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4.21 We're So Screwed 3: La Bomba

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
Mark Saraceni Rowan Woods March 14, 2003 4.21
When The Plan falls apart (big surprise), unexpected allies and uneasy truces form the foundation of one last attempt to take down the Scarrens and emerge with Moya's crew intact.

Best Lines
Noranti: Oh, I do admire your compartmentalization of duplicity.

Crichton: I can't believe I left a nuclear bomb in an elevator.
Chiana: It's okay. You've done worse.

Chiana: Are we cursed? Could we be cursed?

More coming eventually

Kiki Says
Perri Says
Did I mention I lovelovelove the title of this three-parter? < g > How utterly appropriate can you get? But what a waste of a lovely riot. Damn. < pout > Okay, I officially respect the hell out of the Scarren Emperor now -- I hate him a lot, but respect him. The man knows his job, and is very good at it. But his taste in underlings sucks -- the more I look at hat chick, Ahkna, the more I think she's not rowing with both oars in the water. Actually, I think she lost the oars, and is only vaguely aware that there's a boat. She seems to think the bomb is sexier than John (as if!), plus the whole not being scared of things she should bloody well be scared of. Possibly, that's just a Scarren trait, though. Whichever, the Klingon Promotion System seems to have dealt with her.

I have a hard time seeing pretty flowers being the downfall of the ugly-ass Scarrens. But it would be such a Farscape thing to do, wouldn't it? It's a very Farscape thing to take us all the way back to Stark and Scorpy's first appearance (not sure I buy it, since I seem to recall something about Peacekeepers killing Stark's people, and that being how he was grabbed, but what the hell. I'd have to go back to check, and tolerate more of Stark than I'm willing to, so I'll go with it for now.) And the flowers do answer one thing that has been questioned since the first appearance of the Scarrens -- how a race that fundamentally handicapped by muscles for brains ever managed to get into space, much less take over significant portions of it. Answer: mental steroids, since they didn't need the physical kind. But what is the importance of the flowers on the base? Is that the supply for the entire Scarren race (doesn't seem big enough, really)? If so, has no one talked to these people about eggs and baskets?

I'm so intensely not surprised to find out Harvey lied. I'm still happy he's not dead, if for no other reason than that priceless "interrogation" scene in the "police station", but he was certainly spewing an extraordinary load of dren, even for him. Did John owe it to Scorpius and the "deal" not to leave him? Hell, no. After all of the times and ways Scorpius has screwed him, John had no reason and no requirement in the universe to go back to save Scorpius, so that he could then turn the wormhole information over to him. Uh-uh. Nope. Way outside the lines. But at least John found a way to get out of the deal and remove the issue -- nice save, Flyboy.

So. Sikozu is not just a genius, she's a superhero. Yay. Or, you know, not. Since we've only gotten hints for the last three episodes, I have minor issues with this. And she's a weapon engineered against Scarrens, yet she's been cozying up to half-breed Scorpy. Whatever. I've always preferred (read: been most tolerant of) Sikozu in her most "human" moments. Finding out she's a superhero does not endear her to me, nor do I think much of the writers for making an already far-too-obnoxiously-gifted character even more so. If her personality didn't suck so horribly, I'd be calling her Mary Sue. (I do, however, think better of the Kalish for having an underground, ineffectual though it seems to be.) Especially since Chiana's powers seem to have gone away somewhere.

That wasn't Stark? Huh. Well, I withdraw about half of what I said about the writers using a CPD (I stand by everything I've ever said about Stark). And I'm confused as hell about where Scorpy was getting his information -- from the real Stark or the replicant one? Except, speaking of CPDs, what's the real one doing there anyway? < pout > It's not like we were missing him....

Another super-secret military base go boom -- Crichton's racking up quite the count. I'd be cheering except for the effect mass murder always has on the poor guy. The last scene, as John deals with becoming one of the things we have all been raised to hate and fear most -- deals with unleashing a nuclear weapons -- is just excellent. Ben Browder continues to put John's heart right out there for us to see, and be wounded right along with him. Thank god for Aeryn (who, hopefully, had that damn egg released from stasis in the medical bay so we can stop having two hostages in one body pretty soon here).

But how much did I love John throwing the word rape back at Grayza? No one ever deserved it more. And I knew Grayza was going to crack. The second her Cause started going down the drain, I knew she was going to snap; as her Cause dies, she'll die with it given the slightest chance, because she's got nothing else. One question, though: when the hell did Braca grow a set of mivonks? And when did Grayza get fahrbot enough to believe a bunch of people she just sentenced to suicide would back her up?

Loved all the hat cracks, especially after all the promos for Children of Dune they kept running (I didn't watch; Dune sequels are, evidently, terribly depressing) with the attendant extravaganza of haberdashery insanity. And was anyone else having massive Willy Wonka flashbacks, what with all the elevators doing improbable things? (Oh. Apparently Crichton is having them, too. I'm so amused.)

Excellent directing from Rowan, as usual, particularly as the "vote" about the bomb was carried on. The low, close angle on John and Scorpy through the "windshield" was neat, and the split into couples on Lo'La was sweet and perfect (except for Sikozu and Scorpy, which is still disturbing on an epic scale). Even better, of course, was D'Argo and Chi finally getting back together -- let's hear it for near-death experiences as catalysts for reunions! Wahoo! < dance of joy > They belong together, they are together, and hopefully everyone is now mature enough and has dealt with enough lingering Issues to make it work! Your Faithful and Hugely Shipper Tour Guide was having a good day (and going temporarily blind at the sight of red hair and black leather. Ick. Ick. Ick.).

4.22 Bad Timing

Writer Director Tour Date Production Number
David Kemper Andrew Prowse March 21, 2003 4.22
The Scarrens are down but not out, and they've got a new target -- Earth. To save his people from slavery or destruction, Crichton must make a choice that could leave him forever stranded from home, and kill Pilot in the process.

Best Lines
We'll get to it -- this was good stuff.

Kiki Says
Perri Says
"There's a shirtless guy you've got to see on Sci-Fi!" So it began with a giggling phone call four years ago. Now, here we go, taking a deep breath and heading into the end. (They stole the "one shot from every episode" "Previously on" from Joss Whedon, which is fine because it's cool as hell, and the vidders certainly appreciate it, and as appropriate and touching as the "Finally, on Farscape" was, I hated it with an intensity I cannot convey. But you understand that.)

So, Scarrens are heading to Earth, Peacekeepers to follow, and we get this in a massive info dump at the beginning of the episode. Back and present and forward and back again.... yee. Don't they usually do this in a season premiere, not a season finale? At least it was an interesting way of doing it (D'Argo and Chiana as yentas were hysterically funny), but confusing as all hell trying to keep track of the timeline.

The rest of the episode, though? Excellent. Everything we've come to expect from a season finale and more; DK certainly put his all into this. Every single one of Our Heroes got their moment in the sun, and some who've been neglected got considerably more. "But I'm not you." -- how excellent a scene was that? Did you think when we started this that two Muppets could become as much people as anyone else (and better than some)? Rygel and Pilot were being quintessentially themselves -- Pilot giving of himself beyond all reasonable bounds for the love of his friend, and the good of an entire race, and Rygel calling him to action against his own instincts and self-interest.

Chiana and D'Argo also spend the episode being themselves, exactly was we love them: Chiana fights to the end and demands everyone she loves do the same; D'Argo is simply and necessarily the rock for everyone else to lean on, as he's nearly always been. Plus, we finally got little scenes we've been missing for so long, like Aeryn and Pilot bonding again, and... well, Pilot with almost everyone. It's been a while; we missed him so much when we were on another ship for so long. There's all kinds of reminders everywhere you turn about why we love these people so much. So much....

And yay, there are Chiana's superpowers; good to know they haven't been forgotten. I sort of wish the nasty consequences had been, though. God, I hope Chiana heals -- but she's not alone; that's something, if not much. D'Argo will move heaven and earth to help her, and so will the others. Including Noranti, who in her saner moments reminds me more and more of Zhaan -- not in attitude or emotions, but in the aura that surrounds all Healers. The serenity of knowing you can help sometimes, the frustration of knowing you can't do it always.

"It's always about time" -- Aeryn summed up her entire relationship with John right there. It's always been just slightly off, one of them dealing with Issues when the other is sane, and vice versa. Tag-team craziness has kept them both marginally whole (that and the application of a lot of D'Argo-therapy), but they've never quite crossed that line to togetherness without something destroying it. They've both come so far -- John willing to give up his chance at Earth to save it, Aeryn not only not utterly freaked out at the thought of staying on Earth, but being willing to do it if she needs to. (The plan confused the hell out of my for a bit, until I realized they were going to destroy the wormhole on their way back. Now that's making a commitment, oh yes.)

Braca had power to begin with, and the boy was using it. Go, Braca. He gave it up again, of course, and we've finally ditched Scorpius and Sikozu, but it's too late to make us happy. Blegh. Scorpius, damn him, persists in ignoring emotions and hunches, and expecting everyone else to do the same, when there's a very good reason humans have them -- to remind us not to make the same damn stupid mistakes (like trusting Scorpius) more than once. But my eyes, my eyes!!!! Scorpius and Sikozu, I need a spork!!! And Braca the voyeur just adds that extra level of wrongness, especially when you consider how desperately unhappy he has to be about this. He spent more than a year pretending to be Grayza's sidekick, trying to bring his boss home, enduring everything Cleavage had to hand out. Then he finally succeeds, Scorpius is back and in power, and in Braca's moment of triumph.... it's a stacked redhead at Scorpy's right hand, not the faithful Miklo. Oh yeah, this has the potential for massive ugliness. (Is it wrong that I'm rooting for Braca? I've never liked the other two. Space 'em, make it quick, and all is well.)

I was going to make nasty comments about birds-of-paradise as exotic flowers in my last review, and am now glad I didn't. Trust the writers, oh yes. < g > Kewl, tossing in something we're going to make snide comments about being an Earth plant, and have it turn out to be... an Earth plant. And the Easter bunny fight with Harvey was just insane. I worry about the inside of John's head sometimes. Kiki had some kind of epiphany regarding Jesus and chocolate during this; me, I saw two guys in bunny suits beating each other up and wasn't really looking for the deepness.

Everything about the return to Earth rocked the planet down. The wormhole effects as they popped the bubble were so. beyond. cool. And then we were into the wormhole, and passing right through the Scarren ship! Two things occupying same space-time at same time, how neat is that. The CGI guys worked overtime, with incredible results. (And thank you, thank you, thank you for giving us a visual model for the bloody math!) Then there were the littler, quieter things, like finding the family picture Jack left on Serenity Base -- how he would love to know his son came back for it. I'm so happy that John called home to say goodbye, that Jack wanted him to have done enough, and that Jack wanted to come. Your Faithful and Extremely Sentimental Tour Guides were quite sniffley for a few minutes there. It was fitting to see Jack that one last time -- we began this journey with him, and we get to end it with him. Kent McCord rocks. And the sense of hope we get for Earth's future --Secretary General of UN being in charge of space matters, the planet getting it together at last -- leaves us a lot happier with the little planet we call home.

Exquisite directing throughout the episode, by the way,as expected from Andrew Prowse -- the last long pullback shot of Jack looking up at stars was amazing, and the Stark moment of "I think I'm okay now" provided a desperately needed laugh right after. As did Noranti drugging his ass, something we've all wanted to see for a very long time.

[Finally saw the Save Farscape commercial -- you go, guys! And to Sci-Fi Channel and your little 'thank you' message, and your web-site congratulations on winning the Saturn Award? Frell you sideways with a Prowler.]

This episode carried us full circle in the best of ways -- Earth to space, and back again, and where she stops, nobody knows. Some questions have finally been answered -- Aeryn is pregnant, John's the father, there is happiness abounding in a relationship that began with John getting his ass kicked by a chick. (And is John the cutest expectant father ever or what? Plus, the color commentary on the proposal? Hysterically funny.] Then we've got the old familiar stock StarBurst footage, and the IASA logo we haven't seen for a while. John fishes out the old microrecorder and finally shows us where that voice-over has come from. Then, he leaves his last tie to Earth sitting on the moon, full of information humans need to come out and join him in the stars.... So incredibly cool.

Gentle Travelers, I made a conscious choice. Forewarned of a cliffhanger from hell, Your Faithful and Determined Tour Guide hit the stop button. I stopped the tape, stopped watching the episode as John put the ring on Aeryn's finger and they kissed and all was right with the world. Kiki gave me a quick synopsis, I know what the cliffhanger is -- I simply choose not to acknowledge it. For me, Farscape ends (until the movie) with John and Aeryn together and in love and Moya's crew whole and happy. It is where it should have ended, where it must end, and I choose to carry that with me.

The creators and producers of Farscape began with a dream, and chose writers and actors who carried us with them beyond where our imaginations alone could have taken us. They gave us visions of beauty and joy, beside nightmares of pain and grief; showed us a universe so alien from our own that we could barely comprehend it, then filled it with characters we know as well as we know ourselves. Heroes and villains and, most importantly, people who were neither and both at the same time. John and Aeryn, D'Argo and Chiana, Pilot, Rygel, Zhaan, Scorpius, Crais, Braca, Jool, Noranti... They took chances, they broke the rules, they dared to go where everything in the history of television told them they couldn't -- and we are grateful for it beyond words.

"Sometimes things don't happen quite the way you imagine them." Farscape, except for its untimely end, never did -- and always did. Like John Crichton, this is exactly where we would have chosen to go, once we knew the choice was there.

This isn't the end. It can never be the end. Somewhere in the Uncharted Territories, Moya still glides gracefully through the stars, and we were given the gift of joining her crew for four glorious years. Thank you.

Need to get away? Want to leave this Earth? Your Faithful and Optimistic (and Reasonably-Priced) Tour Guides are ready when you are to continue the Adventure of Your Life. Operators are standing by, and this is Perri at TGUT, signing off.

For now....