B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, As=Angelus, C=Cordelia, O=Oz,
JC=Jenny Calendar, J=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, S=Spike, D=Druscilla


V.O = Voiceover. Quotes in italics were taken from closed captioning.

As: (V.O.) Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws... and howl.

As: (V.O.) Passion... is born... And though uninvited, unwelcome, unwanted... like a cancer... it takes root. It festers... it bleeds... it scabs... only to rupture.

[Buffy, Willow and Xander leaving the Bronze, no dialogue heard]
B: It's purple.
W: It's a purple wedding.
B: That's not why I go.
W: Why not?
B: Because. Yubba-dubba-dub-dub.
X: Hey, hey, hey, what are you guys talking about up there?

As: (V.O.) It speaks to us, guides us; passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?

X: A visit from the pointed-tooth fairy.

X: You know, I think there may be a valuable lesson for you gals here about inviting strange men into your bedrooms.

C: Oh, god. I invited him into my car once. That means he can come into my car whenever he wants.
X: Yep, you're doomed to having to give any of his vamp pals a lift whenever they feel like it. And those guys never chip in for gas.
B: Giles, there has to be some sort of spell to reverse the invitation, right? Like a barrier, a no-shoes, no-pulse, no-service kind of thing?
C: Yeah, that works for a car, too?

X: Hello! Excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking?
Kid: We're supposed to get some books. On Stalin.
X: Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?
G: This is the school library, Xander.
X: Since when?

G: So, Angel has decided to step up his harassment of you?
C: By sneaking into her room and leaving stuff at night? Why doesn't he just slit her throat, or strangle her while she's sleeping, or cut her heart out? What? I'm trying to help.

G: It's classic battle strategy, to throw one's opponent off his game. He's just trying to provoke you. To taunt you. To goad you into some mishap of some sort.
X: The "nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah!" approach to battle?
G: Yes, Xander. Once more you've managed to boil a complex thought down to its simplest possible form.

X: Yeah, the more people who know the secret, the more it cheapens it for the rest of us.

G: I told you, I will find a spell.
B: What about until you find a spell?
C: Until then, you and your mother are welcome to ride around with me in my car.

G: I know how hard this is for you. All right, I don't. But as the Slayer, you don't have the luxury of being a slave to your passions. You mustn't let Angel get to you... no matter how provocative his behavior may become.
B: So what you're basically saying is, "just ignore him, and maybe he'll go away"?
G: Yes, precisely.
X: Hey, how come Buffy doesn't get a snotty "once again you boil it down to the simplest form" thing? Watcher's pet.

JC: I might be a little late tomorrow. Do you think you could cover my class until I show?
W: Really? Me? Teach the class? Sure!
JC: Cool.
W: Oh, wait. What if they don't recognize my authority? What if they try to convince me that you always let them leave class early? What if there's a fire drill? What if there's a fire?
JC: Willow, you're gonna be fine. And I'll try not to be too late, okay?
W: Okay, good. Earlier is good. Will I have the power to assign detention? Or make them run laps?

B: Willow, I thought I might take in a class. Figured I could use someone who knows where they are.
W: Sorry, I have to talk to her. She's a teacher and teachers are to be respected, even if they're only filling in until the real teacher shows up, because otherwise chaos could ensue...

G: Since Angel lost his soul, he's regained his sense of whimsy.
JC: Well, that sounds bad.

JC: I know you feel betrayed.
G: Yes, well, that's one of the unpleasant side: effects of betrayal.

J: You can tell me anything. I've read all the parenting books. You cannot surprise me.
B: We're sort of dating -- _were_ dating. Going through a serious off-again phase right now.
J: Don't tell me. He's changed. He's not the same guy you fell for?
B: In a nutshell.

W: I swear, men can be such jerks sometimes. Dead _or_ alive.
B: I just hope Giles can find a keep-out spell soon. I know I'll sleep easier when I can... sleep easier.

W: He's like Book-Man.

B: Hey, sorry about your fish.
W: It's okay, we hadn't really had time to bond yet... although for the first time, I'm glad my parents didn't let me have a puppy.

D: I brought something for you. Poor thing. She's an orphan. Her owner died... without a fight. Do you like her, hmmmm? I brought her especially for you... to cheer you up. And I've named her Sunshine. Open wide!

S: I won't have you feeding me like a child, Dru.
As: Why not? She already bathes you, carries you around, and changes you like a child.

D: We were worried.
S: No, we weren't.
D: You must forgive Spike. He's just a bit testy tonight. Doesn't get out much any more.
As: Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space.

As: As a guest, if there's anything I can do for you, any... responsibility I can assume while you're spinning your wheels... Anything I'm not already doing, that is.

Shopkeeper: How may I serve you today? Love potion? perhaps a voodoo doll for that unfaithful...
JC: I need an Orb of Thesulah.
Sh: Oh, you're in the trade.

Sh: Not that it's any of my business, really, but uh, what are you planning on conjuring up... if you can decipher the text?
JC: A present for a friend of mine.
Sh: Really. What are you going to give him?
JC: His soul.

X: And what did you two do last night?
W: We had kind of a "pajama party sleep: over with weapons" thing.
X: Oh, and I don't suppose either of you had the presence of mind to locate a camera to capture the moment?
W: I have to go -- I have a class to teach in about five minutes, and I have to arrive early to glare disapprovingly at the stragglers. Oh, darn, she's here. Five hours of lesson planning yesterday down the drain...

B: Look... I know you feel badly about what happened, and I just wanted to say... good. Keep it up.

G: I found the ritual to revoke the invitation to vampires.
C: Oh, thank goodness. I actually had to talk my grandmother into switching cars with me last night.
G: The ritual's very basic, actually. It's just the recitation of a few rhyming couplets, burning of moss herbs, sprinkling of holy water...
B: All stuff I have in my house.
G: ...hanging of crosses.

W: I'm going to have a hard time explaining this to my dad.
B: You really think it'll bother him?
W: Ira Rosenberg's only daughter nailing crucifixes to her bedroom wall? I have to go over to Xander's house just to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" every year.
B: I see your point.
W: Although it is worth while to see him do the Snoopy dance.

C: Willow, are you aware that there are no fish in your aquarium?
W: < whimper >

B: Sorry, Angel. I changed the locks.

JC: Angel. How did you get in here?
As: I was invited. The sign in front of the school -- "Formatia trans sicere educatorum."
JC: "Enter all ye who seek knowledge."
As: What can I say? I'm a knowledge seeker.
JC: Angel, I've got good news.
As: I've heard. You went shopping at the local boogedy-boogedy store.

As: You know what I hate the most about these things? < crash! > They're so damn fragile. Must be that shoddy Gypsy craftsmanship.

As: I never cease to be amazed how much the world has changed in just two and a half centuries. It's a miracle to me.

As: "The ritual of restoration." Wow. This... this brings back memories.
JC: Wait, that's your...
As: Oh, my cure? No, thanks. Been there, done that, and deja vu just isn't what it used to be.

As: Looks like I get to kill two birds with one stone. And teacher makes three.

As: Oh, good. I need to work up an appetite first.

As: Sorry, Jenny. This is where you get off. Ah, I never get tired of doing that.

G: The ritual go all right?
W: Oh, yeah, it went fine. Well, it went fine until Angel showed up and told Buffy's mom that he and Buffy had -- well, you know, that they had -- you know... You do know, right?
G: Oh, yes. Sorry.
W: Oh, good, 'cause I just realized that being a librarian and all, you maybe didn't know.
G: Oh, thank you, I got it.

G: Perhaps I should intervene on Buffy's behalf with her mother. Maybe say something?
W: Sure. Like, what would you say?
G: Wh... uh... You will tell Buffy I dropped by?
W: You bet.

J: Don't expect me to ever stop caring about you, because it's never going to happen. I love you more than anything in the world. That would be your cue to, uh, roll your eyes and tell me I'm grossing you out.
B: You're not.
J: Oh, well. I guess that was the talk.
B: So, how'd it go?
J: I don't know. It was my first.

AS: (V.O.) Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief.

W: Was it horrible?
B: Ah, it wasn't great, but at least it's over. Ah, soon it'll be your turn.

B: I'm not worried about what he wants. I'm worried about what he's going to do.

W: Look, all his weapons are gone.
C: But I thought he kept his weapons at the library.
X: No, those are his everyday weapons. These were his good weapons. The ones he breaks out when company comes to visit.

C: So, Giles is going to kill Angel, then?
X: Well, it's about time somebody did.
W: Xander!
X: I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying "I told you so" long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the fiend that murdered his girlfriend, I say "Faster, pussycat. Kill, kill."
B: You're right.
X: Thank you.

S: Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds.
D: But, Spike, the bad teacher was going to restore Angel's soul.
S: And what if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer.
As: Don't worry, roller-boy. I've got everything under control.

As: Jeez, whatever happened to wooden stakes?

S: Uh-uh. No fair going into the ring unless he tags you first.

As: All right, you've had your fun. But you know what it's time for now?
B: _My_ fun.

G: Why did you come here? This wasn't your fight.
B: Are you trying to get yourself killed? You can't leave me. I can't do this alone.

As: (V.O.) It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

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