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Rules of the Road | Special Handling/Waivers | TGUT Blacklist

While TGUT does not discriminate among race, color, creed or species, in the interest of maintaining a pleasant, safe and profitable tour environment, the following rules shall be enforced for all members of the following species wishing to travel aboard a TGUT vessel. Anyone not abiding by these regulations will be Really, Really Sorry.

Personal Travel | Business Travel

The Ancients
TGUT understands the quest for a new home which the Ancients has undertaken, and welcomes them aboard our vessels (at a slightly discounted fee, even, if you catch us on the right day) to continue their search. However, we wish to make it very clear that any mind games whatsoever played on any of our customers or crew pursuant to that quest will result in immediate loss of shipboard privileges and/or traveling rights, and that discount'll be history, guys! We mean it; we'll help you find a new place to live, but we want to know we're doing it!

The Clansmen
We at TGUT have all kinds of sympathy for these children, and are more than willing to give them transport off the Royal Cemetary Planet where they reside (for a nominal fee, payable in non-cursed goods). But there will be no jumping off of high places, no matter how good your singing voices are (our insurance just is not going to cover it!), and all magic mushrooms will stay planetside. Period. Anyone caught with contraband fungi will spend the rest of their trip in hydroponics. Annoy us enough, and you'll be in there as fertilizer.

Captain Bialar Crais
Didja ever think we'd give this guy a pass on our ships? Well, neither did we, but Crais has shown increasing signs of sanity and maturity, so we're taking him off the blacklist and welcoming him aboard our tours. (This does not, however, mean Your Trusting and Optimistic Tour Guides are letting him run loose -- despite the odd occasional hormonal imperative to jump him, Captain Crais will be kept under constant DRD surveillance. We don't really trust him farther than Talyn can yank his strings.)

The Diagnosian
Now these are some people we at TGUT love to see coming; we'll even offer substantial discounts in return for free onboard care of our customers and crew. However, please make sure passage is booked well in advance, so that special decontaminated and pathogen-isolated quarters can be prepared, and we do ask that you leave your agents and middleman at home. Our ticket prices are not negotiable, and we tend to deal with the likes of Grunschlik by simply spacing them and removing the problem.

We at TGUT sympathize with the genetic imperatives compelling the Drakh to periodically comandeer others' ships to use as creches, but we must emphasize that genesis will be allowed to occur on TGUT vessels only with prior consent by TGUT and all current passengers. The temperature aboard such ships shall not climb above Optimum +5 if a Sebacean or other heat-sensitive species is aboard. In addition, absolutely no blue gunk shall be ejected from any Drakh, nor shall any replicants of passengers or Tour Guides be created. Violation will result in immediate expulsion from the tour.

Members of this semi-mythical race may not be common, but they'e a lot of fun at parties! Which doesn't earn them a discount, but does get them a few extra smiles at the check-in counter. However, any Hangi using his abilities to spy on anyone who objects to this practices will lose several eye stalks (and have to pay the appropriate fines).

As the relative of a TGUT employee, Ka Jothee is welcomed aboard any tour, and is entitled to a discount...as long as it's not used aboard Moya (this is in the interests of our blood-free decorating scheme, social harmony, and the mental health of D'Argo and Chiana).

It's not M'Lee's fault she has to eat bones to live; all we ask is that we get advance notice of her trips so we can make sure we have appropriate quantities of calcium supplements aboard. Any personnel disappearing while M'Lee is onboard will, however, be attributed to her dinner until proven otherwise.

TGUT is all for scientific exploration and advancement, and we encourage others to get out there and discover. Dedicated scientific races like the Pathfinders are more than welcome aboard our ships, on one condition -- there will be no parking of your spacecraft on, in, or through any TGUT vessel! Your Honorable and Obstinate Tour Guides have no intention of assuming responsibility if you screw up, but our lawyers will ensure that you do! (And don't even think about sacrificing any of our ships to get your own home. We'll take you there ourselves (for the appropriate fee), we'll even give you a tow. But we're not suicidal, we're not stupid, and we're not believing a word you say.)

Truth is indeed in the eyes of the beholder, and we respect the Plokavian's dedication to Truth. However, any Plokavians wishing to travel aboard a TGUT vessel must first attend a mandatory screening of Roshamon, just to avoid any perceptual problems down the line....

Royal Sebaceans
All members of the royal family will be duly greeted and fawned upon by TGUT's crew. However, we will be conducting periodic checks for wrist stilettos and other concealed weapons, and we insist that their security measures conform to TGUT standards -- since their own have proven woefully inadequate. And as for the little DNA 'compatibility test' they're so fond of sharing, remember: just because a species is compatible, doesn't mean it's interested!

TGUT welcomes our Sheyang visitors, and will provide fire-proof quarters on request. However, all Sheyangs must carry with them at all times: fire extinguishers, extra-heavy-duty kevlar mouthwash and the codes to their ship's sprinkler system. Any misuse of those codes (or their breath) will result in said offender being brought up before Officer Sun. You don't want that, trust us.

Tavleks are welcome aboard TGUT vessels; however, their gauntlets are not. Any Tavlek attempting to bring a gauntlet aboard a TGUT vessel will be swiftly knocked unconcious and said gauntlet confiscated. On request, our Obnoxiously Cheerful Tour Guides will offer medical assistance to any Tavlek who encounters withdrawl symptoms, or transport them to the nearest branch of the Betty Ford Interstellar Free Clinic and Casino.

Vidcaps taken from The Farscape Webring, The Farscape Zone and Farscape Fantasy.