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Rules of the Road | Special Handling/Waivers | TGUT Blacklist

Attention All TGUT Flunkies!

The following have proven themselves to be Extreme Risks, Completely Insane
and/or Unable to Play Well With Others. They are therefore barred from any and
all of TGUT's services. (Yes, that does include the bar!)

Any attempt by these individuals and species to book tours should be
immediately reported to Security. See if you can get them to pay first, though.

Individuals | Species

Br'nee and Company
Reason for Blacklisting: Genocide by neglect, collecting without a license

While all in favor of advancing knowledge, and scientific research, TGUT has to take exception to the methods practiced by Br'nee and his people. Collecting specimens is one thing, collecting them when they're alive and sentient is something else entirely! As we don't want any of our passengers to be relegated to 'scientific curiosities' -- or abandoned to eat each other on asteroids -- this species gets to stay wherever they're currently planted. If any attempt to board, please notify Pa'u Zhaan (if available); she's got some Greenpeace issues she'd like to work out.

Reason for Blacklisting: They're lawyers. We need more reasons?

TGUT has its own legal staff, thank you very much, and we have no intention of indulging any species that has decided to embrace the legal system as the highest form of civilization. Since we're fairly certain they can worm their way out of any of the waivers, legal agreements, etc., that we force... um, encourage our passengers to sign, we don't want them aboard. (Besides, they wear really silly hats.)

The Nebari
Reason for Blacklisting: Mind-cleansing without permission, biological warfare, planetary invasion

Refugees from the homeworld are welcome. We'll even let you work your passage, as long as you don't steal it. Representatives of Nebari Prime are *not* welcome, however; their fondness for mind games, torture, and that thing with the eyes is extremely distasteful to your Queasy but Faithful Tour Guides. We at TGUT believe everyone is entitled to whatever religious, ethical, sexual, or deviant food practices they choose to practice, as long as it's confined to their own quarters where it can't gross out other species. As the Nebari rulers seem have a problem with this, in the interests of good taste and the belief that washing other people's minds for them is just way too kinky (to say nothing of that whole infectious disease business), they are not welcome on our tours. If they offer to change your mind for you, politely point out the Emergency Evil Customer Button (TM) button to them, and tell them what you believe it does. Also, all refugees are required to take a full physical (including V.D. exam). Nothing against your species, but we are familiar with your current rulers' ... habits.

Reason for Blacklisting: Delusions of galactic domination, mind-frelling without a permit, halitosis on an epic scale

Can you say non compos mentis? As well as needing Mentos? Jeez. And who designs their wardrobe, anyway? They really don't have the bodies for all that leather.... combien that with their apparent need to rule the galaxy, and total willingness to trample over the bodies of anyone necessary, and you get someone you don't want to be standing next to at the buffet.

Zenetan Pirates
Reason for Blacklisting: Piracy, hijacking, unlawful detainment of vessels, gambling (badly)

TGUT is in the business of showing people a good time and making money, and the Zenetan pirates simply refuses to follow our corporate philosophy. While they can be amusing Tadek players and sometimes have a certain conversational flair, we feel that losing ships and paying ransom demands is bad for business, and any attempts made to gain passage on one of our tours would be part of a set-up. Alert Security and the local authorities if they put in an appearance, and never let them draw first.


Reason for Blacklisting: Kidnapping, torture, mind rape, murder

If there's a mean, rotten, horrible, no-good, very bad thing that can be done, Scorpius is right there doing it. Between his natural instincts for nastiness, his neural chips and his lovely Aurora Chair, we plan on steering very, very clear of Scorpy. The good news is that he's unlikely to blow us out of the stars, since he (usually) wants Crichton alive. The bad news is, he's been known to forget this.... If Scorpy is spotted anywhere in the vicinity of the TGUT offices, hit the Emergency Evil Customer Button (TM) button and run screaming for the hills. (However, if you see a chance to actually kill the guy for real, go for it. Between the various bounties on his head and the fact that Crichton would owe us some majorfavors, plus that whole thing where Ultimate Wormhole Weapons are just bad for business, getting rid of Scorpius would give us a great big happy.)

Commandant Grayza
Reason for Blacklisting: Rape, attempted rape, megalomania, taking feminism just way too far.

It's not that we resent Grayza for her, ah, way with men, it's that we have serious problems with how she applies it -- and to whom she applies it. There's also her willingness to throw allies down the hole in the name of peace with the Scarrens, did we mention her willingness to detroy Earth, and can we discuss that wardrobe? Guys, stand back -- any appearance by Grayza on any TGUT vessal will be handled by the women. And we'll enjoy it.

Captain Braca
Reason for Blacklisting: Bad taste in employers, blind loyalty

While it's hard to fault this young Captain for doing his job to the very best of his (not very impressive) ability, we'd really prefer he did it somewhere far away from us, as he is rarely found without Scorpius and/or Grayza holding his leash.

Captain Selto Durka
Reason for Blacklisting: Desertion of in the heat of battle, cowardice, torture of prisoners, hijacking

Not to mention being completely bonkers. We have enough crazy people on our crews, we don't need this guy hanging around, trying to play Cruise Director from Hezmana again. Plus, he's another one that wants Crichton dead, and for a Human, the Commander's been awfully useful fixing things and solving problems on our tours. And, let's face it, he's cuter in a T-shirt than Durka. So don't give this man a ticket. (Dominar Rygel seems to have thoroughly disposed of this Nasty Man, but we're not taking any chances. He's come back from the dead before....)

Xhalax Sun
Reason for Blacklisting: Homicide, attempted homicide, mind frelling

Life hasn't been easy for Aeryn's mum, but that's no reason to take it out on her daughter -- particularly not as nastily as Xhalax has. Assuming she survived Crais' attack, she is forbidden to come anywhere near Aeryn until she's proven she can act like a mother instead of a Peacekeeper.

Macton Tal
Reason for Blacklisting: Homicide, obstruction of justice, general dorkdom, consideration of D'Argo's feelings and the delicate sensibilities of your Tour Guides

Since D'Argo would feel compelled to splatter Officer Tal's blood all over Moya's walls in retaliation for the murder of his wife, and Officer Tal is unlikely to stand there and let him do it without a fight, TGUT has decided that it would be bad for business to let Tal anywhere near our offices. We're just squeamish that way. (And we don't have a high opinion of sororicides ourselves.)

Icarian Company, Pleisar Regiment
Reason for Blacklisting: Conflict of interest regarding Officer Aeryn Sun

Officer Sun's old commando team isn't going to get their shiny commendations and officer's bars back until Aeryn is in PK hands on trial for treason, or dead. So, while we'd be pleased to take their money, and we're sure they're lovely people (in a Peacekeeper kind of way), we feel it best not to present them with temptation. That way, all sorts of social awkwardness will be avoided.

Actually, after glancing over this list, we've decided that all active Peacekeepers are to be barred from all TGUT Tours. Sorry, guys, but you're going to have to permanently resign, retire, go AWOL, be declared irreversibly contaminated, or die before we'll sell you a ticket. Past history has shown that the tours you take have a 50% casualty rate, and our insurance premiums just can't cover the extra damages.

Vidcaps taken from The Farscape Webring, The Farscape Zone and Farscape Fantasy.