I mean, not details, I don't need a diagram. But, you know, like maybe a blurry watercolor.

S: Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything. I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place which has witnessed some truly spectacular kickings of my ass.

H: Ew. Like you're too good to work a clasp.

H: So, is it doing it? Do you feel it? I mean, you don't look any different, if you wondered. I thought maybe you'd look taller, or glow or something.

O: Okay, either I'm borrowing all your albums, or I'm moving in.
G: Oz, there are more important things than records right now.
O: More important than this one?
G: Um, I suppose an argument could be made for...
X: Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV! He's shallow like us.
O: I got to admit, I'm a little disappointed.
G: I-I-I...
W: Well, maybe it doesn't work. It's like art.
G: Uh... public television!

P: Didn't you have fun? Watch out how you answer that, my ego is fragile.

S: What a fabulous day. Birds singin', squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels, sun beamin' down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. Can't wait to see if I freckle.

S: Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way.

S: The gem of Amarra. Official sponsor of my killing you.

H: Being a vampire sucks.

H: He was my platinum baby, and I loved him.

B: So, what I'm wondering is, does this always happen? Sleep with a guy and he goes all evil?

W: He's a poophead.
B: You're right. He's manipulative and shallow... and why doesn't he want me? Am I so repulsive? If there was something repulsive about me, you'd tell me, right?
W: I'm your friend. I would call you repulsive in a second.

B: Do you think that we could still work it out?
W: I think you're missing something about the whole poophead principle.

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