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3.11 Incubator

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
Richard Manning Ian Watson July 13, 2001 3.11
Everything you ever wanted to know about Scorpius... but so didn't want to ask!

Best Lines
Pilot: I'll wake you the microt Moya senses anything.
Crichton: You the man. (he leaves)
D'Argo: Let him sleep for 12 arns. Don't wake him up, no matter what.
Pilot: Agreed.

Linfer: Scorpius' obsession with wormholes is making him irrational.
Pilot: Scorpius is not alone in that regard.

Crichton: This is what we're arguing about? The chance to stay cooped up with each other? If I was Moya, I wouldn't want us here either.

Jool: The others are still arguing; that's what we do best around here.

Jool: Funny how you support Pilot only when you both want the same thing.
Crichton: That's crap, Jool.
Jool: The truth is never crap.

Crichton: It's not mine to give. Remember what the Ancients told me?
Scorpius: John.
Crichton: If you're not smart enough to discover it for yourself, you're not smart enough to use it wisely.

Nurse Froy: My duty is to Scorpius!
Braca: < punch > So is mine.

Crichton: You ever think you've been on this boat way too long?
D'Argo: Constantly. But so far, all of the alternatives have been worse.
Crichton: Well, here's to that changing.

Kiki Says

Perri Says
Well, you have to admire Scorpy's persistence, if you don't admire anything else. Which I don't, by the way; I still feel no sympathy for the guy. Yes, he had a sucky life. Yes, his 'upbringing' from the Scarren psycho wasn't one that would give us a happy, healthy individual. Yes, there may be genuine loyalty and dedication to the Peacekeepers lurking under there. However, none of that changes the fact the universe would still be a far better place if Scorpius was dead. < shrug > The one and only point I'll really give him, is that he genuinely cared about his mother's death.

The rest of it.... well, I'd dearly love to hear the Scarren's side of that story. 90 unsuccessful attempts to cross Scarren and Sebacean, just see what would happen? Why allow the cross-breed to gestate in the Sebacean host when they know she'll die -- not enough tech to do it any other way? And these are the people we're worried will figure out wormholes? And all that energy Tauza dedicated to screwing around with young Scorpy's head and body? Just for the sake of seeing if this species they hold in utter contempt could have any genetic value? Uh-uh. I don't think so. There was something a lot deeper going on there, and I want to know what.

I'll give young Scorpy credit for hiding that one talent that they might have been looking for -- that whole thing about the heat patterns is deeply cool. And he was certainly good at taking care of himself. I'd really like to have met his mother... (And kudos to Evan Sheaves, for a really wrenching performance as young Scorpius. I can feel for the kid while still wanting the adult dead.) All this is, of course, assuming Scorpius was telling the truth as he knew it, but he's never been one to bother lying.

One of our Flunkies, Tina, pointed out that the John in Scorpy's head (henceforth referred to as Holojohn) is understandably still pissed off as hell -- his life stopped while Aeryn was dead. Of course, he's going to do everything in his power to make Scorpy's life miserable, and what a delightful turn-about for a Harvey of John to be messing with Scorpy for once! Scorpy's argument in favor for making sure PKs got the technology instead of the Scarrens was almost good enough to convince Holojohn, but he underestimated his opponent. Holojohn -- our John, pre-Green and Black, pre- any of this other mindfrelling -- knows that the possibility of the Scarrens getting the wormhole tech is better than the PKs having it for real. It's a gamble, but one I have to agree with.

And speaking of Johns being pissed as hell.... is it any wonder John Green is obsessing on wormholes again? Aeryn's gone; she's been off on Talyn with John Black for long enough that John Green has got to know she's not coming back -- not to him, anyway. And it's Aeryn that's been the foundation for John's stability since Scorpy put that chip in his head, and before. So, with her gone, he's going nuts looking for that wormhole, that way home and out of the nightmare his life has turned into. It's turning him into his usual narrow-focus self, without Aeryn there to slap him out of it, and D'Argo just doesn't have the right touch.

Although I'm consistently amused that the fastest way to get either John or D'Argo to do something is to mention "the girls" and taking care of them. D'Argo is actually turning into the Daddy of the crew, where Zhaan used to be -- looking after and refereeing between "the girls", and taking care of John in the end (and they have slammers in the UT?!?). These two have come so far since the days when all D'Argo wanted to was to beat the crap out of John.... But D'Argo was absolutely out of line with the "that's the attitude that got Zhaan killed" crap. He can be as angry as he wants about Zhaan dying -- god knows the rest of us are. But this blaming John dren has got to stop.

And I now officially adore Jool. That was some serious compassion there helping Linfer die the way she wanted, and she sure tossed that "The truth is never crap" back in John's face without blinking. She reminds me a bit of Cordelia on Angel -- never a comfortable conversationalist, never a comfortable personality. But you'll always know where you stand with her, and there's a lot of heart under all that attitude. Go, Jool; kick John's ass and keep kicking it, as long as you fight fair. It's good for him.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to think of Lt. Braca. On the one hand, he's a good soldier, a loyal sidekick, and brighter then I've been giving him credit for. On the other hand, he's given all that loyalty to Scorpius! But then, I guess Scorpy's quest for a wormhole weapon is a Good Thing from the PK point of view, and working for a half-breed doesn't seem to bother him (weird as hell for a PK) -- in fact, he seems to admire Scorpius a lot. I think I've gone from the point of regarding Braca as a nonentity to actually wanting to learn more about him. David Franklin gives a great performance.

Linfer... Now there was someone who was too good to be true. It seems odd to find someone in the Peacekeeper Corps -- in any role -- who will actually go haring off to find someone, to do what she feels needs to be done, regardless of possible consequences. So, a good person, I think, within the confines of that 'what she feels needs to be done'. I've got serious problems with her trying to steal Moya from the others (and more serious problems with the relative ease with which she found Moya. Yes, the wormhole nexus is supported by canon, but it's still awfully damn convenient). But I respect the hell out of the way she chose to go out when her experiment failed.

So, we finally get Scorpius' past, and had not a few questions answered -- how did a Scarren/Sebacean half-breed come about, how did he get such high rank in the PKs, all that good stuff. But, truth be known, I could have lived without that much information. The rape scene alone was way beyond what I needed. < shudder > Not a comfortable episode, but it would have been worse if the three or four different storylines had been as integrated as they needed to be. But at least it moved the arc along, and did give us those answers.... even as it opened up some brand new ones.

3.12 Meltdown

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
Matt Ford Peter Andrikidis July 14, 2001 3.12
Talyn is lured unwillingly into a sun, as malfunctions aboard leave his crew hyper-adrenalized, and Stark makes a New Friend.

Best Lines
Crichton: "Look, Crais, before we all go crackers -- hey, baby, how you doin'? -- maybe we should get some space suits, masks...?"

Crichton: "God-like alien. Man, do I hate god-like aliens! I'll trade a critter for a god-like alien any day!"

Crichton: "The mist is not your friend."
Aeryn: "Right. Bad mist."
Crichton: "Naughty mist."

Rygel: "Right. That's done it. He's gone."

To truly appreciate this bit, fill in the grunts, moans and cheesy sax music yourselves. We can't do it justice
Crichton: "Are you done?"
Aeryn: "I'm almost done. I'm really close."
Crichton: "Close?"
Aeryn: "Nearly there."
Crichton: "God, I love you."
Aeryn: "I love you, too."
Crichton: "Tell me when you're done."
Aeryn: "I'm nearly done."
Crichton: "Tell me when you finish."
Aeryn: "I....."
Crichton: "Yeah? Yes?"
Aeryn: "Almost..."
Crichton: "Yeah?"
Aeryn: "I'm nearly done."
Crichton: "Tell me when you're finishing."
Aeryn: "Last one... Finished!"
Aeryn makes an amazing athletic leap into John's arms as he braces her against the wall and they begin making out next to the conduit they were repairing. Get your minds out of the gutter!

Aeryn: "Frell!"
Crichton: "Yeah."
Aeryn: "No, no, I mean bad frell!"

Crichton: "Thanks for watching my backside."
Aeryn: "Couldn't help myself."

Aeryn: "Stark, you listen to me! You try anything like that again and I will personally take you to the other side!"

Crichton: "Aeryn is my Zhaan. She's my Zhaan in every way, I love her, and I would die for her and you know what, Stark? You're killing her. You're killing her, you Freakazoid psycho bastard, you're killing my Zhaan!"

Mu-Qillus: "Stop what you are doing!"
Crichton: "Is there some kind of stupid alien quotation book you guys use?"
Mu-Qillus: "A deal between us can be brokered."
Crichton: "Lava boy, you are losing!"
Mu-Qillus: "A compromise assures your survival."
Crichton: "Again with the quote book! Hey, quote me on this -- we're gonna blow up your fuse box!"

Aeryn: "What about other Leviathans you'll encounter?"
Mu-Qillus: "Why should that concern you?"
Aeryn: "That was the wrong answer."
Crichton: "Sorry."

Crichton: "Damn, Smoky, you can't argue with a woman!"

Kiki Says

Perri Says
Oh, dear. After weeks of pretty much non-stop angst, I guess the writing staff felt we needed a break. (They were right.) I certainly hope they thought that, anyway, because Your Faithful Tour Guides spent this entire episode giggling their asses off!

Most of the fun in this episode came from everyone's reactions to everyone else -- Crais' barely-concealed disgust at the John-Aeryn PDAs, Aeryn's incredulous 'whatever' face and laugh when Crais tries to give her orders, anyone's reaction when they see Rygel, the Lean, Mean Eating Machine. Their actions are perfectly rational and reasonable; it's everyone else who's losing it. The rest of the fun comes from a weird range of details -- Paul Goddard's hopelessly scene-chewing performance, the wonderfully cheesy sax music in the background of every John-Aeryn scene, the hysterical angel/devil makeup jobs on the two guest actors (she knished? Nice Jewish girl, apparently).... I could go on. Everything was played just on the edge of too much, so that the sneaking suspicion always lurked: "They're not really taking this seriously.... Right?" It works in the way the best of the old 40s space operas work today -- with the audience laughing helplessly at the sheer badness of it all! All we needed was a couple-three robots in the front row....

The entire opening scene with Crais and Xhalax was a lovely mind-frell the first time around, when we had no idea what we were getting into but, seriously, John's out of his mind if he thinks Crais would ever go back to the Peacekeepers (still not sure about the Aeryn part), Crais' reaction to that much of an adrenaline overload notwithstanding. Paranoia, check. Control freak tendencies in overdrive, check. Delusions of captainly grandeur, check. Xenophobia (he never did refer to Stark as anything other than 'the Bannick slave'), check. But, for the record, Bialar dude, two things. One, telling someone you're trying to save them just before you start shooting is not calculated to instill trust. And two, giving Rygel orders is pointless at the best of time, and hazardous to your health at the worst. :P Learn from this experience.

And how much do I really need to comment on Rygel's new application to Overeater Anonymous. :P Yechk.

Man, John and Aeryn were straight out of a piece of 'shipper fanfic -- one of the funny/bad ones. Not in the sappy, over-the-top way of that last scene in Green-Eyed Monster, but in the laughing, teasing, making-out anywhere and anywhen wish-fulfillment way. For all the nastiness of the situation, the adrenaline rush from the drexim mist gives our two favorite angst junkies the excuse to be silly in their relationship, to have fun with sex and just being together. I approve! And watching the two of them be completely unable to be in the same room and not be touching (read: stroking, grabbing and feeling each other up in ways ranging from the subtle to the TV-M) was, well, sweet, mind-altering substances aside. When they weren't biting clothing.... And, of course, hearing all of the innuendo and 'I love you's being tossed around casually in the course of saving the ship and each other was just... coool. That's how a relationship between two action heroes should be!

(On a more depressing note, you have to feel for John Green, back on Moya, who is almost certainly clinging to the hope that Aeryn will come back and have somehow 'saved' herself for him, the 'real' one. Not going to be a fun scene when the crews reunite....)

All the things that normally annoy the hell out of us about Stark are exaggerated to total insanity this time around, somehow making them so much more tolerable than when we're supposed to be taking him seriously. His overly-compassionate determination to help Sierjna would be endearing, if it wasn't in such complete defiance of everyone else's odds of survival. His delight in being Talyn's Pilot would be cool, if letting a guy with highly questionable sanity bond with an immature baby gunship wasn't such a spectacularly bad idea. (Oh, the screams from Denver and Chicago....) But showing Stark talking to and escorting Sierjna from Rygel's POV (uber-solicitous arm around empty air) was genius, and watching Crais cut him out of the pilot attachments was just classic! This is the most fun I've had watching Paul Goddard work since his introduction (although I'm with one of our flunkies, Tina, who firmly believes that associating Aeryn to Zhaan that closely in Stark's mind has an even chance of making him go Stalker Boy eventually).

And let's discuss the wonderful overacting of our guest lady! I haven't seen that much heaving bosom and clutching, desperate hands since the last time I threw popcorn at the summer melodrama back home. Lord have mercy. It's a tribute to the actors and the director that her levels of overacting mesh perfectly with Stark -- both of them are so in synch that you can almost believe that both of them really are taking all this that seriously. Which doesn't stop you from giggling or reaching for the mute button, depending on your tolerances, but what the hell. And Mu-Quillus, for his part, desperately needed a Snidley Whiplash mustace he could twirl as he taunted Stark and Sierjna. What does it say when the Big Bad in the devil makeup gives the most subtle performance in the bunch?

By the way, a pilot for Talyn isn't worst idea I've ever heard; in fact, it may be the best. While Crais is fulfilling most of the emotional and intellectual roles of a pilot god knows he doesn't have Talyn's best interests at heart. A real pilot, devoted to Talyn and Talyn alone, and taught to deal with the peculiarities of leviathan psychology, would probably be the best thing that could happen to our baby gunship. And wouldn't you just love to know what Stark saw in Talyn's mind about Crais while he was there....?

All in all, a lovely break from the angst-fest that is Farscape these days. A hilarious episode on a level completely different from any of their previous comedic outings -- sadly, it doesn't hold up as well on the second viewing as 'Out of Their Minds' and 'Through the Looking Glass' still do, but it's a fun ride, nonetheless.