Meeting 5 (09/06/99)

This meeting of the Aeryn Sun Interpretation Society and Widow's and Orphan's Emergency Beer Fund will now come to order. The members are reminded of our motto: If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.

The Chair wishes to advise the members that while watching A Human Reaction again, I somehow managed to splash some beer on my translator microbes. I believe that Aeryn's talk with Aliendad went something like, "Your son taught me an interesting game last night, The Naughty Peacekeeper and Her Helpless Captive. Once we blow this popstand, I'll see that you're taught The Nabari Thief and the Gruff Old Astronaut." You know the reply.

And what about Friday's episode? Is this the begining of a beautiful friendship? Was this the first of Aeryn Sun's radiant smiles? If the writers ever suffer from terminal writer's block, can they simply show an episode of Aeryn smiling? Would anybody notice? Would anybody complain? Wouldn't we just love it? YEAH SMILES!

I have noticed a great disturbance in the Force. At first I thought it was just the delivery truck with my weekly supply from the fine folks at Cerveza, but it wasn't. I checked the websites and they were good. There is major John and Aeryness everywhere. I viewed the fan fiction and it was very good. Bar a few people with a fixation on death, there is great 'shippyness on the web. The Great Tribe prospers and grows. Then I reviewed the bb. There was the problem. People say, yes UCSBdad, we want John and Aeryn to be together, now and forever, but we are afraid. We have seen sexual tension resolved before and the shows tanked. Yes, UCSBdad recalls when David and Maddy did it and Moonlighting reeked greatly from that point on. I still can't listen to Do Wah Diddy without breaking down completely. And don't ask me to describe what happens if I see a horse wearing sun glasses.

UCSBdad must ponder this, he must consider, he must carefully weigh the options, we must reason together. First, I assume the not even close to Lotus position. Then just the tiniest sips of the Sacred Nectar, perhaps just a skosh more than the tiniest of sips. Then turn on the Holy CD and sing along with the Mantra:

"She wore red dresses,
With black shining hair,
She is my darlin',
She taught me to care,
Was lost when I found her,
In Uncharted skies,
She wore red dresses,
And has beautiful eyes."

And then, Nirvana. I could hear, see, smell, taste and feel the great circle of life. Hot damn, stoned on Farscape again. Talk about your great Mandalas! And there was the answer. The three male leads on Farscape are played by Ben Browder, Anthony Simcoe and Claudia Black. I know what you're thinking. "We'd better get UCSBdad over with the rest of the folks on bad trips." Of course I know Claudia Black is the female of the species. I've memorized every line and curve of her, the swell of her....Ouch. Damn. I stepped on my tongue again. I imagine you can recognize the Worshippers of Our Raven Haired Goddess by our appearance. Blank stare, slack jaw, lolling tongue, and a slight speech impediment.

But, is not Aeryn Sun written exactly as a man would be written? What was the first thing she did upon meeting John? Knocked him on his butt. When faced with the Living Death, does she look around for some guy to save her? Of course not. When blinded, what does she do? She figures out how to save John and D'Argo. Faced with torture by Durka, what does she do? Tells him to take a flying leap up himself, while trying to loosen her bonds. When turned into a semi-Pilot, she may be scared spitless, but she walks out to face John. And who, may I ask, carries the gun in this duo?

Okay, you say. But what difference does it make if Aeryn Sun is written as a strong woman, a man, or a giant three toed sloth? And aren't we getting into, gasp, sexual stereotyping of women as, well, not strong? Yes. But, that's the point. Hollywood, and I use that term loosely to include any of our brethren from Oz, does have problems with any relationship between a man and a woman once the chase is over. But look at how well they do with guy buddy movies. Look at Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, any of the Lethal Weapons, The Searchers, any movie made with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas, and the list goes on. Take Butch and Sundance. At the end of the movie, they are still bickering:

Butch: You call that covering me?
Sundance: You call that running?

Run that scene through your mind with Aeryn providing the covering fire and John doing the running for the extra ammunition. And, also change the ending, of course. Can't you just see them? It works for me. Run any of Aeryn's scenes in Farscape in your mind, and ask, could this scene have been played by Ben Browder or Anthony Simcoe, or any other male actor? Yes.

But you say, UCSBdad, aren't we forgetting, well, you know, sex? Not I. This is, after all, television. Did you really expect to see actual sex on the tube? And I ask you, how do we know what Butch and Sundance did when Etta Place wasn't around. UCSBdad has been through the Hole in the Wall country. It's a cold and lonely place. You never know what sort of human contact might be welcome. Not to mention that there are those on the bb who feel Aeryn and John have been sleeping together since The Flax. And who knows, maybe they have been sleeping together since the first episode. How do we know Aeryn didn't take John back to her quarters for some Peacekeeper R&R? Sure, Aeryn seemed to be lacking in any ability to relate emotionally to anyone else, but I've known people with the social development of a fruit fly who have great sex lives. Think about it, John and Aeryn have been sleeping together from the get go. Would that change anything that has happened in front of the cameras so far?

So as long as our writers don't start considering Aeryn Sun as a woman, we're safe. Let John and Aeryn be one. What do we want? John and Aeryn. When do we want it? Now.

Just in case the FS writers are a mean spirited, low, vindictive, vengeful group, who have taken offense to any of the above, this would be a good time to reveal that UCSBdad is not a person, but one of those heavily armed, out of control Government Agencies so beloved of television. We bad, yeah, we bad.

I have also notice that John seems to be getting some criticism lately. Lets give the big guy a break. Try to put yourself in John's place. There you are, going to school, starting a career, or a family, and then, boom, there you are in the middle of God knows what. Sure you know what the words mean, but you have to know how to react to the words and the situations they describe. (Incoming/Fast Movers/Claymores/Arc Light/Straight Leg/Willie Peter, make you a believer/Dust Off/ Sorry 'bout that/Sappers in the wire/ Rock and Roll/Lock and load/PBR/Ruff Puffs/Science Fiction/Lurps/Tracks/Thunder Road.) And you have to function while people are trying to hurt you badly, really, really, badly. (Sucking chest wound/Medic/Traumatic Amputation/Triage/SFW/High velocity through and through missle wound/KIA.)

You're right. John is not the perfect hero we expect from television. No one else is, either.

And so, I hope I have stimulated a little conversation on the bb among 'shippers and nonshippers alike. Perhaps, even a little controversy. And if we have controversy, well, then let a hundred flowers bloom, let a hundred schools of thought contend. (Anyone recognize where I stole that line from?) And if there is controversy, I can do no more than again quote from that greatest example of Sebacean literature, Aeryn V:

"Let me speak proudly: Tell the Peacekeepers
We are but warriors for the working day;
Our gayness and our gilt are all besmirch'd
With rainy marching in the painful field;
There's not a piece of feather in our host-
Good arguement, I hope, we will not fly-
And time hath worn us into slovenry:
But, by the mass, our hearts are in the trim."

And remember, be careful out there.

Aeryn Sun Interpretation Society and Widow's and Orphan's Emergency Beer Fund