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4.19 We're So Screwed 1: Fetal Attraction

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
David Peckinpah Geoff Bennett February 28, 2003 4.19
A desperate plan endangers most of Moya's crew, as they follow Crichton onto a Scarren-controlled station in a last-ditch attempt to rescue Aeryn.

Best Lines

Kiki Says
Perri Says
"I love waiting to see how things go south." Well, you can't say we weren't warned going in. Any plan which requires John to pretend to be a Peacekeeper is destined to self-destruct in some icky way, period. The fact that we haven't seen the fallout yet means nothing....

Every once in a while, Buckwheat's less savory talents start coming in handy in the damnedest ways. <. g > Gotta love Rygel sometimes; I'll even admit that Sikozu did good getting Noranti aboard as a doctor, and playing the little twit (albeit a reasonably competent and almost sufficiently paranoid twit) she was flirting with. But the handmelty thing? I have Issues and I want an explanation. (I also note that she was all in favor of waiting for Scorpius, while she'd roll her eyes at everyone wanting to wait for anyone else. Whatever.) Noranti, for her part, did carried it all off with style -- ever think you'd be glad to see that "I'm going to go use my drugs on someone" expression? Well, until you realize what she actually did.... < rolling eyes at ruthless Granny > I'd be screaming if it had been anyone but Rygel. No, I'm still screaming -- contagion, Granny! I can't argue her logic, but her methods, as always, make me want to rip my hair out, even as I have to kind of respect her. At least, for once, she seems to have recognized the consequences of her actions. And Rygel was actually pretty good with her, bless him. Sometimes, he actually says the right thing, and you can believe he was a real Dominar.

And, to give the devil his due, nobody does "utterly unimpressed by bureaucratic crap" like Scorpius, and lord knows no one lies better with a straight face. Of course, since it's hidden behind all that leather, he does have an advantage. And why am I not surprised to find that Sikozu comes from a race of genetic bureaucrats? Everything becomes clear....

After two episodes, I think it's safe to say that I hate the Vreena the Collaborator Bitch worse than anyone I've ever seen on this show, up to and including Scorpius and Grayza. At least those two are straightforward about being power-mad zealots; you know where you stand. The bitch tries pretend to be your friend, to justify everything nasty that she's done, and is more of a sociopath cut loose than the other two put together. What she was like before the Scarrens took her, I can't begin to speculate -- but I'm betting it wasn't a vast improvement. She has to keep trying to convince Aeryn that giving in and going along is the only right thing to do -- because that's what she's convinced herself, and everyone who agrees is one more brick to build into her justification. And the rest of the Kalish on the station are just as frelling bad; I'm building up quite the dislike for that race, right up there (down there?) with the Nebari.

So you can imagine that watching John play on the make and bribe the bitch to get on the freighter made Your Faithful and Low Tolerance Tour Guide violently ill, but watching him take her down was a delight! Followed immediately, of course, by the sucking of getting caught and tortured, but the subtext of Scorpy's arrival on the scene was just hysterical. The multiple levels of interaction going on between them, with the other two completely clueless.... Way too much fun.

Your Faithful and Hopelessly Romantic Tour Guide must coo at the D'Argo/Chiana scene. They're so sweet leaning their heads together and.... I'm never giving up hope for those two, not ever. And another heartfelt coo for John and Aeryn at the end, are curled up and happy. A few moments of safety and happiness before all hell breaks through... sometimes, it's all you can ask for. But the concept of Chi as surrogate for Aeryn's baby? Yee. (Your Faithful and Horrified Tour Guide doesn't want to discuss the "procedure", except to ask why Farscape must always be horrible, and that, exactly, those scary-looking but impractical tubes were intended to do. < shudder > Actually, no, we don't want to know. We're just going to go somewhere and hide.)

Random notes: Ministry of Dissimulation? I thought they called that the White House Communications Off... no, wait. That's us. But doesn't it sound like such a Scarren or Peacekeeper thing? And I have to say, massively icky makeup on Rygel, man. Fabulous job either by the Muppet Workshop, or by the FX crew, but, yuck. Not to mention more of Scorpius' bodily fluids. Ish. As for the entire vampire coffin scene with the old movie film? I have only one thing to say:

HARVEY LIVES!!!!!!! (Even if he's saying annoying things like go back for Scorpius.) Whee! We missed you, man!!! Stop broadcasting stuff to Scorpius and we'll throw you a frelling Homecoming Parade!

A wild ride of an episode; it's always so much fun watching Our Crew work together in spite of themselves. And finally getting Aeryn back almost makes up for the crap I'm sure will shortly be inflicted on us.


4.20 We're So Screwed 2: Hot to Katratzi

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
Carleton Eastlake Karl Zwicky March 7, 2003 4.20
Crichton leads Moya's crew on a suicidal venture to start a civil war, rescue Scorpius and emerge alive from a secret Scarren base currently swarming with representatives from nearly every enemy Our Heroic Crew has ever made. But that's okay -- they've got a plan....

Best Lines
Coming, well, eventually.

Kiki Says
Perri Says
I gotta say, this is the stupidest plan Moya's crew has come up with since they boarded the Peacekeeper Command Carrier -- and we know how well that didn't end. And when you bring a thermonuclear bomb into it? The mind boggles at the sheer insanity, nay, stupidity of it all. Mind you, the strategy of the dead-man's switch and selling the wormhole knowledge and playing everyone in the frelling universe off against each other isn't intrinsically bad -- it's just stupid!!!! Except for the part where John is letting the bad guys figure out how to get them out alive. That's brilliant. < g >

Ahkna turns her heat ray on a guy carrying a fission bomb, and she calls him nuts?!? Scarrens really are that dumb! (And Francesca Buller is, as usual, enjoying herself just a leetle too much. < g > Always so much fun to see her torturing her husband, oh yes.) But then the Charrids are dumb enough to confuse 'partner' with 'minion', so they're not winning any points, either. But the Emperor at least has a way-cool wardrobe going for him; easily one of the best costuming jobs we've seen yet. And he's easily the smartest of the Scarrens we've seen, and the coolest customer; I'd almost respect him if he wasn't, you know, evil.

It's very wrong that I dislike seeing Scorpius being tortured any more, and respect him for keeping a smart mouth during the process. And seeing him dangling there, after being tortured... That's still just wrong, man. And another illustration of the bond between him and John in that unspoken exchange after John finds him-- it's nothing like the one between John and Aeryn, or the rest of Moya's crew, but it's there. And no amount of wishing it wasn't will make it go away. :p By the way, I so don't believe Scorpius is a Scarren spy. Double-agent? You betcha. He hates them too much for anything else; there's no way he faked the only real emotion we've ever seen from him. I have no idea what game he's playing, but working for the Scarrens ain't it. (None of this, by the way, means I wasn't half hoping John or Aeryn would pull that trigger.)

You know.... every time I see Stark, it becomes harder and harder to resist the temptation to beat the snot out of him. To kill him thoroughly, once and for all, just to prevent him from ever, ever showing up at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and doing the wrong thing. I'm sure he's a very nice guy, and that's most of the problem -- he's so busy following his heart and trying to be wonderful and worth (and, you know, get major revenge on Scorpius) that he never bothers to bloody think! Oh, yeah, let's kill Scorpius as painfully as possible, and turn the resultant wormhole knowledge over the Scarrens. Zhaan would really approve of that, ya dork! I'm not unaware of the irony in Scorpy and John's strategy for finding Katratzi being used against them... I just find it annoying.

Do I believe that Grayza really wants what's best for her people? Well, I believe that she believes it, in the same way that Scorpius might actually believe it. They are, in their way, honorable villains -- they're working for A Cause.... which can make them worse. they have a Higher Purpose -- that makes it easier to stomp over all the lower purposes around them. Like, you know, life. And freedom. Then you have people like Braca, who tie their loyalties to one person and leave it there forever. Admirable on one level; horrible on the other, when that someone is one of the aforementioned honorable villains. But I admit, I was cheering when he shot down the Charrid.

I loved the proud grin on Aeryn's face as she watches John run through his crazy-but-not-dumb, human-to-the-nth paces when they first enter ("Isn't it fun?"). And the beeping bomb reacting to John's emotions? Both serious and hilarious, and perfectly played (and compared to what could happen if John has a moment of perfect happiness, Angel's curse starts looking particularly wussy, huh?). Loved watching D'Argo and Rygel double-team the Charrids, and Sikozu working the Kalish. (The eye thing, though? Icky. I want explanations, damn it!) Way to play two ends against the overlord, guys; I suppose that's what the Scarrens get for letting Moya's crew roam freely (Scorpy could have told them why that's such a bad idea). Between them, they cooked up a masterpiece of a riot, I must say! D'Argo and Sikozi racing through the warriors on their way to the exits was entirely classic.

And oh, god, was the dancing in the elevator scene one of the sweetest things in history of John-and-Aeryn or what?!? But getting 'caught' in the flowers was one of the funniest, especially the zipping. Although John's "There's never enough time," hits a little too close to home.... And the teamwork when they went after Scorpy ("I'll give you my bike if you kill him.") was vintage for Our Favorite Couple.

Really an excellent episode for continuity -- everything from Grayza's quest for "peace" to the wormhole tech to Aeryn's pregnancy leads us to this episode. Add in the excellent dialogue ("tall galaxies in a single bound!" "Where the hell is my riot?"), the rogue's gallery of baddies (all of whom we recognize and know after four years in this universe), the galactic con game being run on all of its infinite levels (I counted five, and I think that's a lowball), and the low-level of shippiness that runs through, and you have what might be very close to a perfectly-written episode. Your Faithful and Skeptical Tour Guides normally brace themselves for the second part of a three-parter, but this one is smart, it's funny and it moves -- everything you ever ask for in Farscape.