SunS Quote List -- November, 1997-January, 1998

"Yes, and if it ever happened I would flee in terror and drink large amounts of caffeine. Obviously it wouldn't be Amy, it would be Pod-Amy (who is different from Pod-Amparo, because Pod-Amparo isn't a giant plant thingie, just a NatPacker), and that would be a scary thing, because Amy wouldn't be Amy, she'd be Pod-Amy off wreaking destruction (there's no Destruction here to be annoyed at being wreaked, right?) among the NatPack and the SunS, and we wouldn't be able to sleep because there'd be pod thingies waiting to take over our bodies. Of course, if this all happened at a con, it'd be ok, because who ever sleeps at a con anyway? We'd just have to figure out that Pod-Amy was Pod-Amy (which wouldn't be tough; I don't think *anyone* could imitate Amy successfully, she's a one-of-a-kind) and get Pod-Amy to tell us where Amy was so we could rescue Amy and get all the pod thingies so we could kill them."
"*BREATHE*, Tina!" -- Tina and Dianne

"since we've seen no evidence of him doing anything with his unlife at the moment *but* hanging out with the Slayerettes, one would assume he has a lot of free time to kill." -- Dianne on Angel

"it was pretty much "wig...WAFF...wig...WAFF...wig..." -- Dianne

"Okay, Angel is the Man. I am very impressed with him! Why? Do you know of another guy that could stumble naked out of bed while fighting with a demon inside of him, and get fully dressed (including coat and shoes) by the time he gets outside. Wow! That's talent... Cause I doubt the demon was like "Well, I'll wait to repossess you until after you finish dressing."" -- Abby

"I mean, we *do* occasionally talk about something other than ASH's butt-- that is, his acting-- that is, never mind." --Elaine

"Just one more comment: Dru is a NatPacker! Ahahahahaha!!!!" -- Lizbet

"I think it was here when Perri started the "Look! Angel had a thought!" < tone of shock and surprise > bit..., which, in proper HorseChick style was dragged into: "Had to happen someday"... "I hope it didn't hurt"... and "But it will get lonely!" < g >" -- Dianne

"I think there are a few spaces left in Snack Foods 101, although the section Xander is TAing is probably full..." -- Valerie

"She did call, but she didn't torture. She actually de-tortured, which is an impressive skill and belongs on a resume." -- Lizbet on Celli

"Yeeep! Lizbet wins the "Killer Ways to Spend the 23-Hours-From-Hell Contest! She's *ficcing*?!?!?!?!??!?!" -- Dianne

"They all belong to Joss (who is evil), blah, blah, blah..."
"< Dianne bows head > "Accursed be His Name!"" -- Tina and Dianne

"I'm sorry, I just have to note that this episode has destroyed *everyone's* ability to spell and construct remotely reasonable English sentences. Lizbet, Sasha and a couple others have posted things that looked like they could have been typed by the teeny-bopping Tiger Beat Bronzers." -- Valerie

"Hi! I'm here to help you and to jump your bones... not necessarily in that order...." -- Dianne

"Well, Perri, I *could* have made you little Bertie's loyal Golden Retriever..." -- Lizbet, showcasing her Natpack tendencies again...

"lady bless, this wasn't a TVepisode, it was a kinetic experience." -- Gina

"See, these things start out as jokes, and then, oh, god, they're not." -- Elaine

"And on the subject of gropes and handcuffs, I'm heading out." -- Elaine

"I hereby award Willow Rosenburg the Natalie Lambert Medal of Valor, for perseverance, insight, and sympathy above and beyond the usual call of friendship. With cluster." -- Chris after Innocence

"Xander is a Merc. the chocolate fixation was a tipoff anyway, but the great big BOOM! was the deciding factor. " -- Chris

"David has matured as an actor SO much in the past year. I am in awe... or I would be if I had been coherent when I was watching him and could stand to watch it again in order to analytically study the nuances." -- Lizbet

"How are they gonna fix this? Duct Tape... Lots of Duct Tape." -- Abby

"Okay, I just got up from Yet Another Willow Nightmare (no, he's not finished with her, expect a beta draft later today), staggered into the spare room, turned on my computer, heard Snarky Angel Voice saying "You're standing at the mouth of Hell, and it's about to open," and went through the *roof*. Time to swap out the startup sound for a while. *wig*" -- Valerie

"Me too. Can I have a deluded destiny too? I live in Washington, I need a deluded destiny." -- Gina

"They trully need each other and it's all mixed up with layers of blood and death that give it a kick you don't see a lot of outside Oliver Stone movies." --Sasha

"During the scene where they put the Judge together. Was I the only one contemplating the fact that they could've put his head on backwards?" -- Abby

"At one of the commercials breaks, I was very surprised to find myself perched on the far corner of the back of the sofa. How the heck did I get there??? " -- Betsy

"Fuzzy wuzzy was an Ozzy?" -- Abby

"Is Angel's soul anything like Peter Pan's shadow? Cause he keeps losing it.." -- Lizbet

"Excuse me. I have to go stalk him now. < g >" -- Celli during David's AOL chat

"Little Xander is a terydactyl. I'm not quite sure how that happened. However, if he's truly searched his soul and believes that he is meant to be a terydactyl, who am I to say? There's nothing wrong with it, and I love my son-the-terydactyl. I think it's time to tell him he's adopted, though..." -- Lizbet

"See I can be coherent and thoughtful." -- Mary Beth

"Geez, and on the phone we were all too busy bemoaning that the demon apparently got A's sense of humor in the separation agreement. Didn't note that he's snagged his decent posture too..." -- Dianne

"BTW I have jumped the Oz line (Which I was at the head of anyway cause I picked him during Inca Mummy Girl too and I saw the east coast feed so :PPPPPPP) Come on' tall girls! I'll take you on one at a time or all in group (steel toed boots. natures great gift to the short) Mine Mine Mine!! Read my type No more Ms Nicegirl... You can call me Grabthroat Shinkicker." -- Sasha

"``Dawson's Creek'' failed to hold the entire Buffy lead-in, a surprising development given the buzz surrounding the teen soap, perhaps the most eagerly anticipated new show in the history of either WB or UPN. "
"Heh, try again next week. Most of your dropoff audience was probably on the phone with Lizbet." -- a press release and Celli

Sample: "Honey, before we watch this scene (Buffy&Angel&Leather), we just want you to know that we've already decided how to punish him." (Later, much incoherant babbling and mewling sounds): "We're locking him in a room with Janette and letting *her* take care of him."" -- Lizbet quoting Chris

"I don't know how many times I was told to breathe Tuesday night. < g > GOD, it's going to be so weird. "Oh, look, David's cute... arrrrgh! Hate Angelus, hate Angelus!!!" Lust/hate relationships are *so* difficult..." -- Lizbet

"To hell with that! Being a 6'2" valkyrie has got to count for _something_ here-- Outta my way, midgets! :-ppp"
"Careful, or I'll sit on you again! Y'all can have him when I'm done... Our kids would have freckles. ;)"
"Dianne debates the "And? join the freckle-club, girl! :-p" response for a moment, then decides a good old-fashioned cat-fight sounds like more fun... < *Bonzaiiiiiiiiiii!!!* >" -- Dianne and Abby, first round, the Oz Wars

"Tell me that's not an airborne water buffalo I'm seeing..." -- Dianne

"Man, that guy has balls. I just feel rather like detatching them at the moment, that's all." --Lizbet (on Joss)

"Ave Joss..."
"Thwap Joss..."
"All hail Joss, the powerful and mighty..."
"Kill Joss..."
"We prostrate ourselves before you..."
"...then skin you alive!"
"Ave Joss!" -- Cult of Joss ritual (by Maureen)

"< ListMom *thwaps* Betsy on the head for being a smartass and sends her to bed w/o Giles >"
"That's okay, ListMom. Oliver gets jealous. " -- Dianne and Betsy

"Now I have the cast of Buffy doing West Side Story in my head. Did I *need* this?!?!?!?" -- Dianne

"Except when faced with a sarcastic Plaguelet, in the light of which I start mutating back into the beastly, caffiene-deprived monster I really am... :-p" -- Dianne

"Oh *fine*! Just go running off and leave _me_ to change the ListDiapers!" -- Dianne

"Of course, the fact that they're *still* able to slip "wanker" past the Amer. censors amuses the hell out of me. My friend Abbie pointed out once to me that a huge number of the censors are Jewish, so profane/obscene yiddish words seldom slip through where British terms might. (For example, the substitution of "bugger" for "fuck" in the opening scene of "Four Weddings" when it aired on network. Yeah...*that* was an improvement....)" -- Amy

"This could work. You torture them, then I'll comfort them."
"It'd be a lust 'good cop, bad cop' kind of thing. What are Trills for?" -- Perri and Cath

"This is your mind... this is your mind on Buffy. Any questions?"
"Yeah: If Sunnydale is big enough to have a killer mall, a military base, docks, _and_ a brand-new mini-golf course ... then it *must* have a sanatarium... So how do I get there? ;-)" -- Maureen and Dianne

"I'm clinging with you (I really hope that's a strong shred of hope)." -- Mary Beth

"Um....it's a werevan, and only turns British under the full moon?" -- Valerie

"All right, so I love Angelus. He's evil, but he looks good and has a killer (pun intended, yes) sense of humor. Amy, before you start wigging, let me just add that this does *not* mean that I want him *anywhere* near me. In fact, if he were anywhere near me I would run. Fast. While hunting frantically for a stake." -- Tina

"Yay! Another death threat! I *love* those! Well, from y'all at least. Actual death threats (as opposed to SunS death threats) aren't nearly so fun." -- Tina

"*snipped West Side Buffy*
*breathing deeply*
*beaming proudly*
My work here is done. :)" -- Mary Beth

"Obsessing is generally obsessive, yes." -- Valerie

"Um...why does Angel sweat?"
"Because we have yet to induct David into the Grand High Secret Order of Master Thespians and give him the Sacred Mystical Key to Controlling Inconvenient Bodily Functions. ;-)" -- Amy and Valerie

"But I will continue to post in pieces because I have to stop every once in a while because this is wigging me to tinier bits than the Judge got blown into and if I don't stop I'm going to wind up doing the Drusilla Ooie Dance of Wiggedness down Broad Street and they'll lock me up and THEN where will you be?" -- Valerie

"...a shot of blowing up a Smurf with a bazooka; how much more over-the-top can you get?" -- Kiki

"Yeah, there is that whole wiggy thing about channeling evil vampires. Especially when two out of three of them have serious personality disorders (two out of three vampires have psychological problems; if you're a vampire, shouldn't you come in for testing today...tonight?)" -- Tina

"Given the unholy connection between various SunS brains and that of the Almighty Joss, I must *insist* you wash out your brain with some heavy-duty aniseptic right now, young lady!!!" -- Dianne

"Now remember to be nice, children! No pulling their hair or putting cherry bombs in their diapers... well at least not until they have a chance to get on their little ListFeet-- o.k.?" -- Lizbet

"Betsy, who are you to decree who lives or dies? You're not Dianne." -- Tina

"Um, yes, Dee, that white fluffy stuff falling from the sky is *cold*." -- Perri

"You borrow my neurons WITHOUT asking, mind you, and then you get them all gooky with Dru-stuff. See if I let you borrow anything of mine again." -- Lizbet

"Getting in the middle of a fight? Who, me?? No, no, no, I'm just providing research materials! Not involved in this fight, um, er, "discussion", at all, just sitting here drinking my diet coke and munching my orange. Anyone want a clementine? Dum-diddly-dee...!" -- Maureen

" Oh, Celli? Please? Please? With chocolate and whipped cream and Xander on top?"
"Now, if you change that to "Giles on top" I'll prove to you how bribable I am (although that's not the position I had in mind... < vvVeg >)." -- Lizbet and Maureen

"And what in the heck is "uff-da" supposed to mean anyway? < innocent look of intercultural curiousity >"
"It's what I said the first time I saw David. Does that help? Intercultural curiosity my @$$." -- Dianne and Celli

"And people say Mo and I are entertaining... < g >"
"Watch me not comment." -- Dianne and Celli

"More characters! More gory deaths! More torture! Wooo-hoo! ...um... can we tell why i'm a little _psycho_ this morning?" -- Dianne

"I should probably keep the "horny nun" remark in reserve." -- Dawn

"So if I'm Plague's rommate, what does that make me?"
"Doomed." -- Celli and Dianne

"Man, if I move to California, can I get paid for kissing David?"
"Nope. You have to start on soap-opera dudes, scary Austrian dudes with sulky pouts, then move up to Xander-guys, *then* you get to kiss David for pay. :>>" -- Perri and Chris

"Besides, a grounded Slayer is a town health hazard in a major way..." -- Dianne

"Chris, first it's your story that has me whimpering. Now, it's the spoilers. You must stop. I will not make it through the next week." -- Leslie

"Probably the main reason that I remembered it at all was that the image of an Anime Buffy with huge eyes and hair puffed out in two pigtails is hard to forget." -- Dawn

"I went to high school with these guys... I left Texas to get away from these guys!!!!" -- Perri on the cowboys

"Doom, Celli Doom. Horsechick 005-1/2, Licenced to Annoy." -- Dianne

"That man has world-class rationalization skills... comes out of being possessed and is already babbling something plausible to explain the circumstances... "
"Yep. Well-trained. He could be a fan." -- Chris and Amy

"I finally had a dream about Tony. But I never got to talk to him! *She* (the professor) kept talking to him! And at other end of the room, so I couldn't even see him clearly. They were making a movie, and it had the strangest plot. Something about a GSI (graduate student instructor) in the Andes... I woke up right about the time she was explaining to me why the GSI (played by Tony) wasn't allowed to speak to other Americans. And I never did find out why he had had scenes in that diving bell wearing an orange astronaut suit. Sometimes I scare me." -- Betsy

"I wonder if Cordelia will remember the hard labor she did in the basement."
"If so she will not be happy. She will be haunted for life by the mystery of how her nails got so messed up. And her hands? No amount of conditioner will ever undo the damage. < g >"
"Actually at the time I was laughing at how she-- posessed by psycho bugs and forced into mindless slave labor in a pit-- *still* managed to secure a fluff job. You'll note, she just stood there and polished the eggs other people dug up. ;-)" -- Dianne and Betsy

"Angel has two more stories (at least) to tell me, and he *will* if he doesn't want to fit into an ashtray. < glares at Angel > < realizes she glaring at a fictional character > < doesn't care and keeps glaring >" -- Lizbet

"I can't abide not *filling* a tape. It bothers me. Postage, tape space...should make good, full use of it, you know?"
"Fill it with John Tesh clips"
"Ew!"
"Kathie Lee?"
"EWEWEWEW!!!"
"John Denver? Yanni? Barney!!!"
"What is this, name your devil?"
"New game." -- Amy, Abby tormenting Amy, and Leslie commenting

"I don't know if I can take evil Angel for multiple episodes. Angst for the two-parter i can handle. Ongoing angst may blow my circuitry."
"Agreed. No one can endure that much angst for that long. Well, unless you're Nick Knight." -- Gina and Sheryl

"Returning to IRC, my first reaction (profanity alert) was to type, "shitshitshitshitshit." Pretty soon, I couldn't do that any more; it came out as "shisthissthisthishtsihst." Then I calmed down enough to tell Dianne Chris, and Perri what I'd seen. Then *Perri* started typing, "shitshitshit..."" - Lizbet on the second S/I promo

"It occured to me that Jason would probably love Buffy: Monsters, fight scenes, and a teenage girl in short skirts. He would merrily Buff -- until he found out his 14 year old sister Paige loved the show too 'cause Angel was to *die* for." -- Lizbet on 'Foxtrot'

"Gee, you don't want to know where my mind went at the combination of "Sting, Methos, silk, and chocolate"... o.k., I'm back. < g >"
"I'm not. < THUD >" -- Dianne and Lizbet

"For the sake of space, I will simply say, "Yeah. What she thudded."" -- Valerie

"But it's also okay not to be Horsechick. Civilization is good. You just won't get to take home any cabana boys,'cause Horsechicks don't share, either." --Chaos

"I have mental health?" -- Lizbet

"I refuse to comment on the grounds that my Evil Twin will incriminate me." -- Lynn

"It's one thing to besmirch _my_ honor as a Merc, but you do *not* go calling my Trill a N.... N... *Natpacker!!!* < spits to get taste out of mouth > I have to _share_ that brain, you know! So get your grubby little Natpack paws _off_ it! *Ewwww!* Natpack *cooties*!!! < shudders >" -- Dianne

"I'm being brutalized by fictional characters. This sucks." --Perri

"No I'm not _blind_, guys, just trying to cover my *ss! Shhhh! < scowl >"
"Dear? You're so very uncovered..." -- the KikiDee

"I love it when people see me as sweet and innocent! It opens up so many evil possibilities..." -- Abby

"It could take years. But some day, some way, we'll get her into full-out mindless babbling bliss mode over some gorgeous hunk of an angsty actor, and we'll be proud. Yay. " -- Chris on Amy

"Is it just me. Or does this whole plot (Buffy and Angel have sex, Angel becomes evil) not sound totally like a public service announcement for abstinence. "Watch out kids! If you have sex before you're married, your partner is going to turn into a blood sucking spawn of evil." (Not that most teen boys aren't that anyway....)" -- Abby

"I'm not into consequences much, as a rule. Oh, sure, they keep happening, but that's not because I think they *should*..." -- Chris

"You little liar! You told me you rode the moose to school!" -- Dianne

"nothing embarrassing has ever happened to me."
"Right. And Xander and Cordy share something deep and special." -- Joss and Lizbet

"And *I* love this man. I *must* join the Cult. Cool title or no cool title, I have received a vision and I _must_ follow my little deluded destiny!" -- Dianne

"Get a grip. 'Hi, my name is Angel -- Love me, love my sulk.'" -- Deb

"He is the one. The Grand Poobah of all Poobahs! The wearer of the great purple furry headdress, and shiny round sparkly necklace! Can I join the cult and be the Caretaker of the Divine Furry Hat? Please?" -- Dawn

"I have seen Sarah Michelle Gellar as one of the Spice Girls, and have survived. The rest of the year should be easy after this." -- Betsy

"Question: "If the spoilers as I understand the are true, exactly how much angst will it cause Buffy to suddenly have to be hunting down and killing not only a friend, but the guy she loves, whose very love for _her_ has turned him back into a raging, heartless, monstrous killer? Also, how much of David's bare skin is likely to be exposed in the process? Discuss.""
"Haaaakeeewaaaananananafuuuuuumooochinghiwaaaaaaaalee?.... Oh, hush. I'm sure that meant something in Chinese."
"And here I thought it meant: "What an interesting academic query, fellow listowner of mine! I think, in fact, that we may have a calm, rational, sedate discussion of the matter on this very list!" in the native tongue of the Land of Not-Here? (Of course, you have to say all that with Ken-DRAAAH's accent... :)" -- Dianne and Lizbet

"Have him show a little flash now and again -- well, flash in a reserved English way. Tweedy flash." -- Deb

"You wouldn't know innocent if it came right up and tried to seduce you!" -- Dianne

"Anyone who's ever had a knock-down drag-out argument with characters at four in the morning knows it's true. Obviously, Joss has. And *he's doing what they tell him to do!* Somewhere along the line he managed to learn the concept that the storyteller serves the story, not the other way round.... And the fact that he can play with our minds while being baldly honest that he's playing with our minds is just the *best*." -- Valerie on Joss

"I don't feel that Wow covers it. More like, "Umahmumahum drooool"." -- Perri

"OK, so they were taking European history in the pilot and American history for the rest of the semester... mean, evil, wicked Joss with these hideous plot holes! How dare he! At least FK only had Nick at the Battle of Hastings about 130 years before he was born. Yes, I'm being sarcastic. Deal." -- Lizbet

"I'd hate to kill you only to have you come to my apartment one night and kill me. That would be highly unfortunate." -- Tina

"Angel....Buffy....bed....love...angst. < thud > I saw it. I saw it. < thud >" -- Leslie

"If you're looking for anyone thudding over Jenny's scenes, Lynn, Amy, and I (and anyone else who so chooses) will be off in the corner trying to avoid the flying bodies of those throwing themselves to the ground in angst over the incipient events of the Angel thingie." -- Tina

"Note to self: fandom, freaky." -- Lizbet

"Did you see that butt go by?" -- attributed to Celli by Lizbet

"If a butterfly flapping its wings in China can cause a hurricane in New York, what kind of havoc will a demented chaotic twirling butterfly in Denver cause??? Just things that make you go, "AIIIGGGHHHH!!!! Run away!!!"
"Oh, hush. It'll be good for the Armageddon business." -- Dianne and Chris

"Geeze, Louise, the show (S/I) isn't even for another two weeks, and _already_ it's responsible for causing responsible, intelligent, articulate women to act like total bibbling idiots. < frowns, crosses arms, taps toe > That Joss has a *lot* to answer for. That said... < squeal! THUD > " -- Maureen

" < THUD > I'm OK. < THUD > Really, I am. < THUDTHUDTHUD > OK, I'm not." -- Lizbet

"The Dread Butterfly Kiki! It's like The Dread Pirate Roberts, only with twirling and no pirates." -- Dianne

" < even more juvenile comment, involving ASH, a banana, and *Entrance to Eden*, deleted here, because frankly, I don't need the images *or* the resultant comments > " -- Elaine

"I keep telling people, these mixed relationships work out so much better when the mortal can mop the floor with the vampire..." -- Valerie

"What is *with* this Natpack Flirt-With-Death response? Oh, I forgot, Methos. Shutting up now." -- Chris

"What amazes me is that we're still discussing (off-list) the kind of stuff that leads to embarassing .sig-lines, seemingly unable to *not* risk Death By Humiliating .Sig in order to burble about guys..." -- Chris

"I'm a completely innocent purvayor of doom. Got it?" -- Lizbet

"Ugh. Sentient mind-controlling rats are *not* something pleasant to dream of." -- Tina

"Looking at my inbox; between the HorseChicks and Slayer, my inbox subject lines go something like:
*Bounce*
*Bounce*
SLAYER: Thud
Re: *Bounce*
Re: SLAYER: Thud
Re: SLAYER: Thud
Re: SLAYER: Thud - Reply
Re: *Bounce*
I'm going to sleep now, OK?" -- Lizbet

"Impact craters are NICE things." -- Lizbet

"If you do not post I will have to come do serious damage to you and any body parts you hold dear. Capicse?" -- Lizbet

"Angel. Who's been invited into Willow and Buffy's homes. Where they have relatives. Who don't know about vampires. Who don't know that a cross and a stake are essential, life-preserving things to have in Sunnydale. Where he could get in before the invitation gets rescinded. Eek." -- Tina

"Tina is happy! Robia got a *big* gun!" -- Tina

"....I will freely admit that we frequently check in with the self-preservational instinct, duly note its warnings and comments, and then decide to *ignore* said warnings and do whatever it was that made us feel a need to check in with the instinct in the first place." -- Amy

"Hmmm...and as soon as I read "soul gets ripped out of him", my first thought (being still rather Trek-centric in my fannish thinking, since that's my nice safe place to run), was, "Gee, I wonder where the soul will go between the time it's taken away and the time it's restored. < beat > I wonder who will be the Keeper of Angel's Katra. < beat > Well, of course, the only one adversarial enough is really Xander--..... That was when I interrupted my brain, turned off the auto-pilot, and decided that it wasn't allowed to wander vaguely and untended for a while." -- Amy

"I do *not*, however, maintain that we react with appropriate levels of fear to potential threats (well, except for me; I'm usually pretty terrified). I think that an "eek" is not even *remotely* going to cover this as a possibility." -- Amy

"That's it! If I'm still in Lillooet next year, I might just shack up with someone so I can get satellite access!!!" -- Dawn the Buffy-deprived

"It has been fun, hasn't it. .sigs, corruption, thuds, ep.anticipation, thuds. It has everything a SunS could want ." -- Lynn

"Okay. I've calmed down. My mewling has diminished greatly. Honest!"--MaryBeth

"I came up with the most OUTSTANDING Mangled Buffy quote today. But I have to wait to use it until Celli does something silly, preferably silly in the "I'm a hick from South Dakota, what do you expect?" sense." -- Lizbet

"Not that it made what came out of our mouths any *different* from normal, mind you. We just weren't responsible for it." -- Valerie

"No, no, no! Do something geeky-like. Klewless. I wanna use my line."
"What would you like me to do, chew on a stalk of wheat and use 'ain't' a lot?"
"Nah. Using one of your weird Norwegian noises would work." --Lizbet & Celli, Roomies-to-Be, or Sordid Movie-of-The-Week In-The-Making??? Tune in next week... (commentary by Dianne)

"Note to self: Smother Celli in her sleep when she gets to LA..."
"Not if I get to you first... :)"
"Taking bets, folks. How long after the lease is signed will both of us be alive and who is going to win?" -- Lizbet and Celli, future roomates from hell

"I'll see that < thud > and raise you a < *SQUEAK* > "
"I'll see you both, and raise you a YeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeewhatthe helldowedonow????????????" -- Lizbet and Valerie

"You got to do the Jingle Bang with Giles... you should be kissing her feet, no? " -- Dianne

"Val, now careening off into visions of Willow still recovering when Angel gets his soul back, and his reaction, and trying very hard to *stop that right now*..."
"No kidding, thanks to you guys my muse is already trying to write post-hurt comfort fic to try to patch up *things that haven't even happened yet*!!!" -- Valerie and Dianne

"I'm about to declare Sasha our own private little health-hazard..." -- Dianne

"Is it just me, or do you all think Xander looked up to Fozzy as a child?" -- Abby

"There are probably shots to cure us. "
"Shots? There are shots now? When did that happen?"
"When doctors met Dianne. ;)"
"Now, Abby...that's not fair. Poor Dianne's not here to defend herself."
"Safest time to insult her.... -- Abby, Leslie, Abby, Amy, Perri

"What? I was net-deprived, stressed, frustrated, and horrendously bored at work for nearly a _week_! You're just lucky I didn't start a War, or a Cult, or something..." -- Dianne

"Joss is...I think I've run out of words that imply combined worship and desire to assassinate." -- Gina

"Ave Joss. The bastard." -- Chris

"Beth tried to hurt me...it was very tragic..." -- Celli

"Lizbet, if you're right this time, we're sending you to a deprogrammer so you can reclaim your neurons from Joss and stop scaring the rest of us." -- Chris

"I made up my very own Xanderism today and am extremely proud of myself." -- Mary Beth

"If it NatPacks again, stake it again." -- Dianne

"Yup, the List Mom is now a creaky old 28... so beware!"
"Oh, PLEASE! Pfffffffffft. Give me a break. The day I can't handle a geezer like you is when *I'll* need to collect my social security checks." -- Dianne and Lizbet

"Pardon me while I blink." -- Celli

"I really have to beat my brain into submission more often." -- Dianne

"Some of you will be very happy, some very angry, but ain't nobody gonna nod off."
"And the one word I have to say (profanity alert): Shit."
"You were kind, Lizbet. I think I'm gonna have to fictitiously rip Joss' throat out." -- Joss 'Fearing for My Safety' Whedon, Lizbet, Sheryl on Surprise and Innocence

"It's normal because we all do it which makes it sane... I'm _scared_!" -- Celli

"I'm feeling a bit silly today. I'll try to spare you all, but I can't guarantee you won't be the victim. You've been warned." --Betsy

"Just a little pre-Thanksgiving wiggins for all my fellow SunS, whom I love dearly and who I know would *never* hurt me. *smiles sweetly, bats eyelashes a mile a minute*" -- Valerie

"I'll take torture anywhere I can get it." -- Lizbet

"Give in to your destiny, Abby. *eg* Join us, and together we can rule the galaxy as NatPackers. Oh, that brings up disturbing imagery of Darth Vader bouncing and eating Dove's Dark Chocolate Promises. Amusing imagery, but disturbing nevertheless."
"No... Tina.... There is another Mercenary... C'mon Dianne. You were my Yoda!" -- Tina and Abby

"So? How many .sigs am I in *today*???" -- Dianne

"They steal, I kill. Any other silly questions?"
"Oooh, pretty, bright, shiny *and* dangerous. Anyone up for a fun little game of keepaway? *giggle*" -- Dianne and Jennie

"Can I make Xander naked too? Could lead to some interesting questions..."
"Like: "Will Abby go to work for Playgirl when she grows up?"" -- Abby and Dianne

"Never try to out-revenge a delirious devious butterfly..." -- Kiki

"Oh, I was *so* easy!" --Maureen

"Dawn looks at the above paragraph and decides to leave it as is -- don't want the record for crazy Canadians to be besmirched" -- Dawn

"Mostly she just re-deads the undead." -- Sasha

"You just volunteered me to drive in a big city. That's not democratic, it's suicidal." -- Celli

"I just hope you never, never learn the Dewey Decimal system. I'd be afraid for the organization of my books if you did (Oh, look, Tina's bookshelves obviously need to be organized. I've got a new toy!)." -- Tina to Amy

"Perhaps a little exploratory fic of a Buffy/Xena crossover is in order." -- Lynn

"You're still not infatuated with that cheesecake are you?" -- Lynn

"*beam* Feeling verrrry proud at public acknowledgement of accomplished accomplishment...." -- Amy

"Celli, Celli, Celli.... Once the vamps attack at night, it's not gonna matter! All of the Authenticity Nazis are gonna be diving for cover!" -- Perri

"The talking fish just.... nnnooooooo Make it go away...." -- Abby

"Guess my Muse just doesn't "play well with others" - and isn't that *just* the kind of Muse I would get?! Sheesh!"
"Maureen, your muse plays just *fine* with others... 'course it kinda resembles a cat playing with a mouse, but it *does* play..."
"Of course, generally _I'm_ the one being batted about, and usually wind up covered with dust under the bed. That didn't come out quite the way I intended..." -- Maureen and Jennie

"Tina must die. This is a given. The "how", "where", and "when" are still being determined..." -- Maureen

"Heeee! Ahem. I mean, disaster, that's---interesting. In a twisted and disturbed way, of course." -- Chris

"Hey! My name's in Tina's sig and I didn't *do* anything! It makes me look bad!"
"Hey, when you've been .sigged for utter _silence_, come talk to me, sweetie... " -- Celli and Dianne

"Yeah, right - she has a very calculating *thud*. And when viewing shirtless Angel, she's _very_ cold and factual!"
"Cold fusion, maybe? And I do mean fusion... Leslie, just HOW close to the screen do you get? *g*"
"Are we talking centimeters or inches?"
"Maybe we should be talking millimeters... or microns?"
"I was thinking atomic units..." -- Maureen, Lizbet, Leslie, Maureen, Lizbet

"This is how NatPackers show affection. Sort of like a cat, bringing you its favorite dead thing." -- Chris

" I'm *way* too tired to have a killer-death-blood-feud-for-no-particular-reason-'cept-it's-fun! with more than one person at at time...!" -- Dianne

"O.k., droolers! I'm now taking suggestions privately for your favorite characters' outfits at moonlight@pobox.com... (When in doubt, cheat! < g >)"
"Angel naked. See, that wasn't hard."
"Sorry. See I believe in only stealing from the _best_... and, well, that's already been done.... Now, Angel in a _bodice_..." -- Dianne and Lizbet

"Anne Murray is as deeply as I go into that particular psychosis." -- Chris

"I love Duncan dearly, but he and Xander just set off my older sister instincts of 'I have to smack you now'." -- Chris during VR5

"O.k., maybe it'd just be easier if everyone closed their eyes for a while... and put their heads down on their desks... *g* (Juice and graham crackers will be distributed shortly." -- Dianne

"If I act wildly drunk and then collapse completely, will you be kind enough to tell the EMTs that it's just a little Bloodstone Vengence Spell? I could use the company in my padded cell and all... it'd be lonely without all my SunS-shaped friends! *g*" -- Dianne

"I have a dream! It's a beautiful dream. I dream of a day when I will manage to be breathing and _still_ never make the quote list!!! I *believe*!!! Say "Amen," sisters!!! (Stop laughing at me! :-ppp)"
"Oh, I will... as soon as Perri and Tina stop collecting your posts in toto for the SunS quote page..." -- Dianne and Lizbet

"Gee, I wonder if the Count was the cause for my interest in vampires...'One! One cute angsty vampire! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!'" -- Lizbet

"See? There's just so many ways that this could go, and so many of them are ugsome." -- Lizbet

"I'm sure that must have been the thought I wanted to share. I think." -- Tina

"I'm convinced that someday I will die, and there will be a party, and I will *still* make the *&^%! quotelist!" -- Dianne

"*AH-HAH!* She's found a way to use katana space to store her mounds and mounds of books! This could be the greatest breakthrough in civilization since the invention of the paperback! We must discover her secret!" -- Dianne

""Whimper cascade," the result of four not-quite synched TVs playing the same episode and four not-quite synched HorseChicks shuddering or cooing at random..." -- phrase by Dianne, explanation by Lizbet

"Joss is God, Joss is insane.. God is insane... Hey! Suddenly the universe makes sense." -- Sasha

"I think Giles is going to kill Cordeila. I just get this feeling. The girl raises tactless insensitivity to an art form and one day he is going to invite her into the library for some tea and we'll never hear from her again." -- Sasha

"I think the Slayeretts are all going to given a very thorough "Safety with Crossbows and other pointy objects" Lesson real quick!" -- Sasha

"*Whimper!* Pain... evil... *bad* Jack Tripper!... no, don't eat... Mommy!" -- Maureen

"Come here, baby, I'll comfort you when that bad technopagan tells you to "give her space". I don't need any space between us at all..." -- Maureen

"O.k., latest tangent beaten to a really bloody pulp and then staked. Next?" -- Dianne

""Silly Watcher! Vamps are for *Slayers*!" (Oh great, now Giles is a big cartoon rabbit in my head... did I _need_ this image? I don't *think* so! :-p)" -- Dianne

"Got Stake?" -- Sasha

"*However*. *sigh* When you can tell she's depressed because she *doesn't* have serious cleavage or bra straps showing... something's wrong with this picture." -- Chris

"See Xander be Xander. See Xander eat cookie. See Xander be Ted. Bad, cookie, bad! See Willow grab cookie. See Willow perform complex chemical tests on cookie. See Willow discover drugs in cookie. Good, Willow, good!" -- Lizbet

"ATTENTION!!!! *Some* people are having just a little too much fun at the expense of other people who are being tortured enough right now as it is by the evil Joss who must be revered (darnit)." -- Mary Beth

"Me: Buffy drags Angel kicking and screaming into a relationship
Joss: Angel and Buffy trade off who gets to be neurotic that week" -- Lizbet, on What I Got Wrong

"A guy's not interesting anymore if I can see him in full sunlight. Sheesh. You know, this could cause problems with my current relationship." -- Celli

"Do the words, "Sick, twisted, obsessed puppy" mean anything to you."
"Yeah, you know, she's just going by 'Lizbet' now..." -- Lizbet and Dianne

"So now we know Oz can say "Canape?". Whoop-de-doo. *sigh*"
"Yeah, what's he up to now? A 20-word verified vocabulary? :-p" -- Valerie and Dianne

"Ah, the abusing Angel portion of the season..." -- Val

"I love Joss. Really I do. But trying to outguess him is making my brain hurt." -- Perri

"Join the rest of us as we mewl away the days until Joss inflicts more torture upon our favorite Undead Dude." -- Mary Beth

"Tortured Angel. Naked Angel. Naked tortured Angel. WAIL!" -- Lizbet

"Does that mean Ford went to Heaven when Buffy staked him?" -- Lizbet

"Am not sick! Am a writer. Pbbbbbt."
"'A writer is a lot of people trying to be one person.' I can't remember who said it, but he was a famous writer. Or a multiple personality disorder candidate. Which may be the same thing." -- ??? and Dragonheart

"Oh, *that* game. The one during which time Lizbet and I freely insult each other's antecedents and alma maters while butchering each other's fight songs. *That* game?"
"Yup! THAT Game. Shall we do a chat?"
"That would be evil. Let's!" -- Perri, Abby, Celli (on the USC/UCLA game)

"I was talking about real people, not AOL-ers." -- Betsy

"Pardon me, mind if I drool, rip at your clothes, and have your first three children? Thank you." --- Lizbet

"I'm never, never, ever saying another word on this accursed list ever again! Especially not when I'm sleep-typing. I _swear_! No! I *mean* it!" -- Dianne

"O.k., now reality check, Take 2: We have a 16-year-old in spandex working out in the _library_ with Mr. Giles after dark in a completely deserted school. Ex-*squeeze* me??? I mean, not only can I not come up with any possible reason for her to have been annoying the hell out of Giles, who was trying to work, but can we say "PTA gets one look at this and has a coronary"?" -- Dianne

"You have too many thoughts. Especially since so many of them seem to be not yours." -- Lizbet

"Kinda like Angel in The Dark Age... most of us were going: "OK, gratuitous David-must-get-paid-this-week scene... OH, he *DOES* belong in the plot!" -- Lizbet

"Imagine the surprise of my family when I scream "Ethan!" and fall off the couch within the first ten seconds." -- Sasha

"Betsy? Bite me. Hmmm. Since for many of the Angel Droolers that's not a bad thing, we've got to come up with something equally not-bad for the GASPers. Catalog me? Cross-referance me?" -- Lizbet

"Have Ye not Watched Buffy??? Then Ye know not the true path!! Repent 90210ers! and Follow Buffy!!" -- Sasha

"Could you keep the thudding down, please? Some of us are trying to watch the show."
"Do the words "so very beyond involuntary" mean anything to you?" -- Betsy and Valerie

"Angel-lunge rugburn" -- Mary Beth

"Whew! I've got deniability!!! *EX*-cellent! " -- Dianne

"I was the one keeping the quote list because I had the greatest chance of remaining conscious." -- Chris

"She's always known how to run, and now she's learning how to fight, if not in the "beat them into little tiny pieces of pulp, throw kerosene on them and light them on fire before throwing the charred bits of flesh into a cement mixer" style of fighting that Buffy uses." -- Tina on Willow

"Now, if only he would be smart and stop following up the shooting with rushing the vampires."
"Um, yeah. Reloading comes to mind as a much more effective option..." -- Chris and Valerie

"And can I just say, re: Cordy & Xander---AMTRAK!!!!" -- Chris

"What _are_ you gonna do with that set-up but have them stomp maggots and kiss???" -- Dianne

"As to what happened...Leslie went thud, Perri whimpered muttered profanities at the screen, Tina watched very interestedly, Sheryl went, "Ooh," Valerie went, "EEEEEGH," and much drooling was done, except for by Amy, who was very busy being highly interested in the interplay between Kendra and Dru and watching the Amazing Wandering Accent. She was just being Amy." -- Tina

"Kendra causes the lamp to go spuh in a mildly big way, luckily, as we all know that otherwise it would have attempted to kill someone, this being Sunnydale and all." -- Tina

"Hey, hey, HEY! That's *my* death-wish. You give it back! *pout*" -- Jennie

"I don't know, Angel's been talking about Willow calling him to tell him her plan. He's torn between, "WHAT?", "What library paste *have* you been smelling?" and "Buffy's in danger? Let's go!"" -- Lizbet after 'The Dark Age'

"I worry about Angel's sense of self-preservation if he doesn't know better than to appear unannounced *behind* Buffy." -- Valerie

"Any villain who can kill two or three birds with one set-up is someone I want to have come back for tea again and again. Plus, he's still owed a smacking around by the Slayer." -- Chris on Ethan

"I mean, digging up a body is no small amount of work; it takes time and perseverance [Also, apparently, the efforts of a smartass teenage American guy and a restrained-smartass middle-aged British guy]." -- Elaine

"Shoot me, stuff me, mount me. Please."
"OK. Any reason for the homicide, taxidermy and trophy work?" -- Betsy and Lizbet

"YES! I do love it when I'm right. Joss and I are linked. We are one. I have oneness with Joss. Oooooohm..." -- Lizbet

"How about: "Sticks and stones may break my bones... but I'm coming over there personally to rip your lungs out now!" ? (So it doesn't rhyme... You got a *problem* with that?!?)" -- Dianne

"Go away! I'm not home! Nobody here!"
"Hah! I see her! "Guys! Over here! Gina! Story! Basement! *Now*!"" -- Gina and Dianne

"I am Dianne la Mercenaire. You insulted my factionhood. Prepare to die." -- who else?

"DATELINE: Arlington, VA: The SunS mourn the tragic loss of their ListMom today. Dianne la Mercenaire, noble and revered Co-Founder of the group, passed away this afternoon at approximately 1:55pm EST of oxygen deprivation and multiple contusions apparently sustained when she ROTFLed herself to death on the floor of her 6th floor office cubicle.
When asked for commentary, former Co-ListMummy and close friend Lizbet -- apparently confused and distraught-- muttered something variously described by bystanders as "Mine!Minemineminemine!," "There can be only one!," and 'an unintelligable evil cackling'. A SunS who refused to identify herself said: "At last! We are safe from being .sigged by the Dead Bird Woman groupie!"
When asked about her feelings on the list's recent loss, member Maureen Wynn was heard to comment: "She died? That's new. Interesting." When further queried she modified her statement, adding: "Yes, yes, yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it. Damn it."
Other ListMembers declined comment." -- Dianne

"Many things are possible in a War... like a vampire playing strip poker, fr'instance. Oh, hey, there's a nice image to picture Spikey or Angel in, huh? Ooh, just listen to all the nice *thud*s!" -- Maureen

"I hate you. I hate you all. :-ppppp"
"Oh, the widdle Mercie is so *cute* when she's all mad and everything!"
"I'd be getting all of this on the Quote List, but it's just the ritual Dianne torture, so why bother?"
"Great, now I'm a cliche..." -- Dianne, Maureen, Perri, Dianne

"What started to wig me ever-so-slightly while writing on this was the realization that Dru & Spike probably have the most stable, healthy (and certainly long-term!) relationship in all Sunnyhell :-)." -- Dianne

"You have no idea what a mess one can make simultaneously drooling upon and resoundingly thwacking him..." -- Val on Angel

"Angel gives good thud. Joss gives good wig." -- Leslie

"But I just like weapons! *rubs wallet suggestively* They make me feel all _Mercly_..." -- Dianne

"That's the problem with Mercs! *scowl* You agree to run a guild and you _still_ pay... and pay... and pay.... :-p"
"I don't think your Mercs would be happy to be compared to a deaf wolf, even if it meant Paul Gross was following behind." -- Dianne and Lynn [Ed. Due South reference, couldn't resist. Three, three, THREE fandoms for the price of one!]

"Hey, it's me! If someone else is getting ritually tortured, I want to know. 'Cause it gives me a happy!" -- Dianne

"You could also put a Tribble on your head, wear a strangely shaded vest and call yourself Nick. It doesn't mean we want to be forced to see it!"
"...it wasn't a tribble. It was a chinchilla. And an undead one at that..." -- Abby and Dianne. Obscure FK war reference. Just don't ask.

"I know. I'm sick and twisted. It's a flaw."
"I like needy vampires... oh, did I say that?"
"SHUT UP, you undead smartass!!!" -- The Lizbet .sig, courtesy of Celli

"Channeling: it's not just the spiritualists of the 20's. It's the fanfic writers of the 90's." -- Tina

"You know you miss the sheer unadulterated pleasure of doing it for chocolate..." -- Abby

"Joss, thou art god. Thou art evil. I art a wreck." -- Gina after 'What's My Line I'

"I just thought I'd call and share the pain." -- Leslie's one coherent sentance after WML I

"They're the sweetest couple in Sunnydale, with the healthiest relationship I've seen on tv in a while... just because they're psychotic, bloodsucking creatures of the night is *no* reason to be so judgemental!" -- Dianne

"If I'm right, all the Angel droolers will be in bad shape next week: "They're hurting him!!! But he has his shirt off....*sigh* No, no, NO! Bad Spike! Bad! Oh, wow, look at *that*..." ...*wg* Pass the popcorn. The real show's gonna be in Chicago and L.A., and wherever Leslie is."
"Oh, great. Now I'm a floor show."
"With all the *thudding* you do, what else would you be but a floor show?" -- Chris, Leslie, Betsy

"Finally an explanation for why bumblebee brains is a few honeycombs short of a hive." -- Sasha on Druscilla

"What's a life?
"That cool thing other people have." -- Abby and Debra Ann

"Note the level of *terror* that would ensue in anyone from "outside" trying to read this..." -- Amy

"I'm not going to ask what he's doing in her room. "
"Theirs is a misunderstood love..." -- Debra Ann and Abby

"Do I deserve a spanking by Spike and Angel? Huh? Huh? Do I? I've been a baaad girl... "
"Miss Abigail has spoken out of turn and shall have no cakes today...."
"How about a spanking from the stern librarian? I'll be the ashamed student that forgot to bring her books back on time!"
"I'm only surprised this list didn't go there sooner... and have maps mass-produced..." -- Abby and Dianne

"Maureen, oh-so-patiently waiting for Monday's episode...."
"Well, then you're doing way better than me.... I have the clawed walls to prove it. " -- Maureen and Leslie

"I've got it! Oz is a werewolf! A nice, cuddly werewolf, but Willow better keep her "phases of the moon" screensaver from hitting full..."
"Well, I mean. Buffy gets to kiss Angel. Xander had Ampada and bug lady. I think Willow deseves a better inhuman creature of darkness to fall for than an Internet demon! Could make for a cool ep:
BUFFY: Step aside Willow. I have to slay fur boy.
WILLOW: Touch my boyfriend and the next time you kiss Angel you'll know what the term "licking an ashtray" really means!"
-- Lizbet and Abby (about seven months before 'Phases' aired)

"Damn, ASH is talented.... well, and sexy. Yes. Ahem." --Chris

"...of the three shots that Betsy grabbed here, all three are glass-less. Just things that make you go, "hmmmmmmm.""
"//frowns in confusion// I thought those were things that made you go //pant// //droooool...// //*THUD*//?" -- Amy and Dianne

"How did every twisted evil thing in the known universe get to be my fault?"
"They're not *all* your fault. Some of them are Joss's." -- Lizbet and Perri

"Love all the drinking game stuff everyone's been doing... But if we all ever got together and did this game with say... whiskey.. wouldn't we die?" -- Sasha

"Angel! Here Angel-Angel-Angel-Angel! Spill it, boy, or I'm gonna have to beat you to death with a nice sun-dried stake!" -- Dianne

"Major 'Only the Lonely' flashbacks here." -- Dianne

"And they really need to take Ethan who needs spanking and not in a good way." -- Chris

"I heard "Deirdre?" and I mutter to myself: "That strange shrieking noise I'm hearing is the sound of Lizbet having a screaming nervous breakdown somewhere across the continent in about three hours." -- Gina

"So much for the pleasing fiction of owning my own brain." -- Lizbet

"No, actually, that would have been the sound of *me* having a screaming nervous breakdown at that very moment. Actually, I didn't. I went something like this:
Running English Guy: Deirdre.
Val: *Shit*.
Jack: //laughs//" -- Gina, Lizbet and Val

"Valerie the Happily Decongested and Antibioticked Vampire Assaulter" -- Val

"Willow is such a natural Ship's Counselor, complete with big flashy sign over her head saying "Spill Your Guts Here"." -- Valerie

"'Scuse Valerie. She will be back shortly, once she has retrieved her jaw from the impact crater *very* recently formed nearby..." -- Valerie

"Sunnydale Emergency Roadside Tombstone Service! Stones Engraved While-You-Wait! Discount for Bulk Orders! Special Rush Order Guarenteed Completion *Before* Sundown!" -- Dianne

"Breathe in... breathe out... Ooh, the pretty bright sparklies have gone away, and the world has come back! What a difference oxygen makes." -- Maureen

"Wow. I've messed with someone's reality. And I didn't even do it on purpose. Cool." -- Elaine

"...and in either case Xander would follow this with cutting Angel's head off at the earliest opportunity and suddenly here would be the messy Joss promised us." -- Sasha

"Oh, come on Dianne. Admit it. It's the first step to self-actualisation. *VEG*. And stop wigging or I'll...well, I'll do something nasty, like make pins that say: "Dianne has converted to the NatPack", and distribute them around the attendants at MediaWest. *VENG*"
"*weary sigh* Which would just force me to make up "Sorry, but I must kill Lynn now-- Help me hide the body?" counter-buttons. Could get ugly, dear. No one wants that..." -- Lynn and Dianne

"I'm channeling a disassociative psychotic demon of the night who pouts at dead birds. How pathetic is _that_?"
"Given that I'm channelling said psychotic demon's MOTHER...?" -- Dianne and Lizbet

"Just call me Dru and send Angel over. Really. Please. I want Angel to torture me..." -- Lizbet

"*VBEJoss-likeG*" -- Lizbet

"Now it's important for you to *listen* to these voices and do exactly as they say, Willow is the most important one to listen to. (Cause if you channel her she can't come after me)" -- Sasha

"Besides the last three times I got into working on something The-Great-Evil-One-Who-Is-Joss Kerblamed it, and I mean but good. I hate that." -- Sasha

"Are you being stalked by a fictional character? Post to the SunS. Pass it On. *vbg*"
"Hi, I'm Dianne, and I'm being stalked by half the damned cast..." -- Sasha and Dianne

"I do think there is a certain potential to a Cordy/Xander romantic encounter... It would be fun to watch... the same way that public executions used to be big crowd pleasers (you can't beat the drama and hey... as long as it's not happening to you).... I can't see them as a long term item. Still, it could be very maturing for both of them. If they both survived." -- Sasha

"Let's face it, if Xander and Cordy had gotten any closer their tongues would be communicating personally." -- Leslie

"I'm *so* glad we at least got a kiss before their "something horribly wrong" happened. (I was also sitting there going, "See, Nat, Nick, a bell can go off and you *can* still kiss! Well, at least until the population of the space you're in explodes..." Cross-pollinating fandoms are a thing of evil and a joy forever.)" -- Valerie

"Okay, I think I've figured it out. Cordy has a perfectly good brain, but she's running it on nickel-cadmium batteries and keeps forgetting to recharge them. And obviously there's a short in the automotive-skills region that drains them instantly." -- Valerie

"Joss is evil, Joss is God. We are unworthy to be in His presence - but if we ever are, we're gonna slap Him silly!" -- Maureen

"So, is someone keeping the list of Reasons Why Joss Must Die? Does anyone have a hard drive that big?"
"You know, I'm thinkin' that if Joss ever *does* get to know us well, restraining orders will be involved." -- Dianne and Celli

"Okay, I'm all right."
"Or as close as you'll ever get to it..." -- Maureen and Dianne

"Plantive: The SunS
Defendant: Joss Whedon, aka "God"
Matter of contention: Custody of the Cerebellum Malidictus." -- Lizbet

"Buffy as Ilsa, Angel as Rick, Xander as Victor Laszlo, Giles as Captain Renault, Willow as Sam..."
"Say again, please? Couldn't hear you over all the *thud*ding." -- Maureen and Betsy

"I was wondering how Xander would have reacted to Willow's outfit actually and I don't think he would have gone nonverbal. In fact, I think, had Willow come down the stairs dressed in her skimpy-not-a-ghost outfit He would have taken one look and his Ego and Hormones would have conferred in a split second chemical reaction that would make it clear that Willow, whom he considers *his* responsibility/ property (even if he may be in denial about possible deeper feelings), was dressed in such a way as to advertise to other males. this is not acceptable. especially not after the Buffy incident earlier. He would have opened his mouth and said something along the lines of "You look like a hooker" or "Trick or Treating at the Docks?" or one of his Cordy is a Ho staples. Willow would have marched upstairs and hanged herself with the ghost costume and Buffy would have staked him for being an imbecile on the spot. End of series slayer goes to jail." -- Sasha [Ed. Yes, I *did* have to quote the whole thing!]

"Myself, I think Ethan was just a few sandwiches short of a picnic." --Maureen

"'Solid' meaning the TV Guide description, any information released from reputable sources, etc. Your uncle's cousin's best friend's belief that Spike and Willow will make it by the end of the season doesn't count."
"Uh, what if my uncle's cousin's best friend is Joss? It isn't... but what if?"
"Excuse me, I have to go thwap the Merc now..."
"Hey! Someone had to say it! We're not allowed to question the wise and wonderful list mummy now? *g*"
"Well, um, no. Next utterly ridiculous question?" -- Lizbet and Abby

"You can just _smell_ the laughing gas in the room, can't you?" -- Kiki, re: Perri & Tina watching 'Halloween' over the phone

"Hi, List Mom, we missed you! Okay, we missed having you to pick on, but that qualifies as missage." -- Maureen

"I have to go back and do some rereading but didn't Drucilla have a bird cage in one fic? Rather big one as I recall. I must find out who plotzed during this episode." -- Sasha

"Where did Angels soul go when his inner demon had no competition? Was he in Heaven? Hell? Limbo? Philadelphia?" -- Sasha

"At approximately 9:59 pm EST, Leslie lost consciousness. Efforts to wake her have failed. It seems she saw some amazing scenes with a dead boy she likes...." -- Leslie

"//Dianne does her best to adopt Angel's "Cordelia's _stuck_ to my arm/chest/side... make her *stop*???" look of panic//" -- Dianne

""take my memories and opinion with anything you find appropriate..." - Dianne"
"Oh *Bit...! *sigh* oh, never mind..." --- Maureen's .sig and Dianne

"The only thing worse than having an evil Angel telling you stories in your head is to have a semi-sane Dru telling stories... *eeeeep!*"
"Try a still-wiggy, Dead-Bird-Woman Dru telling stories... her interpretation of "chronological order" and "cause and effect" are... um... 'interesting'..." -- Lizbet and Dianne

"Great, that's all we need, a bunch of demonic creatures of the night with coffee nerves." -- Perri

"Ya know, from all the *notbounce*es we've had on this list lately, you'd think we have a chapter of the Anti-Natpack here, or something. Come on, let's get it out in the open! *Bounce*-ing is nothing to be ashamed of! It's even socially acceptable (in most cultures - we won't say anything about what *bounce*ing means in the Masai culture... *g*). So go ahead, Slayers and Slayerettes, *bounce* all you want! *Bounce* to the store, *bounce* to the gym - actually, if you *bounce* enough, you won't need to go to the gym; it's a naturally aerobic exercise! *Bounce* those pounds off, and have fun doing it! The message brought to you by the National Board of the *Bounce*, sponsored by Boing! Shoes." -- Maureen [Ed. Yes, I *did* have to quote the whole thing. Shaddup.]

"Emma and (absolutely) tlhe Canterbury Tales are out of copyright. Ok whos doing shakespear? The Vampire of Vencie, Buffy V, As you stake it?, King Lear (Common Cordy is a shoe in "Speak, Fashion and be silent" Val that would be natural for you... considering Or even an absurdist take off like Rosenberg and Harristien."
"Much Ado About Vampires...with Xander and Willow instead of whatshisname and Hero, and Buff and Angel as Beatrice and Benedick. And Giles as Dogberry. *snerk*" -- Sasha and Celli

Merchant of Sunnydale...
"If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you prick us, do we not bleed?"
"No."
"Oh. Never mind." -- Celli

"The quality of slaying is not strained;
It droppeth as the sudden blow from heaven
Upon the vampire beneath. It is twice blest--
It blesseth her that stakes, and he that dies."" -- still Celli

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