B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, C=Cordelia, M=Master, J=Joyce

U=Ugly Man, Doc=Doctor

J: You want to go to school?
B: Sure, why not?
J: Okay. Good day to buy that lottery ticket.

W: It must have been harsh.
B: Yeah. That's the word you're looking for.

W: My parents don't even bicker. Sometimes they glare.

C: Hello, doofus. You're in my light.
X: Wendell, what is wrong with you? Don't you know that she is the center of the universe, and the rest of us merely revolve around her?
C: Why don't you revolve yourself out of my light?

W: Why is she so Evita: like?
B: I think it's the hair.
W: It weighs heavy on the cerebral cortex.

B: She was wearing that tight sweater?
X: Oh, the midnight blue angora! See, I was listening.

X: Willow's been kind of, um, what's the word I'm looking for? Insane about what happened yesterday.
W: I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for, anyway? I'll tell you - for crawling across your face in the middle of the night. Ewww!

W: How do they not ruffle you?
X: I'm sorry, I'm unruffled by spiders. Now, if a bunch of Nazis crawled over my face...

X: Well, the hellmouth. The center of mystical convergence.
Supernatural monsters. Been there!
B: A little blase there, aren't you?
X: I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party!
B: Thanks for having confidence in me.
X: You da man, Buff!

B: Hey Giles, wakey wakey.

X: Did you find any theories on spiders coming out of books? Big, hairy, crawly... It's funny if you're me.

X: There's nothing *to* say. You saw 200 insects, you gonzoed. Anybody would've.

W: What do you mean, you "love spiders?"
X: It *is* platonic, right?

B: I haven't been to class, I haven't read any of the assignments, how am I gonna pass this test?
C: Blind luck?

Doc: She got off pretty easy.
B: Easy?
G: Have you looked up the word lately?

X: I was dressed a minute ago. It's a dream. It's gotta be a dream. Ow! Wake up. Ow! Gotta wake up!

B: Did you find anything?
G: I don't know.
B: You don't know if you didn't find anything?

B: What am I, knowledge girl now? Explanations are your terrain.

B: Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body?
G: *Astral* body, and I don't know. As usual, one doesn't have an inordinate amount of information to work with.

G: Where are your other clothes?
X: Oh, don't I wish I had the answer to that question?
W: Xander kind of found himself in front of our class not wearing much of anything.
X: Except my underwear.
W: Yeah, it was really... bad. It was a bad thing.
X: Bad thing? I was naked. "Bad thing" doesn't cover it.

X: With nudity! It's a total nightmare.

X: Um, our dreams are coming true.
G: Dreams? That would be the musical comedy version of this. Nightmares. Our nightmares are coming true.

W: Why is this happening?
G: Billy.
X: Well, that explanation was shorter than usual. It's Billy! Who's Billy?

X: And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy!
W: How could he do that?
G: Things like that are easier when you live on a hellmouth.

C: I don't understand. This can't be happening. I was just at the salon!

X: It'll be faster if we split up to look for her.
G: Good idea.
W: Uh, faster, but not really safer.

C: I don't want to go! I'm not even on the chess team, I swear I'm not!

W: I'm not afraid. You'd think I'd be afraid, but I'm not.

X: Someone else's loss is my chocolatey goodness!

M: What's the fun of burying someone if they're already dead?

M: So, this is the Slayer. You're prettier than the last one.

B: This is a dream.
M: A dream is a wish your heart makes. This is real life.

W: I had to sing. Very bad, to sing.

X: Remember my sixth birthday party?
W: Oh, yeah, when the clown chased you, and you got so scared you went... oh.

X: You were a lousy clown. Your balloon animals were pathetic. *Everyone* can make a giraffe!

W: Excuse me, when did they put a cemetery in across the street?
X: And when did they make it night over there?

B: Well, we better hurry, because I'm getting hungry.
X: That is a joke, right?

G: Willow, do shut up.

B: I'm glad you showed up. You see, I'm having a really bad day.
U: Lucky 19.
B: Scary. I'll tell you something, though. There are a lot scarier things than you. And I'm one of them.

Billy: I had the strangest dream. And you were in it, and you...

B: I just can't believe a kiddie league coach would do something like that.
X: Well, you obviously haven't played kiddie league.

B: That was kind of heroic, Xander, grabbing him and all.
X: Well, I just did what anybody else would have... I mean, if you want to label it heroic...

W: When Buffy was a vampire, you weren't still, like, attracted to her, were you?
X: Willow, how can you...? I mean, that's really *bent*. She was... grotesque.
W: Still dug her, huh?
X: I'm sick. I need help.
W: Don't I know it.

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