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Welcome Travelers!

I'm LARRY, the Razor-Toothed Vorlag, and I LOVE working as a bouncer for TGUT. Okay, I'm MOSTLY working for TGUT because my BROTHERS and I ran our bar bill up too high AGAIN, and Ms. Kiki and Ms. Perri say we can't drink any more until we work it off. UCSBDad said that was okay with him, 'cause it would keep us out of TROUBLE, and Ms. Kiki and Ms. Perri let us have all the ICE CREAM we can eat while we're on duty.

We're REALLY relaxed about being bouncers, and Ms. Kiki and Ms. Perri are REALLY easy to work for, so we just enforce the RULES and take care of people who cause TROUBLE. So don't cause any TROUBLE, okay? (And if you wanted to buy us a BEER, that would be REALLY nice.)

Oh, and I'm supposed to tell you that the bar is open from 1600 arns to 0400 arns, every day, cycle-round! Everyone MUST leave the bar at 0400 arns. You don't HAVE to go home (especially if you don't know where it is), but you can't stay here!

This is our bartender, Moordil (except everyone from Earth calls him Mike and no one will explain WHY) -- Ms. Kiki and Ms. Perri gave him a new job after his old one almost blew up(things NEVER blow up at TGUT, almost). He knows how to mix every drink that was EVER created, so you can order a Jovian Sunspot or some fizzy Ozwater or Romulan ale, or pass up the alcoholic and graphite for something with LOTS of caffeine, like ratajino. We've got lots of snack foods too, like food cubes and ortolans with gahhhk sauce and ICE CREAM. Just talk to Moordil to order, and he's the one you pay, too. (Moordil gives UCSBDad free beers, but we're NOT supposed to tell anyone that.)

TGUT Drinking Game Aeryn Sun Interpretation Society
and Widow's and Orphan's
Emergency Beer Fund
Commander Crichton says this is something that college students on Earth play when they have free time. (UCSBDad says so, too, but I'm not sure I believe him. And I wonder what they're studying, exactly....) UCSBDad knows EVERYTHING, and he likes to tell you ALL about Aeryn Sun, her crewmates, the Peacekeepers and why it's so hard to get good BEER in the Uncharted Territories.
Flunkies, Barflies and Hangers-On
Lots of people have lots of things to write about the Uncharted Territories, so Ms. Kiki and Ms. Perri are setting aside a special section of the Bar just for them! If you've got something long and pointy to say, like UCSBDad ALWAYS does, send it to barflies@perriverse.dreamhost.com. They take points off for grammar and spelling, so WE don't have anything up yet, but just WAIT!