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3.13 Scratch N' Sniff

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
Lily Taylor Tony Tilse July 21, 2001 3.13
Protesting an enforced vacation from Moya, John tries to tell Pilot about the subsequent kidnapping, sex, drugs and extraterrestrial violence the quartet encounters on a so-called peaceful planet.

Best Lines
Crichton: I can't believe you pissed him off.
D'Argo: I didn't piss him off, you pissed him off.
Crichton: You did!

Tralk: Can you handle some girls looking to party?
D'Argo: I am a full-blooded Luxan -- and ladies, I have so much cash in my pockets that I can assure you that all three of us will be out of here on our hands and knees come sunrise tomorrow morning. And I've been arrested for saying exactly the same thing on four different planets.

Crichton: Um, D'Argo? You're gonna kill her.
D'Argo: At the moment, I do not have a problem with that.

Crichton: It's a weird universe, man; you don't know that because you spend all of your time indoors!

Crichton: Harvey shows up now and then to give me bad advice.

Raxil: Two guns? I mean, I thought you were the great Crichton and D'Argo! I mean, you blew up a shadow depository! I mean I thought you'd bring pleshfer charges and a plasma gun and a really big gun ship! But no, you bring nothing! Two little weapons that wouldn't kill a negnek!
D'Argo: You... have heard of us?

Raxil: Please don't hit me, please don't hit me!
D'Argo: WHAM
Raxil: All right, you can hit me just once, just once!

Crichton: How long have we known each other?
Pilot: Approximately two and a half long cycles.

Pilot: And why does he not look that way now?
Crichton: .... Metabolism?

Crichton: Does this guy just scream 'Vegas' or what?

Chiana: How's your neck?
Crichton: It's fine. I don't mind sticking it out for you.
Chiana: carefully removes ocular You don't want these broken.
Crichton: You okay?
Chiana: ...Yeah.
Crichton: Good. She takes off Weird.

Chiana: Sad thing is, he's gonna die happy.

Crichton: You know, your eally should get out more. These things do happen.

D'Argo: What he didn't believe you?
Crichton: No.
D'Argo: Then what was that thing about a slim duck?
Crichton: Slam dunk.
D'Argo: Whatever, it doesn't matter. He's throwing us off Moya!
Crichton: Yeah, well, you want to give it a go?
D'Argo: looks at Pilot
Pilot: growls
D'Argo: ...No.
Crichton: See? I did my best.
D'Argo: Your best was to blow it.
Crichton: I did. My best.
D'Argo: Well, you blew it!
Crichton: D'Argo, he's kicking us off Moya because we argue.
D'Argo: He's kicking us off Moya because you argue!
Crichton: We!
The fight degenerates from there...

Crichton: What, you're a girl, I'm gonna to open the door for you? open the door!
D'Argo: I'm older than you, show some respect!

Kiki Says

Perri Says
Whee! The crew is on drugs for the second week in a row, and they took us with them! And we got to go to the beach! If the opening scene in the bar wasn't warning enough that this was going to be a weird one, the scene in the window with John and D'Argo (and John's utterly priceless girlie-scream when he realized what he was wearing) should have done the trick. If it didn't, there's just nothing I can do for you. < g >

Seriously, this is another episode that belongs to the crew; the utter surrealism of the whole experience had very little to do with what any of the actors were doing. Telling a story in retrospect is a hallowed tradition, with its own special quirks and, as usual, Farscape manages to push every single one of those quirks to the breaking point. The insane rotating, speed-up/slow-down directing, the in-and-out flashes and speed-ups of the editing, John's narration, D'Argo dancing like a white boy, the disjointed plot with lots of little swiss-cheese holes in it that could equally be due to us not supposed to be noticing because everything's moving too fast or because John is just that bad of a liar (or that wasted)..... If you can't keep track of what's going on, don't worry about. Just kick back those raslaks and try not to worry too much.

Once again, our jolly crew's growing reputation bites them in the butt (and can I just say that, of all the editing turns in this episode, I think I liked the perfect quick cuts in Raxils' pissed-off 'the great Crichton and D'Argo!' riff the best?) John and D'Argo, on the loose together -- K'halaan help us all.... < g > The Boyz's constant bickering is amusing as hell, as usual, although I can totally see where Pilot would have had more than enough of it at this point. No referees in the form of Zhaan and Aeryn anymore; if I had to live with them, I'd have done a lot worse than kick them off the ship! < snicker > But they continue to be intensely cute by putting almost all of the macho crap aside in order to save their girls. D'Argo's reaction to meeting Harvey was also very cool, and wow, is he picking up John's slang! But guys, when trying to sell a story.... leave the drinks planetside.

(Oh, and D'Argo's older than John? Since when?)

And the weird competitive bonding thing Jool and Chiana had going (and yes, we did catch the subtext < rolling eyes >) was also amusing as hell. Jool's little athletic display was pretty impressive, but not as impressive as Chiana's continuing off-hand precognition (she saw that punch coming. What's up with that?). And I can't say I'm thrilled with Jool's new do -- her hair really does look better down. But she does a good job with what she's given, although Gigi has much more of a chance to strut her stuff, and is terrific. Gotta love Fe'Tor getting taken down by his own drug; just gives me this warm, fuzzy feeling all over....

Francesca Buller does her usual wonderful job -- it takes talent to play three completely different small people in elaborate (and awesome) makeup. < g > She manages to deliver an entirely different breed of psycho this time around, the really annoying kind, no less! It was certainly fun to try to figure out what side she was on (besides her own), especially since there was no way in hell to predict her actual motivation. Hangi was also damned neat; scientifically hugely unlikely (so, what -- merged minds through the tentacle things?), but so cool , who cares?!? Major kudos to the Creature Shop for this one.

Unfortunately, I think they financed the makeup on Raxil and D'Argo (pheromones as a disguise? huh?) and the cool critters by not spending any money on anything else. The club is done well, but can we talk about the beach scenes, with the plastic blow-up chairs, and the IKEA-furnished condo? And the alien women made alien by dying their hair funky colors? And the big molded plastic milking chair? Oy.

As for the structure that may loosely be described as a 'plot'.... Well, it was certainly interesting. < g > I'm with Pilot; I don't know how any species could lose that much liquid and not be extremely dead, and they neatly wriggled out of explaining that little point. Or how species as divergent as Nebari and whatever the hell Jool is can produce the same substance upon 'milking', but whatever. The Rohypnol/Ecstasy parallel is blatant, of course, and enough to give a very uncomfortable overtone to several scenes; taken seriously throughout the episode, they would have been severely uncomfortable. < shudder > The auction is saved from equal (albeit cheesy game-show) discomfort mostly by the sight of Our Boyz storming to the rescue in their own inimitable (and hilarious) fashion. An awesome caper, thank you very much.

By the way, my instincts say Crichton isn't lying -- he just doesn't have the imagination to come up with this silliness, no matter what drugs he was taking, even with D'Argo's help. < rolling eyes > But I'm not by any means in love with that theory -- John and D'Argo together could be just dumb enough to try to sell this story. Regardless, far too much fun was being had by everyone backstage, and those of us in front of the screen appreciated it! But we do advise liberal application of popcorn -- to your brain or to the screen, whichever you choose. Obviously, they're softening us up for the angst-fest that 'Infinite Possibilities' will almost certainly be, but who are we to object?

3.14 Infinite Possibilities 1: Daedalus Demands

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
Carleton Eastlake Peter Andrikidis July 28, 2001 3.14
An old friend returns to challenge John about the wormhole knowledge the Ancients left in his brain, leading John back to Dambadam and a confrontation that could rid him of Harvey once and for all -- or get them all killed.

Best Lines
Crichton: You think I'm crazy?
Aeryn: I've always thought you were crazy, you know that.

Crichton: You're a mind-reading alien, like my dad. Don't you know when I'm speaking the truth?
Crichton: Sorry to screw up your life again.
Aeryn: Yes, obviously now it's all your fault.

Aeryn: If you hadn't fallen into a wormhole, you never would have met...
Crichton: Rygel?
Aeryn: Furlow, I would think, is a better match. You could pool your knowledge and chase wormholes all you want.
Crichton: Furlow, yeah, she's sexy. She's a good one to take home and meet the folks.

Crais: He said help me, idiot, not chant me over to the other side!

Furlow: Well, well, well, if it isn't my favorite fly boy. Just couldn't stay away from me, huh?
Crichton: What the hell happened to you?
Furlow: Oh, I'd be happy to tell you all about it if you just CUT ME THE FRELL DOWN!

Stark: (to Crais) Let me be your eye.
Rygel: Perfect. The half-blind leading the blind.

Jack: Give me the tools so I can open this up.
Furlow: Give me one reason why I should.
Aeryn: Can I give you two? We just saved your life, and this gun.
Furlow: ...Fair enough.

Charrid: You don't dare kill me!
Rygel: Don't I?
Charrid: The others want me alive!
Rygel: Yes. Well, plainly you're unaware of one more fact. I don't care a garanta's brax what the others want.

Furlow: That alien... Why didn't you tell me?
Crichton: I think I did.
Furlow: ...Fair enough.

Furlow: We're closed, you thoddoes!

Aeryn: Is there some way to transfer energy? Can you... link his mind with mine?
Jack: Aeryn Sun, John already has your strength.

Stark: It's working, it's working!
Crais: Is the navigation console responding?
Stark: No, but I'm feeling better!

Harvey: Help me, John!
Crichton: Go to hell, Scorpy! For everything, there is a season -- a time to keep, and a time to cast away!

Kiki Says

Perri Says
Yay! Your Obnoxiously Fangirl Tour Guides are always delighted whenever the Farscape PTB find a reason to bring back the cute and talented Kent McCord. We like it even more that they needed to do that 'previously on', or anyone who missed first season would have been totally lost. Continuity just rocks our little world. They brought up all three galactic powers discussing the wormhole tech, including the Nebari, they reused the dangler of that wormhole information beautifully, they reused the Ancients equally well, and they kept the techobabble to a minimum! I love this show!

Gotta tell you, the best part of the episode may be the teaser; if we have to get exposition, John/Aeryn pillow talk while snuggling continues to be the way to go, man! We all needed to pause the tape and hit the showers for a second (like it's not hot enough in Chicago!).

John and Aeryn are so married these days, seriously. They tease, they complete each others' sentences... I gotta say I'm worried. One of the Flunkies has had a standing bet that one of the John's is gonna get sent back to Earth; my standing bet, now, is that it'll be John Black. Lots more fun angst when Moya and Talyn reunite that way. :P Assuming we weren't right in the first place and John Black doesn't buy it, which is looking frighteningly possible. Still, the undercurrent of John wanting to go home, and Aeryn very reluctant to accompany him, was subtlely and beautifully done, and very painful just to watch.

It's nice to know the Ancients found a home world; they were pretty cool last time we saw them. And I must say the effects on 'Jack' are a hell of a lot better this time around, done in CGI instead of a puppet -- he looked cool instead of deeply cheesy. And the character himself just rocks -- he deliberately stayed behind, left his people, to try to keep the wormhole technology from being misused. He's definitely one of the good guys, and not adverse to using his superior technology/abilities to get the job done, unlike a few other groups on other shows I can name (*cough*Tollans*cough*). I appreciate practical people, and Jack is really, really neat on a personal level besides.

I'm less happy to see Furlow, who continues to be utterly obnoxious. I'll admit she's an interesting character, a smooth liar, and a truly superior engineer, with some great dialogue, but I can't deal with anyone who's that willing to sell potential deadly technology to the highest bidder. She's got nerves of steel, and a fast mouth, but I wouldn't want to be trapped with her, particularly not if my survival clashed with hers. :P A great repeat performance by Magda Szubanski, but it's a little scary to know just how close Scorpius' merry crew is to figuring out the wormhole technology. The phase stabilizer Furlow created is way too similar to what Linfer's gang came up with.

Great fight scenes on Dambada, considering that it was a very low-budget set outside at least. Inside, the set rocked, and the running firefights were very well choreographed and directed. Talyn's dive-bomb was cool, but poor Talyn! (I won't say poor Crais, 'cause, well, Crais) the writers continue to make great and logical use of Talyn and Crais' bond.

Nice how well Harvey is getting to know John's buttons -- pointing out the risk to Aeryn is a great way to get him to not do something. But he pushes it too often, wearing it out -- that program just has not learned subtlety. It's good to know that the writing crew continues to come up with new and weird sets for Harvey and John to interact in. But it'll be even better to know that he's just not home any more, at least in one of the Johns, assuming John doesn't lose this fight. God, I hate seeing Ben in that damn makeup. And that final fight on the bridge -- wow. Almost as effective as that freeze-frame of Aeryn, with the single tear. Just rip our hearts out a little more, guys....

Every once in a while, we're reminded of two things about Rygel. 1) He comes from a long and proud heritage, which he is not necessarily the best representative of. Sounds like those Hynerian ancestors were brave and determined, throwing that many bodies at the Charrid to get them off Hyneria (Rygel's reaction to Aeryn, and the way he got into the fight, suggests they were volunteers). 2) Rygel is a dangerous and amoral little bastard, given the motive and the chance. Mind you, that Charrid was basically begging to get killed, but Rygel took far too much pleasure in obliging him. < shudder >

So, lots of fun in store for us next week -- destroying a Scarren dreadnought, Harvey versus John Round 42, and something very nasty for John Black if he doesn't come out on top. This is just so not good -- and I can't help remembering the myth this story arc is named for. If Daedalus, the builder, equals Jack.... let's just say Icarus (Crichton?) didn't walk away from his landing. Given how tightly written, beautifully directed and tense this week was, I think I'm gonna need a teddy bear for next week. Or a lot of alcohol.